Opinions on protective parents?

[Desuetude]

So this year I've started my first year of college (UK) and I've made a bunch of new friends who live maybe 10 miles away from me. I want to hang round with them but it's hard with my parents being so protective, especially now it's been getting dark at around 6pm and I'm expected to be home by then. I know they trust me (somewhat) and know I'm responsibe, especially compared to some kids my age and younger, but they never give me the chance to show them that they're right to.

I was just wondering what your guys' opinions are as to what age parents should lessen the restriction on their kids? Like letting them out until about 9 or 10 and letting them make their way back home by themselves at times like 6/7?

[CosmicNoodle]

I resly don't like over protective parents, especially at your age (I presume 16-17), your not a child anymore and they need to know that. I'm 17 but basically have the freedom to do as I wish, and that's how it should be, the older you get, the more responsibility you should have, you being home at 6 is insane, you shouldn't have a curfue (can't spell) at this age, you should be an!me to stay out till the wee hours of the morn if you wish.

[ScottieDog]

I definitely think that if your parents are still imposing strict curfews on you before say 10pm when your 16/17 then something ain't right. I think a lot of the time parents just have a really tough time letting go. You've been their little 'baby' for the last 15-16 years and now the time has come to loosen the control a bit. I think it must be a tough thing to do. Talk to your folks about it and let them know you now feel you're old enough to make your own decisions about how late you stay out.

[Desuetude]

I resly don't like over protective parents, especially at your age (I presume 16-17), your not a child anymore and they need to know that. I'm 17 but basically have the freedom to do as I wish, and that's how it should be, the older you get, the more responsibility you should have, you being home at 6 is insane, you shouldn't have a curfue (can't spell) at this age, you should be an!me to stay out till the wee hours of the morn if you wish.
That's pretty cool that your parents let you make your own decisions. I mean I understand the need for a curfue but 'when it gets dark' at almost 17 is kind of pathetic.
I definitely think that if your parents are still imposing strict curfews on you before say 10pm when your 16/17 then something ain't right. I think a lot of the time parents just have a really tough time letting go. You've been their little 'baby' for the last 15-16 years and now the time has come to loosen the control a bit. I think it must be a tough thing to do. Talk to your folks about it and let them know you now feel you're old enough to make your own decisions about how late you stay out.

Yeah exactly. 2 years from now and I'll be in uni doing whatever the fuck I want so I don't see what the problem is loosening the ties a bit now. Attempted to talk to my mum and explain to her and I think I got through to her a bit but she still wants to meet whoever I'm with/know their address and phone number and all that fun stuff that makes me seem 5 to all my friends but I guess we're getting somewhere. Not even going to try with my dad but yeah I agree with you guys. If they're not letting go now then there's never going to be a good time to.

[CosmicNoodle]

That's pretty cool that your parents let you make your own decisions. I mean I understand the need for a curfue but 'when it gets dark' at almost 17 is kind of pathetic.


Obviously it requires mutual respect, provided I call at some point saying I won't be home till late or at all they're cool with it, that's really the only catch. Have you thought about talking to your parents about this?

[Croconaw]

My parents aren't protective at all. They don't care what I do. Tey let me make my own decisions because I am old enough.

[Desuetude]

Obviously it requires mutual respect, provided I call at some point saying I won't be home till late or at all they're cool with it, that's really the only catch. Have you thought about talking to your parents about this?
Yeah I have and my mum is starting to let me branch out as long as I give her every single detail about where I'll be, what time I'll be back blah blah but my dad isn't anywhere near that stage yet even though he goes out and leaves me home alone most nights, which is really fucked up logic but oh well. I don't really know how to make them see that I really just want the independence that I kind of deserve at this age.

[CosmicNoodle]

Yeah I have and my mum is starting to let me branch out as long as I give her every single detail about where I'll be, what time I'll be back blah blah but my dad isn't anywhere near that stage yet even though he goes out and leaves me home alone most nights, which is really fucked up logic but oh well. I don't really know how to make them see that I really just want the independence that I kind of deserve at this age.

Baby steps my friend, comply to there rules now, and the more to comply and are trustworthy the more they will trust you, and hopefully, the more freedom they will give you, OR, you could just do what I did and get more and more angry about it and then flip your shit one day, but thats likely not a good idea, you should go with the first one.

