A changing sexuality?

[Julius's Justice]

Hi guys.

I'm 17, and all my life I've been attracted to girls. Recently though, I've developed a strong attraction to guys as well. So much so that I've considered dating them and kissing, etc. I haven't done so yet. I'm wondering if it's okay to give into those feelings or should I resist them? How do I explain them? Is it a phase? Should I be open about this and begin a "coming out" process or how should I handle this? I'm think I may be bi-curious and have the capacity to love both sexes.

I've been feeling this about a year now. First I began finding guys physically attractive, then emotionally and romantically. I'm quite confused.

What keeps me at a standstill also is my christian faith.

[Elysium]

There's no real reason why you should resist anything you're feeling. Handling it is up to you, but I'd say if you're so unsure, give it some more time. There's no rush to do anything - in fact, no matter what the conclusion turns out to be, you never have to do anything if you don't want to. It may be a phase, it may not be. The thing is, sexuality is very fluid, and tends to shift and adjust as you go through life. Frustrating though it may be, you need to accept that things can and might change. There is no reason to resist these changes.

Also, Christianity is really what you make it. I am not Christian but I see no reason why it wouldn't be okay for a Christian to be anything other than straight.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

Hi guys.

I'm 17, and all my life I've been attracted to girls. Recently though, I've developed a strong attraction to guys as well. So much so that I've considered dating them and kissing, etc. I haven't done so yet. I'm wondering if it's okay to give into those feelings or should I resist them? How do I explain them? Is it a phase? Should I be open about this and begin a "coming out" process or how should I handle this? I'm think I may be bi-curious and have the capacity to love both sexes.

I've been feeling this about a year now. First I began finding guys physically attractive, then emotionally and romantically. I'm quite confused.

What keeps me at a standstill also is my christian faith.

Stop hesitating, trust me, the faster you let you're sexual orientation blossom and identify itself, the less denial, regret and overall emotional distress you'll be subjected to.

[James Dean]

When you feel attraction towards a girl or guy, you can't help it. So I just suggest that you accept yourself and be proud of who you are. Maybe later on as time goes, you will come to understand bisexuality or develop your sexual identity further. Only do things that you are comfortable with and are safe with. There are going to be people that are going to try to force you into thinking or doing a certain way. In the end, it's your body and your sexuality. I wish only the best for you and I know you are going to find peace with your sexuality. :)

[Mob Boss]

I thought I was lesbian until about a year ago. I'm 20. And only a year ago did I discover that I was actually bisexual. There are adults well into their 40 or 50's that discover a change of sexuality or a sudden attraction to a different gender. While I believe for the most part sexuality is immutable, there ARE many factors that come into play. So, definitely common to be 17 and have an attraction bloom for someone of the same gender. Don't put yourself in a cage. I feel we sometimes are too hasty to label ourselves and wind up in a cage. You are what you are; whether that is gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, pansexual. It is a tiny part of who you are, but still a part of you so be honest with yourself. When you get to a point of "oh, this is who I am. This feels comfortable" then that is what you are, maybe just for that moment. Let yourself be and the label will come through experience and time. Don't hunt for it.

[Zachary G]

who knows, you could be bi curious, but the only way you will find anything out is if you explore those feelings. Im not saying go out and have sex with a guy or anything like that, thats not the answer. I know about being a Christian and having feelings like those, so if you do have faith, let it work for you, but you have to take the first step.

[CosmicNoodle]

If its been going on over a year, its likely not a phase, you may very well be bisexual....welcome to the cluib, we have T-shirts! :)

And your faith is no reason to hold back, god loves you and won't condemned you for what you are, what he made you to be. If your seriously thinking about guys all the time, sexualy and romantically then maybe its time to start giving yourself some options, exploring it further or learning to accept it. You are what you are, and you can't change it.

[Julius's Justice]

Thanks everyone for the good advice. I'll be thinking about all of it.

