Polo2847
September 24th, 2014, 01:48 AM
Okay so I have a guy friend, we talk pretty much everyday. The thing is, before I had a crush on him, I had a crush on a girl (mutual friends, all 3 of us), and he was the first person I told that I liked her because he knew her too (I was looking for signs). Now that she had left for Japan (yes, I'd confessed but her reaction was "idk"), I kinda think my friend is cute/adorable, but I do not feel the same way towards him as I did to the girl.
With the girl, I could stay with her, and not have sex if she didn't want to. I had slight, but not strong sexual desires. I was happy to see her, always dressed to look good for her, and just happy being around her and socializing. We had a lot of things in common, and got along, made me felt like I need to self-improve; she makes me feel immature and childish. When I think about her and our experiences together, my chest hurts, worry that I won't find someone else. I was really shy with skinship with her.
With the guy, I could hug him, and I want to hug him tight and for a long time. I do have sexual desires for him. I am happy to see him, and try to dress casual/nice, but I never had a strong desire to "dress-to-impress" as I did with the girl. We don't have a lot of things in common, which makes him interesting, but we do get along, he likes to tease and make fun of me though. He's caring to others, and does me make me feel like I need to self-improve; he makes me feel selfish. I did tell him I liked him, but he sounded like he took it as a joke "because we're both guys." I feel like I'm initiating bromance conversations about love with him, trying to get advice, even though he's never been in a relationship.
I'm not sure what "bromance" is, or is this love? Maybe they're both love, just different types of expression? I dont know if I'm confused/curious/bisexual? To me, guys feel like playtoys, while I can see myself marrying and dating a girl.
With the girl, I could stay with her, and not have sex if she didn't want to. I had slight, but not strong sexual desires. I was happy to see her, always dressed to look good for her, and just happy being around her and socializing. We had a lot of things in common, and got along, made me felt like I need to self-improve; she makes me feel immature and childish. When I think about her and our experiences together, my chest hurts, worry that I won't find someone else. I was really shy with skinship with her.
With the guy, I could hug him, and I want to hug him tight and for a long time. I do have sexual desires for him. I am happy to see him, and try to dress casual/nice, but I never had a strong desire to "dress-to-impress" as I did with the girl. We don't have a lot of things in common, which makes him interesting, but we do get along, he likes to tease and make fun of me though. He's caring to others, and does me make me feel like I need to self-improve; he makes me feel selfish. I did tell him I liked him, but he sounded like he took it as a joke "because we're both guys." I feel like I'm initiating bromance conversations about love with him, trying to get advice, even though he's never been in a relationship.
I'm not sure what "bromance" is, or is this love? Maybe they're both love, just different types of expression? I dont know if I'm confused/curious/bisexual? To me, guys feel like playtoys, while I can see myself marrying and dating a girl.