Too Much Sex

[MycroftHolmes]

I am asexual. If you are unaware, asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to any gender or sex. Some asexuals are sex positive, some or sex indifferent, and some are sex repulsed. I'm one of the sex repulsed ones.

I'm also aromantic - I don't feel romantic attraction to others. I can still love people, but in a non-romantic way.

Right now, I'm still very much in the closet. No one else knows. That's not such a huge deal. I'm private anyway.

What is a big deal is what I go through at school. Everyone around me is talking about how "hot" that girl is, or how much one person wants to sleep with another person, or who did who under the bleachers.

These conversations make me feel sick. I literally want to vomit. I nearly cried when I found out one of my friends had had sex.

It takes a lot to get me that emotional.

Every time someone mentions sex in my presence, I want to hit him or her over the head with a chair. I can't stand this much longer. I'm going crazy.

What do I do?

[Sasha M]

Well. If you have good friends, telling them about your asexuality would be the obvious choice. They will understand. It depends on the kind of school you go to if people will dis you or not. I would recommend keeping this between friends if asexuality is something frowned upon. If not, just go out and tell people.
As far as your opinion goes, isn't this technically offensive? It's like if a straight person called a gay relationship "repulsive", so chill a little. :)

[MycroftHolmes]

It's not the relationships that bother me. I just don't like hearing every little detail about the size of her boyfriend's genitals, or who hooked up with whom.

As for 'friends,' I really don't have many, and the ones that I do have are usually the ones having the sexual conversations.

[Sasha M]

I think "who hooked up with whom" is a pretty big detail, if not the main one. However, like I said: You mention your friends. I say: Just tell them that its really awkward for you. If they are good friends they will understand.

[Gigablue]

I'm also an aromantic asexual, so hopefully I can give some advice. Unlike you, I don't really find sex repulsive, just uninteresting. I couldn't care less about having sex, or hearing about who has sec with whom. It just seems boring.

Technically, I'm also in the closet, but I have no desire to come out. Sex bores me, why would I want to waste my time talking to people about something I don't care about?

If you want to come out, go ahead an tell people. There is a stigma associated with asexuality, but it isn't like the stigma associated with other sexual orientations. People might think that there is something wrong with you, since they couldn't imagine not wanting sex at all. Try to educate them, but if all else fails, ignore them. There is nothing wrong with being asexual.

I have an easier time dealing with conversations about sex. I tend to avoid them, but I have figured out how to talk about sex without seeming too strange. I can tell who is generally deemed attractive and who isn't, even though I'm not attracted to anyone. I think that being able to fit in can make your situation easier, but it certainly isn't for everyone.

You might want to talk to your friends about how their conversations make you feel, but before you do, think about how they may respond. If you aren't prepared for their responses, don't do it.

It might also be worth it to try to find different friends. There are people out there who, while not asexual, don't talk about sex all that much, and can respect your boundaries. It might be hard to find them, but they exist. Try to find people that you have something in common with.

I wish you luck. I know that it is definitely hard being asexual in such a sexualized world, but try to stay hopeful.

[Silver700]

I'm also an aromantic asexual, so hopefully I can give some advice. Unlike you, I don't really find sex repulsive, just uninteresting. I couldn't care less about having sex, or hearing about who has sec with whom. It just seems boring.

Technically, I'm also in the closet, but I have no desire to come out. Sex bores me, why would I want to waste my time talking to people about something I don't care about?

If you want to come out, go ahead an tell people. There is a stigma associated with asexuality, but it isn't like the stigma associated with other sexual orientations. People might think that there is something wrong with you, since they couldn't imagine not wanting sex at all. Try to educate them, but if all else fails, ignore them. There is nothing wrong with being asexual.

I have an easier time dealing with conversations about sex. I tend to avoid them, but I have figured out how to talk about sex without seeming too strange. I can tell who is generally deemed attractive and who isn't, even though I'm not attracted to anyone. I think that being able to fit in can make your situation easier, but it certainly isn't for everyone.

You might want to talk to your friends about how their conversations make you feel, but before you do, think about how they may respond. If you aren't prepared for their responses, don't do it.

It might also be worth it to try to find different friends. There are people out there who, while not asexual, don't talk about sex all that much, and can respect your boundaries. It might be hard to find them, but they exist. Try to find people that you have something in common with.

I wish you luck. I know that it is definitely hard being asexual in such a sexualized world, but try to stay hopeful.

Couldn't have said it better myself...
I wish you luck as well!

