[Trigger Warning] I'd like to know your stories

[Subject to Change]

What the title says , I just want to know why you yourself cut, the emotions you feel and the reason behind them.

If that isn't to much to ask.

[Karkat]

I don't really cut, I self-harm in other ways, but it's usually as a form of punishment towards myself, or to release frustration. I'm usually depressed, angry, or frustrated.

[Subject to Change]

Enlightening.

[Broken Toy]

Ive been to hell and back with my best friend who i just happened to fall in love with, fall definitely being the correct word. Cut once in january, all went well then now ive been cutting since April and my record is 6 days.
I normally cut while thinking about suicide or in depressed then cutting makes me think about suicide.

What's your story

[wonderland]

I first cut back when i was 11 i believe, got a pair of scissors and hacked away at my leg for about an hour. I'd been punching myself until i was black and blue and attempting to break my fingers for many years before that though so i guess it started long before i was 11?

There's various reasons for my self harm i guess. Sometimes i do it because i'm stressed and want to take my mind off of what's stressing me. Sometimes it's because of guilt and is a way of punishing myself, or again taking my mind off things. Sometimes it's just because i hate myself. I hated my body before i started cutting and i didn't care if the scars looked gross since my body was already ugly. It's also an alternative to things like suicide i guess. I want to kill myself so badly, i think about it daily without fail and I've attempted it on various occasions. Self harming is the only alternative that seems to work.

I've kind of covered it already but i'm usually feeling guilty, worried, upset, angry or suicidal.

[Living For Love]

Mod note: just keep in mind this section is NOT a place for you to ask how to self harm, share methods, or tips about self harming. [Trigger Warning] was added to the title.

[CosmicNoodle]

Wel I do it for a few things, to stop myself feeling stressed and angry, as a way of punishing myself, as a way to stop myself hurting other people.

As for how I feel? Numb, angry, upset, feels like someone has taken a blow torch to your very soul.

[Subject to Change]

Mod note: just keep in mind this section is NOT a place for you to ask how to self harm, share methods, or tips about self harming.
I want to know there stories not there method if they share there method that's up to them.

Wel I do it for a few things, to stop myself feeling stressed and angry, as a way of punishing myself, as a way to stop myself hurting other people.

As for how I feel? Numb, angry, upset, feels like someone has taken a blow torch to your very soul.

Whats wrong with feeling numb?

[Dying Ember]

Whats wrong with feeling numb?

What's wrong with feeling numb?
Everything.

[Descene]

I don't know for quite how long, but I've been clean for maybe two or three years. Feels longer. I only mean this as a reference to myself, but being much older now, in hindsight it was very stupid and I would have rather not included that in the list of things my parents had to deal with. That one night changed a lot of things and I wasn't prepared for that.

Anyhoo, I did it cause it was a thing. I continued to do it for the endorphin high, which I guess got to the point where now even the sight of blood gives me a similar feeling. And I kind of just grew out of it. I didn't want to any longer so I stopped. I almost wish I had a more interesting quitting story.

[zelda234]

I do it when I feel like breaking things, but especially when I feel guilty and as though I need to make myself pay. Giving myself some scratches sometimes seems like the only thing to help move on. If I focus on a bit of pain it eases my destructive thoughts and I can calm down and restart. Sometimes it's something less harmful like tugging on my hair without breaking it, or gripping my forearms.
But anyway I think I'm slowly leaving that phase of my life. I'd rather that I never made myself do these things, but that's the way it happened and I'm getting better.

[Miserabilia]

Sometimes I just get tense. A headache starts, I get nauseas, all because of what I'm thinking and I can't stop thinking about it. I search for a release and once you find it in cutting or self harm there's really no way of truly going back.

[queenofcontrariety]

The only people who

[Maiden]

during the time i was cutting myself i felt like there was no point to anything, i hated myself was paranoid that the people around me hated me etc, even tried to kill myself.
the curring itself let me forget about everything for a short while.

im glad i didnt kill myself as today i love my life even though i sometimes somehow miss my past life.

[Babs]

I've had many reasons over the years. It was to punish myself at first, and at times it was because I felt numb and wanted to feel something, or because of an unexplainable urge. It has been kind of complicated.

[BookSmart]

I'm not actually sure when I first started self harming (does an eating disorder count?), but I guess I did it out of punishment or stress? My self harming started mostly after binging or eating more then was supposed to in the day. I'd have a huge freak out. Pull hair. Cry. Scratch.

