TheN3rdyOutcast
September 29th, 2014, 04:07 PM
I've probably posted something like this before, back when I was a noob looking for attention at any cost. But, the feeling has come to encroach upon me again, soo....yeah.
When I look through threads here, I see actual teenagers. The kind that aren't overly afraid to take risks, the kind who make adult decisions, the kind who can let all cation go to the wind and have a good fucking time.
...And then there's me. I'm 15 years young, a baby amongst the actual teens here. I'm to terrified to take risks, to nervous to make adult decisions and too socially awkward to let go and have a good time.
If I'm such a baby, why am I here? I can only relate to about half of all threads here. I don't drive, I've never drank, I've never been to a party, I've never kissed anyone, I've never had sex, I've never gone out on a date. In short, I feel like I've never lived a day in my life. Sometimes, I feel as if I'll be one of those miserable people who live a life of mediocrity and monotony until they finally get sick of it all and hang themselves with a belt in their rundown apartment.
I severely doubt you've read the whole thing, and if you have, I commend you on your patience with an emotionally unstable loser.
My question: How do I feel alive? Because I feel as if I stepped out of ths womb, directly into the grave, and was reanimated to live my life as a joyless zombie.
When I look through threads here, I see actual teenagers. The kind that aren't overly afraid to take risks, the kind who make adult decisions, the kind who can let all cation go to the wind and have a good fucking time.
...And then there's me. I'm 15 years young, a baby amongst the actual teens here. I'm to terrified to take risks, to nervous to make adult decisions and too socially awkward to let go and have a good time.
If I'm such a baby, why am I here? I can only relate to about half of all threads here. I don't drive, I've never drank, I've never been to a party, I've never kissed anyone, I've never had sex, I've never gone out on a date. In short, I feel like I've never lived a day in my life. Sometimes, I feel as if I'll be one of those miserable people who live a life of mediocrity and monotony until they finally get sick of it all and hang themselves with a belt in their rundown apartment.
I severely doubt you've read the whole thing, and if you have, I commend you on your patience with an emotionally unstable loser.
My question: How do I feel alive? Because I feel as if I stepped out of ths womb, directly into the grave, and was reanimated to live my life as a joyless zombie.