[Desuetude]

Baby steps my friend, comply to there rules now, and the more to comply and are trustworthy the more they will trust you, and hopefully, the more freedom they will give you, OR, you could just do what I did and get more and more angry about it and then flip your shit one day, but thats likely not a good idea, you should go with the first one.
Haha 2 pretty good ways of going about it. To be honest I'll probably end up going with the second one because I have a really short fuse and eventually I'm just not gonna give a shit anymore xD I'll attempt to stick to her rules now though, it still feels suffocating but I guess I'm getting somewhere. Thanks man :')

[CosmicNoodle]

Haha 2 pretty good ways of going about it. To be honest I'll probably end up going with the second one because I have a really short fuse and eventually I'm just not gonna give a shit anymore xD I'll attempt to stick to her rules now though, it still feels suffocating but I guess I'm getting somewhere. Thanks man :')

Ahh, one more thing, once you have more freedom, (hopefull you soon will) don't abuse it, dont come home smashed and smelling of weed at 5 in the morning (I've done that, never goes down well), dont stay away from days without a phone call (done that too, same response).

Be carefull, in the words of a poorly made spiderman film, "With great power comes great responsibility", don't abuse it, or it may be taken away never to come back.

No worries, good luck with your parents. And don't get mad at them for it, even if it is suffocation, they do it because they care about you (or they are sadistic bastards)

[Desuetude]

Ahh, one more thing, once you have more freedom, (hopefull you soon will) don't abuse it, dont come home smashed and smelling of weed at 5 in the morning (I've done that, never goes down well), dont stay away from days without a phone call (done that too, same response).

Be carefull, in the words of a poorly made spiderman film, "With great power comes great responsibility", don't abuse it, or it may be taken away never to come back.

No worries, good luck with your parents. And don't get mad at them for it, even if it is suffocation, they do it because they care about you (or they are sadistic bastards)
If we still had the +1 rep system you'd be getting one of them xD

I only need to last 2 years so if I geet the responsibility then I definitely won't go fucking up because I don't need to be back in this place unable to do anything.

I'll go with the sadistic bastards one, it makes me feel better about getting irritated with them.

[CosmicNoodle]

If we still had the +1 rep system you'd be getting one of them xD

Ohh thank god it's gone, I wasn't here to experiance it but I heard it waqs BAD.

I only need to last 2 years so if I geet the responsibility then I definitely won't go fucking up because I don't need to be back in this place unable to do anything.

Don't think so badly of it, in 2 years you'll miss where you are now (perhaps, I don't know much about your situation, but a lot of people miss it)

I'll go with the sadistic bastards one, it makes me feel better about getting irritated with them.


Anyway, I'll go before I derail another thread, see ya round :)

[Seafood]

I'm 15, still treat me like I'm 10.

[dame]

My parents used to be somewhat over-protective of me, but after showing responsibility & letting them know what my plans are they are now lenient. My curfew for when I'm out with friends & what not is 12am, but if I'm spending the night somewhere I just have to let them know. If I plan on staying out past midnight, I just have to tell them why & who I'm with, & to check in every once in a while. Like last night, I went on a date in the city, which is 40 miles away, & they didn't care because they knew who I was going with, & they know I'm responsible. I didn't get home until 3:30 am lol. My point is, maybe show some responsibility (I'm sure you're responsible enough), check in every hour with them, let them know your 100% of your plans, reassure them that you're going to have safe transportation. Anything helps, trust me. I was able to move my curfew from 10 to midnight by showing them I'm capable of being safe. Once I started driving they gave me much more opportunity than before.

[Karkat]

I'm practically an adult, I'll reach the age of majority before the weather warms up.

I'm going to an amusement park with someone who is in a way my cousin (Mom's stepbrother's son), who is my best friend, but we're not allowed to be alone together...Even though we're both adults... (He's 11 months older)

Not even for a minute. (Except on the rides, for whatever reason lel)

My mom will also randomly prevent me from going on walks, even though she usually lets me, I'm not allowed to play most T-rated games (Doesn't mean I don't. LOL. I own T and M rated games, I just have to hide them...).

I'm also not allowed to have friends, for the most part. My curfew is dusk- not even dark. (Meaning I have to be home by full visibility...) I'm not allowed to have social media, or text/etc. anyone she doesn't approve of.

I feel like I'm super biased about strict parents, but even with my... Excessive and laughable limitations, I still think that kind of a curfew at your age is kinda nuts.

[ImCoolBeans]

I think it's better that parents aren't extremely over protective of their kids when they're older teenagers, like 16-17. I understand a curfew for a 16 year old, but I think it should be like 11 pm or so, with exceptions. I don't think people should be as authoritative about it.

Letting your kids run wild and not caring what they do is one thing, and is bad parenting IMO, but so is not letting your kids have any fun. A lot of my friends' parents are way too strict about some things, even now at 18/19. But when we were younger, like 14-17, a lot of their parents were extremely strict, and wouldn't even let them sleep at other peoples' houses. I would hate having parents like that. I'm lucky I have a cool mom.