[James Dean]

Understand that we as youth take pride in our sexualities and curiosities. Not everyone is asexual, and it's a very small population that is. We enjoy exploring yourself and learning new things about ourselves. I'm sorry you feel as though no one can relate with you. I would try to take it all with a grain of salt. Try to be optimistic and have a sense of humor about it. We all have things that may be second nature to other people, and a foreign to some. I know it's tough and you feel alone, make yourself a better person out of it.

Help those who you think are being too overboard about due to your neutral sexuality, or lack thereof. Hang in there. :)

[Karkat]

Some people don't like sex, some people don't like religion, some people don't like sports, some people don't like holidays.

I'm grey-asexual myself, but I'm sex-positive, and while sex at large disinterests me/I just am not a super sexual person myself, I enjoy talking about it to some extent. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality for the most part, and I just butt out of conversations I can't relate to. (Mostly ones that have to do with "isn't he/she SOOO hot? I'd fuck her in an instant!" I can't relate. I find women hot a fair portion of the time, there are a select few men I find attractive, but in large I'm just not able to relate. And this whole "boner upon first sight" thing really is out of my league. I can find someone hot and STILL find the thought of sleeping with them strange or foreign, and I'm not even a virgin.)

So while I can't relate to you on the sex thing for the most part, holidays? I don't like holidays. I've become more passive about it lately, but eeeeeeveryone would make a huge deal over me being Scrooge every year. :P People would walk by and go "bah humbug" or say it in class if I said something about it. (Ever meet an atheist who is very VERY against religion? That was me with holidays. Now I'm just more like "it's cool, but don't rope me into this shit".)

Talking about holidays used to aggravate the living hell out of me. Anyone who knew me knew to not wish me a happy birthday or anything. They were respectful of my distaste for it, and didn't really get all that offended that I didn't wish them happy holidays in return. (They knew I wished them goodwill anyways, it was just more like a militant atheist praying for a Christian.)

Some people hate sports, and they will make a big stink out of being bored/irritated if you try to discuss sports around them. Others hate religion, and WHOO BOY. I don't think I need to say more there. (Personally I like sports to some extent, and I'm mostly neutral about religion.)

So basically, the way I see it, you always have two options when discussion you don't like comes up. Or, rather, two appropriate options. ...Healthy options.

-Learn to let it go, and ignore the discussion, or excuse yourself from the conversation.
-Ask your friends to respect the fact that you don't want to be involved in these kinds of discussions because it bothers you. Some people just don't like talking about sex anyways- even people who do not identify on the asexual spectrum- and honestly, if your friends are going to be insistent on disrespecting your feelings, they're douchebags.

[Ben_Frost]

So basically, the way I see it, you always have two options when discussion you don't like comes up. Or, rather, two appropriate options. ...Healthy options.

-Learn to let it go, and ignore the discussion, or excuse yourself from the conversation.
-Ask your friends to respect the fact that you don't want to be involved in these kinds of discussions because it bothers you. Some people just don't like talking about sex anyways- even people who do not identify on the asexual spectrum- and honestly, if your friends are going to be insistent on disrespecting your feelings, they're douchebags.

Couldn't have been said any better, these are pretty much the two options you have when dealing with people who are entirely different from you and are insistent on pushing their conversation topics on everyone around them. Tough the latter option is more associated with much more peer pressure from my experience, I've found that both of them work, with much quicker results from the latter option.

[Buddy 912]

I am asexual. If you are unaware, asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to any gender or sex. Some asexuals are sex positive, some or sex indifferent, and some are sex repulsed. I'm one of the sex repulsed ones.

I'm also aromantic - I don't feel romantic attraction to others. I can still love people, but in a non-romantic way.

Right now, I'm still very much in the closet. No one else knows. That's not such a huge deal. I'm private anyway.

What is a big deal is what I go through at school. Everyone around me is talking about how "hot" that girl is, or how much one person wants to sleep with another person, or who did who under the bleachers.

These conversations make me feel sick. I literally want to vomit. I nearly cried when I found out one of my friends had had sex.

It takes a lot to get me that emotional.

Every time someone mentions sex in my presence, I want to hit him or her over the head with a chair. I can't stand this much longer. I'm going crazy.

What do I do?

For most people, it is a sexual world. When you meet people, you might say, "Let's not talk about sex, religion, and politics." It might be worth a try.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

You could always try what I do, pretend to listen while you're distracted by something else, like a bird grooming its feathers in the background. Of course, its not really a concious effort for me, I'm just a scatterbrain.