On one particularly stressful night (right before my first day of sophmore year), hair pulling and scratching wasn't enough. I took a safety pin and used it to cut all down my left arm. It wasn't deep at all, but that's how my cutting started.

I didn't cut frequently after that (probably because I was heavily restricitng at the time). Around November, I got caught in a binge-fast cycle, which lead me to cut more often. That was when I started using razors. Things really went more downhill from there.

I've gone through some periods since then where I've been "clean" I guess, but I still do it. It's not just after binges anymore. It's stress. Anxiety. Embarrassment. I don't really know anymore. But I have a counselor, and I guess I'm trying to get better now!

My friends are all really supportive, so they're really what's helped me keep going.

[Cisel]

For me it popped up here and there when I was about 11 or 12. It didn't actually become a problem until about a year ago. I stopped after I became religious although I still get urges. I did it as a form of release. I resist it as much as I can now, but if I give in it's because things built up and I was imploding.

[LunaHermione]

It just makes everything better for a little while. Makes things bareable. But after the relaxing feeling goes then I just feel like shit and I'm just so angry with myself. But I can't stop you know? It's either every day or most days and it's just this vicious cycle that I can't stop. I don't know how to stop. And the scary thing is I'm not sure if I even want to stop.

[myusername_]

The first time I ever cut was two years ago. I carved an N into my hand whenbi was really angry. I didnt harm myself again until aboit the end of may this year when I was at a really low point. I was going out, I couldnt handle talking to people. It was a very low point for me. I started using the blaxe from my shaving razors to cut lightky across my left wrist. These cuts only scarred for a few weeks. I did a few deep cuts to distract me from the anger and sadness I was feeling. I didnt harm mysekf again until september this year. Eveything began to get overwhelming and I felt like I had jn may. I began pinching my right thigh on the outerside. I got a boyfriend not long after I began pinching myself, and I have to say tho he is similar to me in these aspects jt helps having someone who you care aboht and who cares about you. After a week or two I felt like the linching wasnt enough so I began using a rubber bad go sharply flick myself on my right wrist, my stomch and the tops of both my thighs. It was at this pkint I learned my best friend was self harming to so I began to blame myself. This is also the time I began to eat very little, as little as possible withojt my parents noticing. I tried, and have been trying to, throw up after I eat an excessive amount but thus far I have only been slightky succesful as I have a bad gag reflex. Since then ive learned a lot of upsetting information for which I am at fault, and I guess thats the root if my self harm. Last night there was a party at my boy criends house and everyone got really drunk. I made an agreement with my boyfriend that we could cheat on one another with anyone at the party so long as it was waist up. I stopped after a while because I felt bad, and remember we wede really drunk. He kept messing around with one of my friends even though I asked ghem both to stop repeatedly. I didnt mind too much for a while, but then I began to feel sad and angry. I was at fault, so to deal with the emotions I was feeling I was flicking myself with an elastic band but I felt like it wasnt emough. I went searching for vaeious knives but the drunk state I was in left me with knives to blunt to cut into my skin. I then went uo stairs and found a pencil sharpener. I removed ghe blade and cut myself twice above my ankle. I put the blade in my bag and got on with the party. This repeated several timea, and I now have 11 cuts above my ankle on my left leg. This morning I felt suicidal and wrote out a suicide not. I began planning my suicide. I have been thinking about jt all day. I was close to throwing myself out of a high story window but I didnt want to burden my friends with that. I am still contemplating shicide and im not done self harming. I do self harm becauze I need to pumish myself for various reasons. I really needed to tell so me one this, anyone this so thank you.

[Whiskers]

Well I feel in love with a girl 3 years ago and about one year ago when I still has friends I trusted my cousin to keep it a secret 20 minutes later it was on Facebook I started getting bullied and told she would never like a freak like me after this I sat alone at breaks hid at home after school and started cutting because the physical pain distracted me from my emotional pain and I would rather physical over emotional so whenever I get upset I cut (usually my upper arm because it's harder to notice) then I hide in my closet with my headphones on full volume and wait

[lowride]

My mom blaming me for my dad leavin

[RakshaMalayka]

The first time I remember I think I was 10. I can't remember what was going through my head, but I grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped a chunk out of my wrist. There had been a lot going on and I was being blamed for a lot of stuff again on top of my sister attempting to kill me. I was just so down and reminded of how unwanted I was by everyone.
From there it escalated to all different forms. Before that though I use to hit the punching back for the relief I'd feel as my knuckles would split. I don't count that though....