The lows of the low

[Gumleaf]

Just when I start to think for the most part i'm starting to get on top of things and getting myself together, I just get consumed by negativity, to the point where it breaks me and tears me to the core. People don't see it, I can hide it well. But that being said, nobody really ever asks me how I am anyways. Although one person did at church tonight, which was a nice thing, I could say 'not too bad, how are you?' with a smile on my face.


This is what my mind is telling me right now:

- You're worthless
- You're useless
- You're dumb
- You're ugly
- Anyone who you think cares, doesn't really
- you deserve nothing
- it's proven nobody loves you
- All efforts you put into anything is in vein
- And all these things are lonely


This is soul destroying stuff and I can't shake it. Worst still, i'm starting to believe it all. I'm just hurting so much and am totally alone. I don't think anyone gets it.

I don't have any question in this thread. But i'm at my wits end right now and had to get it out. I hope someone can understand?

[Uranus]

Hey man. It looks like your going through some rough times.
I've been there before.. It's tough. But you aren't worthless. To many people you are worth more than you know. And your not useless. You're not ugly. And people shouldn't judge people based on how they look, but rather who they are on the inside . People care about you for a reason. You deserve more than you think. We all do. You say nobody loves you.. Is that a relationship issue? If it is there are girls out there who don't care what you look like, or how good you are at anything because they will love you for who you are. I have went through this. And don't think you are not a good person. You're better than you may realize. If you want to talk about it, Pm me.

[CosmicNoodle]

Just read my PM

[ScottieDog]

I have had thoughts like that before (quite recently actually). The thoughts that people who seem to care don't really and that everyone is two faced. I know it's really tough and I struggle to sometimes but you have to concentrate on the positives. Like force yourself to sit down and think of the positive things that have happened in your life (write them down if you need). Also remind yourself of any time you were worried about doing badly, like in a test, and you actually did better than expected. Positive thoughts are great!

[Karkat]

I'm going through pretty much the same thing right now, so I can understand a lot of it. In fact, I was doing a little better about getting my shit together until yesterday. I just kind of... Hit a wall.

Anyways, since you weren't exactly looking for advice, and I don't really have any, sadly, I won't give any, but I will say that I totally understand, and if you ever need anyone to vent to, my PM box is always open. :) I hope things get better soon. :hug:

[Horatio Nelson]

I'm sorry to hear that Stephen. :(

Even though I may not be in your personal life, I care about how you are feeling. I'll be praying for you. :) I'm always open for a chat too.