Older BF

[rachel_ballet]

My BF is a lot older than me. Not gonna say his age, but he has his drivers license, a car, and a job.
He always says that he understands that I am not ready to have sex.
But then we get playing around, and he always wants to go further and further. We do some things that I'm not gonna say on here, and then always wants more. He's never tried to force me into anything, but he gets persistent.
After saying "no" several times, he does give up, but seems a little upset.
He says he doesn't have any STDs and that he'll use protection, It's not that I don't believe him, I'm just not ready to have sex, and what if something does happen and I get pregnant! I don't need that right now.
He's a great guy, and he treats me like a princess. I'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience, and, if so, how did you handle it?
Is it just cause he's an older guy and expects more? Or am I being a tease by playing around?

[Magenta]

You're not being a tease by saying no because you're not ready to go all the way. The little things are easy, going all the way is hard because, especially as a girl, you know all the risks. And it's perfectly understandable to not be ready.

Yes, because he's older, he could expect more. Or he's being, well, a guy.

The good thing is: he stops when you say no. The bad thing is: he doesn't stop right away. If he ever stops listening or starts treating you like you should be having sex with him whether you want to or not, leave him. Because that's not okay.

It's hard to tell you more without knowing how much of an age gap there is or whatnot but when it comes down to it, just make sure he's respecting your boundaries and if he ever stops doing that, he's not as great as he may seem. You're the one in charge of your body and what you do with it, whether you only play around or not.

[ChrisTJ]

I think I am heading in a similar direction to you honey. This guy I'm seeing (it's complicated but we're not really a couple yet) is quite a bit older than I am. Thankfully he seems to be really sweet and not the type to force sexual stuff.

If he stops when you tell him to then that's good. You just need to explain to him that you're a little younger than he is and at your stage in life you don't want to be doing ceratin things that girls his age might be doing. If he wants to date you he just needs to understand, it;s at your pace. Good luck from another lover of older guys ;)

[Antione69]

Hi, being a guy I understand how we can think with the wrong head at times especially when were looking for that release. But at the same time a real man is going to want you to be comfortable and ready for any type of sexual relationship. And your not being a tease he should be grateful for what you do give him and respect your decision for real. Hope this helps from a guys point of view.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

You do realize that if you do have...intercourse, it would be considered statuatory rape, which could get your BF put away for a long time...

Honestly, I think this guy may be trying to take advantage of you, and I would be careful if he ever offers you any drinks. You never know if he may try to slip a roofie into your drink to loosen your inhibitions about sex.

[Cognizant]

My last relationship was a bit of a reversal of yours. My previous "boyfriend" (we only dated for like 3 weeks tops) was a lot younger than me - I'm a senior and he's a sophomore. All he would ever talk about was sex, constantly tried to have sex with me, and be "understanding" (but slightly upset) when I would say "no, I'm not comfortable doing it with you."

I honestly can't tell if he's genuinely respecting you and your decision to abstain from sex, or if he's just being a catfish in hopes that you'll change your mind. Unfortunately for me, my ex was the latter type. He would've completely fooled me, too, if I didn't get the hotline from my friends. So I guess I would dig around, if possible. Pay close attention to how he acts when the subject of sex comes up. If you suspect that he's just trying to get in your pants, you have every right to break up with him because thats not cool at all.

[soft]

I have had a bf almost 3 times older than me. It started when i was 13 and it was me who went after him. I dont know, but there was something which pulled me towards him. He was married and has kids my age. He tried convincing me that i am too young to have sex with him but i still forced him.

[James Dean]

This is why usually age differences in relationships might be strange. His life experiences and what his views on relationships and love, might be different from yours. From what you mentioned, it seems that you do infact love him, however there might be other problems that might be a big factor. He should respect you when you don't feel comfortable doing something. It's your body and you shouldn't do something that you aren't comfortable with. You just have to set some things straight.