The Secret Suicide Attempt [Trigger Warning]

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

By now, most of you are probably like
Will someone please go and chop this kid's fingers off so he'll stop thread spamming?!
Well, I promise that this will be my last post for the night...maybe.

This is a secret that I have kept from everyone, my parents, my therapists, even you VT, the place where I store all of my secrets. It happened just a month or two ago. Well, here goes...

One morning, my dad had gotten stressed and gone into one of his domestic abusive yelling and hitting fits again, and after a blow up directed exclusively at me, I felt that I'd had enough. If life meant having to deal with my hell bent father, and mother who loved her husband too much to call the cops, or at least knock some sense into him, life simply wouldn't be worth living anymore. Sobbing, I took my black and white puppy, Oreo, out into the side yard and fastened him to a chain. Then, I sat on the ground where noone could see me, and took my assumed to be final shaky breath. I took the chain that my puppy was fastened to and wrapped it around my neck multiple times. I closed my eyes and tugged as hard as I could until I could feel my windpipe beggining to collpse on itself. It took a full minute and ahalf for me to begin to feel light headed. And I had fastened the chain tight enough to where when I fell unconscious and stopped tugging, I would still be choked to death, but mysteriously, just as I began to reach the warm feeling of unconciousness, I stopped. Quickly, I unraveled the chain from around my neck and stood up, dizzy and extremely light headed from the suicide that almost was.

It feels good to get that off my chest.

[James Dean]

Very brave of you to share this with us. Sometimes you just have to let feelings out like this. In order to move on and achieve happiness in future events in life, you have to acknowledge past things which aren't always happy.

Suicide notes, attempts and things of that sort are tough and they really make it seem as though you lost. Thing is, you can rip the note up and throw it away, and you can see you are still living. We are all here to serve a purpose and we don't know what life has to offer for us. Hopefully it allowed you to not give up and see that it wasn't worth it. You aren't worth throwing away life like that. There are many people here, myself included who really care and support you. Don't worry about it, life is good and there are going to be ups and downs and try to love every minute of life. :)

[CosmicNoodle]

It tooka lot of brevery to even tell us this, well done, I've kept my sucide attempts secret to everyone except VT, I don't care who knows here, no one here can do anything about it so why hide? Anyway.
It always feel better to get things like that off your chest, I'm really glad you decided not to go through with it, your to nice to die. Have you thought about telling a doctor or your mother about this? Trust me, from personal experiance, it doens't do you any good keeping it pent up, it eats away at you. You can always come to VT if you ever feel the need, we're more than willing to help. PM me if you wanna', I know how it feels.

[Luminous]

Fighting and personal insults will not be tolerated in this thread. This is your final warning. If it continues, all those involved will receive infractions to their accounts.

[DeadEyes]

By now, most of you are probably like

Well, I promise that this will be my last post for the night...maybe.

This is a secret that I have kept from everyone, my parents, my therapists, even you VT, the place where I store all of my secrets. It happened just a month or two ago. Well, here goes...

One morning, my dad had gotten stressed and gone into one of his domestic abusive yelling and hitting fits again, and after a blow up directed exclusively at me, I felt that I'd had enough. If life meant having to deal with my hell bent father, and mother who loved her husband too much to call the cops, or at least knock some sense into him, life simply wouldn't be worth living anymore. Sobbing, I took my black and white puppy, Oreo, out into the side yard and fastened him to a chain. Then, I sat on the ground where noone could see me, and took my assumed to be final shaky breath. I took the chain that my puppy was fastened to and wrapped it around my neck multiple times. I closed my eyes and tugged as hard as I could until I could feel my windpipe beggining to collpse on itself. It took a full minute and ahalf for me to begin to feel light headed. And I had fastened the chain tight enough to where when I fell unconscious and stopped tugging, I would still be choked to death, but mysteriously, just as I began to reach the warm feeling of unconciousness, I stopped. Quickly, I unraveled the chain from around my neck and stood up, dizzy and extremely light headed from the suicide that almost was.

It feels good to get that off my chest.

It's hard to dare to go all the way, the survival instinct is really strong.
Think of it as a good thing you didn't, maybe you will be able to get some joy out of life now.

[Karkat]

It's really terrifying to get that far. I know, I've been there multiple times.

I'm just so glad that you stepped away, and tried to survive instead of letting yourself slip away. :) I hope things are going at least somewhat better for you now. Stay strong. <3

[Dalcourt]

It takes a lot of courage to admit that. I did something similar after a fight with my Dad once...I dunno if I would have stopped at my own or not ... my Dad came after me and found me. This also was something we kept between us and I never told my therapist.
It is good you stopped...even if life looks shit sometimes it's still worth trying it out longer.

[ScottieDog]

Well done on having the courage to tell that story, couldn't have been easy. I hope you find that life really is worth living, always has been and always will be :)

[Seafood]

Mate, that's amazing.