[ImCoolBeans]

Many psychologists suggest that sexuality is fluid, and you can't help who you are attracted to. Sometimes you come across somebody of the same sex or gender and you may find him or her to be irresistible, regardless of your sexual orientation.

However, if this has been going on for a while, then it's likely that you are bisexual. Only you can decide that for yourself, it doesn't define you, and doesn't need to change your identity at all. A lot of people go into a sort of crisis mode when questioning their sexualities, but you're still the same person you were before, nothing has changed, you're only acknowledging or confronting feelings.

If you think it's appropriate and are comfortable talking about it or saying something, then go ahead, but be wary that not everybody is accepting, and not everybody is comfortable hearing that somebody of the same sex is attracted to them.

[Body odah Man]

I don't know the laws/rules of Christianity very well, but I do believe that God won't turn on you for being gay/lesb. And it does sound like you are bi but there's no shame in that.

[CrazyPerson101]

Hi guys.

I'm 17, and all my life I've been attracted to girls. Recently though, I've developed a strong attraction to guys as well. So much so that I've considered dating them and kissing, etc. I haven't done so yet. I'm wondering if it's okay to give into those feelings or should I resist them? How do I explain them? Is it a phase? Should I be open about this and begin a "coming out" process or how should I handle this? I'm think I may be bi-curious and have the capacity to love both sexes.

I've been feeling this about a year now. First I began finding guys physically attractive, then emotionally and romantically. I'm quite confused.

What keeps me at a standstill also is my christian faith.


Okay, There isn't a actual real reason ( with facts backed up behind said reason ) that you should resist your feelings towards the same gender. If you're emtionally, romantically and sexually attracted to both genders, then you're probably bi actually. sexual identities are hard to find, it takes time to sort things out, it could be a phase but then again, it maynot be. It just depends on how you feel as you get older :)


Oh and I'm christian as well but this is how I see it, : If its a sin to likes guys and girls, then so what. we sin everyday and I've been told noones sins are worse than anyone elses so if I wanna be with a guy, I will and Ill be judged for it later but this is my life and I'll live it how I want to.

[Faolan]

I'm fairly the opposite of you. I've come to terms with being attracted to guys, but more recently I've noticed I'm also attracted to some girls. I wouldn't try to resist the feelings, just go where your heart takes you.
Religiously speaking, the idea that anyone will be condemned to hell because of who they love just doesn't make sense to me. I've been lucky enough to have two very accepting religious communities in my life (I was raised both Jewish and Christian), and all I have to say is that if you stay strong, others will respect you for it. I don't know how accepting your church or family is, but any which way, good luck figuring everything out.

[Semi_IronMan]

Hi guys.

I'm 17, and all my life I've been attracted to girls. Recently though, I've developed a strong attraction to guys as well. So much so that I've considered dating them and kissing, etc. I haven't done so yet. I'm wondering if it's okay to give into those feelings or should I resist them? How do I explain them? Is it a phase? Should I be open about this and begin a "coming out" process or how should I handle this? I'm think I may be bi-curious and have the capacity to love both sexes.

I've been feeling this about a year now. First I began finding guys physically attractive, then emotionally and romantically. I'm quite confused.

What keeps me at a standstill also is my christian faith.

I don't think you should resist it, I think you should embrace and learn to love yourself. And as for being Christian, I get where you're coming from... But who ever said that gay or bi people don't go to heaven?. God knows your true intentions and knows that you didn't choose to be gay or bisexual. I know that the bible says that having sexual relations with members of the same sex is an abomination and a sin, and if comiting a sin closes your doors to heaven, then trust me... No body's going to heaven. So if God can forgive those who steal, lie and comit all sorts of sins he can surely forgive u too and if those who steal, lie and commit all sorts of sins can go to heaven... Then trust me, you can too

[Meh Guy]

I think at 17, you may be a little old to be considered curious, and might just be bisexual. But again, that's your decision, I can't tell you what you are/aren't. If you think you may be bi, you could act on those feelings and see how you feel when in a situation with another guy. This may help you out.