Edward V
September 23rd, 2014, 05:34 PM
I'll skip the introduction and go to streight to the subject.
I'm 20 y/o and for a year I have suffer of depresion. It's get worse every month. I lost intrest in everything, I'm exhausted all day long, I lost every piece of self respect left in me, I feel worthless, hopeless and all I want is to forget everything. I'm too tired of living too scared of dying.
I tryed to get help but my parents don't give a damn about this, they just tell me to get over it and cut it out with these non-senses. Everyday I'm hardly criticized for what I do or not do. Everyday I hear this sentence "you are good for nothing". I tryed to calm down, to get over it but I can't. Everyday I'm pushed to the limits. Every night I'm crying alone in the darkness and then I fall asleep. I can't see myself in the future, there is only fog and darkness. I'm just living the moment filled with agony, hatred and sadness. I feel tired all day, laying in bed with headphones pluged in with a soundtrack full of agony and hatred (The Agonist, Arch Enemy). It's the only way to feel less alone. It's all started when I failed the exams and everyone got insane, specially my parents. Since then, the depression got intensified harder and harder every month. Now here I am, hopeless, in a dark room with cold walls, screaming for help and no one here for me.
I have a few friends but they are busy all day. I'm feeling impossibly alone.
I would go to psychiatrist but I have no money and my family won't support me.
My only dream that i have left is to wake up in a hospital, somewhere really far away with no memory of last 20 years. I just want to start over, somewhere really far away.
I'm 20 y/o and for a year I have suffer of depresion. It's get worse every month. I lost intrest in everything, I'm exhausted all day long, I lost every piece of self respect left in me, I feel worthless, hopeless and all I want is to forget everything. I'm too tired of living too scared of dying.
I tryed to get help but my parents don't give a damn about this, they just tell me to get over it and cut it out with these non-senses. Everyday I'm hardly criticized for what I do or not do. Everyday I hear this sentence "you are good for nothing". I tryed to calm down, to get over it but I can't. Everyday I'm pushed to the limits. Every night I'm crying alone in the darkness and then I fall asleep. I can't see myself in the future, there is only fog and darkness. I'm just living the moment filled with agony, hatred and sadness. I feel tired all day, laying in bed with headphones pluged in with a soundtrack full of agony and hatred (The Agonist, Arch Enemy). It's the only way to feel less alone. It's all started when I failed the exams and everyone got insane, specially my parents. Since then, the depression got intensified harder and harder every month. Now here I am, hopeless, in a dark room with cold walls, screaming for help and no one here for me.
I have a few friends but they are busy all day. I'm feeling impossibly alone.
I would go to psychiatrist but I have no money and my family won't support me.
My only dream that i have left is to wake up in a hospital, somewhere really far away with no memory of last 20 years. I just want to start over, somewhere really far away.