:(

[beauty from pain]

I feel it's just me on my own know

My cousin been running away, well now she is in foster care so my aunt is really down. My Nan has been going over to their house and hasn’t been able to look after my granddad cos he ill and has cancer. He’s fallen over and I think I heard mum saying he hasn’t got that long. My other granddad is ill and because my Nan died no-one really looks after him now he can’t walk that well. There something wrong with my mum and she has to go and see a specialist no-one know what’s wrong with her she cant walk well and her back and hip plays her up. The other day she fell over at home and says that it’s normal. This year can’t go to parent’s evening and always has done. She can’t because she can’t walk to the school cos my dad has to work late. A few weeks ago she has fallen over and cut nearly all of her fingers and grazed her chin pretty bad. She’s can’t even walk to the bus stop without her legs going and its 1 minute away. She’s struggling really badly. My sister has arthritis and is suffering with that. It’s like im losing nearly all my family. I watch them suffer and can’t do anything. I just feel so helpless.

I hate myself. I’m just me and just ergg. I want to be someone different. Everyone has been talking about me. I’m having trouble sleeping. I’m starting to hate everyone going on and on I’m like failing in everything.
I just can’t bare to be around people anymore. People make me angry and unhappy and I really don’t no why. I am happy in the morning and then in the afternoon that’s it extremely unhappy for no reason.

I want to lose all the weight I have but I keep binging. Yesterday was Easter. It was a wake up call. I need to lose the weight. I’m 14 years old and 147lb how disgusting. I watched this program which always made me realise I seriously need to lose weight. I hate me and every time I look there fat. I’d kill to be skin and bones. Instead im skin and fat.

[thesphinx]

First of all Welcome to VT I'm Mike, sounds like your going through a whole lot of stuff right now.
Sorry about your granddad's and your mom, my grandpa passed away last year from Alzheimer's so I know what it's like to have a sick grandpa.
Why do you hate yourself? none of this is your fault.
How tall are you? the reason I'm asking that is because 147lb isn't that much, you may be a little above average but I doubt you're overweight.
Hang in there we're here for you.

[StacyFace93]

juss try n think on the bright side. u haff it better than other ppl do. i wudnt stress bout ur weight 2 much, just make sure u excercise n eat rite!! i hope evrything turns out good 4 u and no dat u always haff God 2 help u.

[IfPiratesCouldFly]

juss try n think on the bright side. u haff it better than other ppl do. i wudnt stress bout ur weight 2 much, just make sure u excercise n eat rite!! i hope evrything turns out good 4 u and no dat u always haff God 2 help u.

Healthwise yes, but having to deal with said things is horrible on the body and mind.

I'm so so sorry to hear about all of this...My best bit of info is that, eventually things get better when things are at there worse, something good will come in the end. In my experience its always happened like that, it might take forever, but it does.

As far as weight goes, just eat normal, exercise, I know its hard with all that is going on, but, take care of emotional issues first, then go for physical.

As far as hating yourself, and wanting to be someone else, you can't be someone else, the best you can do is embrace who you are, and make the best of it, ignore the negative things and focus on more positive, thats the best you can do.

[beauty from pain]

Thanks you all so muc for being kind
Mike i'm 5"5

[japanman]

You dont want to be skin and bones (i way 65 to 70 pounds and im turning 14 in a couple of days)
try to stay healthy not too overwight and not too under bilieve its not good to be skin and bones bieng able to see my ribs is creepy too i can almost see my spine too.