jealous

[wonderland]

This may sound strange and please don't judge me for this. Do you ever get jealous of other people's self harm scars/cuts?

I often spend hours looking up images of self harm and whenever i see a picture and the scars/cuts are bigger then mine i get really jealous. I want to cut that deep or deeper. And if i see a picture and the scars/cuts are smaller then mine i feel some what proud.

I wish i wasn't like this but i can't help it. So yeah, anyone else ever feel this way?

[CosmicNoodle]

No, not really, never felt like that, admitedly I have a gruesom facination with self harm images, I do often find myself googling it just to see it, (kind of as a way to satisfy myself, somehow it makes me want to cut less, as if seeing a cut, even on someone else makes the craving go away for a while). But I have never been jealous of other peoples scars, no matter how deep or large.

[Broken Toy]

I do have a tendency to be unsatisfied with the amount of blood and i cut more if in not happy but never really jealous

[Miserabilia]

I kind of understand, It's not rational jealousy, but more like an ache.
Like you want more yourself, I guess.

[Desuetude]

I completely understand, god I thought I was the only one that was that fucked up to want to cut deeper to 'prove' something to myself. It's so damn stupid but I can't seem to change that mindset in my head. Yeah I used to scroll through tumblr making myself feel shitty because all of the SH pictures were worse than mine, almost gave me something to aim for but they never triggered me, more motivated me. I feel so fucked up for writing this >.< I don't self harm very often anymore but that doesn't mean I don't look at my scars and feel disappointed in myself, that itself is one of my biggest triggers at the moment.

So I know it makes you want to punch yourself for thinking like that but just know you're not the only one.

[Deiform]

This happens to me a lot. I dont understand why, but for me, it can make me feel better.

[Dying Ember]

Seeing pictures does make me want to cut more/deeper but I don't really get jealous.

[wonderland]

I completely understand, god I thought I was the only one that was that fucked up to want to cut deeper to 'prove' something to myself. It's so damn stupid but I can't seem to change that mindset in my head. Yeah I used to scroll through tumblr making myself feel shitty because all of the SH pictures were worse than mine, almost gave me something to aim for but they never triggered me, more motivated me. I feel so fucked up for writing this >.< I don't self harm very often anymore but that doesn't mean I don't look at my scars and feel disappointed in myself, that itself is one of my biggest triggers at the moment.

So I know it makes you want to punch yourself for thinking like that but just know you're not the only one.

I know it's not a good thing but i'm kind of glad that i'm not the only one that feels this way. What you described is exactly the way i feel.
Thank you for being so honest

This happens to me a lot. I dont understand why, but for me, it can make me feel better.

it's comforting and makes me feel less alone knowing that i'm not the only one that feels this way. I appreciate your honesty

[AllTimeLoser]

This may sound strange and please don't judge me for this. Do you ever get jealous of other people's self harm scars/cuts?

I often spend hours looking up images of self harm and whenever i see a picture and the scars/cuts are bigger then mine i get really jealous. I want to cut that deep or deeper. And if i see a picture and the scars/cuts are smaller then mine i feel some what proud.

I wish i wasn't like this but i can't help it. So yeah, anyone else ever feel this way?

I do understand where you're coming from, my friend also has cut before a lot and her scars are honestly so large... i'm not really jealous of the cuts themselves, it actually makes me cry that she ever did it, I just hate the fact that she doesn't have to hide them and that mine never seem to be enough for me... I hate that I feel like that though

[Ben_Frost]

I don't, I actually get happy I never indulged into self harming before. But I do know a friend who actually gets jealous over other people carving words on their skin because she can't. I would like to know why would someone get jealous about something like that.

[Desuetude]

I don't, I actually get happy I never indulged into self harming before. But I do know a friend who actually gets jealous over other people carving words on their skin because she can't. I would like to know why would someone get jealous about something like that.
I can't really answer that. Why do people get the urge to self mutilate in the first place? It's not really 'normal', so this type of mindset is just a branch off of self harm. You can't help your thoughts, you can attempt to suppress them but even then, they'll always be there. I honestly couldn't tell you, it makes me feel disgusting that my brain even makes me think "she has bigger scars than me, I need to cut deeper". It's just so damn fucked up.

[romes3]

No, but mine are big and very noticeable. I'm actually jealous of those with smaller cuts.