Sooooooooooooo.

[Remora]

I just went on a rampage, furiously sticking knives in everything in my sisters' room, carving the walls, cutting her posters, throwing her stuff around.

What the fuck am i supposed to do now. At the time i were rampaging, i found myself able to kill her, but i'm rather certain that she's going to feel the same about me when she finds out what i did.

And the fact i destroyed huge parts of her posters and the walls aren't that much of a problem. I mean, you can buy posters again? right? or just print them..

But a female friend of her and my older sisters died in a car accident and she wrote something on that wall before that accident.
I carved right trough.
I trespassed hallowed grounds and everyone is going to hate me when they find out. I don't know what i'm going to have to do.

I'm still furious at her. I had to toss my knife onto the roof because i was afraid i would use it against her.

Just, what the fuck did i get myself into? How am i going to get myself... out of it?

[Magenta]

First of all, it sounds like you need some anger management counselling. Because that is not an acceptable way to deal with one's anger by any means. You've both destroyed your sister's property and your parents' (the walls themselves) and you're going to have to face the consequences of that. We all threw temper tantrums when we were five (I'm not saying that to belittle you) but if we haven't learned how to control that by the age of 15, that's when help comes in.

It's not that you just destroyed stuff. Yeah, posters can be replaced. She'll always have the memory of what was written on that wall. But you severely intruded upon her privacy and took what should be a safe space for someone and tore it apart.

You owe your sister an apology. No matter what she did or how you felt, that's not how to take it out. Take the consequences and don't make excuses for it. You got yourself into this mess and it's your responsibility to handle that fact maturely and offer to do whatever you can to remedy it. Offer to pay for the damages. Seriously apologise to your sister. Get rid of that knife once and for all and start looking into counselling and therapy options if you're not seeing someone already. You need to be taught a healthy outlet for that anger.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, the fallout is not gonna be pretty. So you need to be the one to step up and say yes, I majorly fucked up but here's what I'm going to do about it now.

When I was your age, I put my foot through my dad's windshield because I was angry. And yeah, I got help because that was not acceptable behaviour from a teenager. And I paid for it. Best you can do now is be mature about it, take whatever punishment is coming, move on, and do your best to make sure it never happens again.

[Remora]

This is the first time i ever went on a rampage. :$ Right now i'm still trying to revert everything.

The reason i did this was mostly the stacked up anger from the past fourteen years. Because she's acted like a dick to me for all that time and today she did something that really got me mad. :$

Right now she's just sitting on the couch downstairs, she hasn't been upstairs yet (nor has anyone else) so she doesn't know that i did it. I tried hinting her to it and i really don't want to directly tell her "hey, i fucked up your room, is that okay?"

[Magenta]

That doesn't mean you shouldn't get help for it. If you have that much anger you're going to release in a potentially dangerous way, you need to talk to someone about that.

It's gonna suck but I'd just tell someone. Better to just take responsibility so you can start working toward righting it.

[Remora]

I'm slowly turning into a fucking lunatic. Nobody is home and i've been plotting how to kill either my sister or myself and i've had these insane plans of killing everyone in their sleep and right now i just locked myself in my room like a idiot.

i need help

[Magenta]

If you feel you are in crisis at this moment, call your local crisis hotline or 911. You're more than welcome to ask for help here but if you think you're a danger to yourself or others, your best bet is to call for help. You already know you need it, the next step is asking for it.

[Triceratops]

You better go and apologise to your sister because I think anyone would be really pissed off if they had their room completely trashed. I know I would be raging.

What you did was extremely wrong and inappropriate and you need to face the music, there is no way of "getting out of it". The same way criminals vandalise, abuse or use violence against other people, they must realise the hostile nature of their actions and therefore deal with the consequences. Seek immediate professional help if you believe you are a danger to others and yourself (from what you've described, you most likely are) otherwise something much more severe could potentially happen in the future.

[Remora]

This was "simply" the frustration of 14 years erupting, not so much for the last thing she did but how she "apologized".

Now- this might just be "15 year old PC gaming addict" talk, but anyways, she did certain things and got me banned on my favorite server, one that i had newly gotten the rank of administrator on and had been playing on for a year already. I left the game open when i went playing Hulk for my oldest sister (she was moving out and needed me to carry all the stuff) and after that three of my small neighbor kids came at my door and wanted to play with me (i can't refuse them- just look at their faces), the game still open. It turned out that in meanwhile my sister was doing her thingies there and got me permanently banned (and so, demoted). So that initial happening wasn't *that* much of a deal. I could make a ban appeal, or just find a new server. (okay it was but i dont want to sound addicted). But the way she decided to tell me- that is, she hopped on her bike, said "Hey i played your game but now i'm disconnected from the server *laugh*" and got the fuck out of there because she saw i was getting "a bit" angry.

The two hours she was gone was enough time for me to "take my revenge" and just get rid of all the frustration of the past few years.

And i still didn't feel guilt when she was "punishing" me, telling how i was "invading her privacy" (using my PC isn't invading my privacy?), how i "damaged her stuff" (because getting me permanently banned from my favorite server isn't damaging my stuff?) and "what if i really cared about those posters" (well guess again, i cared alot about that fucking server).

Then my mother came, and for some reason, she didn't punish me so much- all she did was make me promise i'd help getting the walls (that i carved) fixed and she forced me and my sister into a friendly conversation. My sister always tends to crack up jokes in "forced conversations" as a manner of escape and she did one and we hugged and it was all okay. c:

[Triceratops]

This was "simply" the frustration of 14 years erupting, not so much for the last thing she did but how she "apologized".

Now- this might just be "15 year old PC gaming addict" talk, but anyways, she did certain things and got me banned on my favorite server, one that i had newly gotten the rank of administrator on and had been playing on for a year already. I left the game open when i went playing Hulk for my oldest sister (she was moving out and needed me to carry all the stuff) and after that three of my small neighbor kids came at my door and wanted to play with me (i can't refuse them- just look at their faces), the game still open. It turned out that in meanwhile my sister was doing her thingies there and got me permanently banned (and so, demoted). So that initial happening wasn't *that* much of a deal. I could make a ban appeal, or just find a new server. (okay it was but i dont want to sound addicted). But the way she decided to tell me- that is, she hopped on her bike, said "Hey i played your game but now i'm disconnected from the server *laugh*" and got the fuck out of there because she saw i was getting "a bit" angry.

The two hours she was gone was enough time for me to "take my revenge" and just get rid of all the frustration of the past few years.

And i still didn't feel guilt when she was "punishing" me, telling how i was "invading her privacy" (using my PC isn't invading my privacy?), how i "damaged her stuff" (because getting me permanently banned from my favorite server isn't damaging my stuff?) and "what if i really cared about those posters" (well guess again, i cared alot about that fucking server).

Then my mother came, and for some reason, she didn't punish me so much- all she did was make me promise i'd help getting the walls (that i carved) fixed and she forced me and my sister into a friendly conversation. My sister always tends to crack up jokes in "forced conversations" as a manner of escape and she did one and we hugged and it was all okay. c:

Okay so she annoyed you, it still doesn't warrant this from your original post:

I had to toss my knife onto the roof because i was afraid i would use it against her.

Especially as something petty as a PC game which you probably won't even care about soon enough. That really isn't a way to deal with your emotions and you need to learn to cope with your aggression a lot better.