Fallen_Eagle
September 23rd, 2014, 08:47 AM
wow, it's been a while since I last posted here! lots of stuff has been going on, and it's really getting to me.
See, there's this thing I really need to vent about...
I met a really sweet girl online a few months ago and we've been good friends since, but that kinda changed when I at some point found myself having feelings for her. I broke up with the girl I was with because I couldn't keep dating one person and loving another, obviously.
I though I could keep it to myself, but I felt like I had to confess to her because I simply couldn't stand hiding it another day! It kept me up at night.
So I confessed to her, and what do you know? She really liked me, too.
For about 2 days I felt an amazing rush of euphoria, unlike anything I've ever felt before. I thought this was the first time I'd felt real love!
I couldn't believe my luck. For the first time in my life, I felt real happiness.
...But at some point I began to feel anxious. I felt like I was starting to lose interest again, just like during my previous relationship. Or at least, I was afraid that was the case, and I still am. I've always gotten a lot of thrill from chasing and flirting with my female friends, especially when I genuinely fancy one. I fear that now that I've actually GOT her, my passion is starting to slip away. I cannot accept that, because I feel like this girl is my soul mate, and I don't want to let her go. She's visiting me in a few months, to which I was looking forward a lot. But now, all I can feel is despair and fear of having to let go of a girl I thought I really, really loved, only because she loves me too.
That makes no sense at all, right?
I really don't understand why this is happening...
I'd like to know what you people think is going on with me, and if you've ever experienced or at least heard of something like this before.
Am I overthinking it because I still feel guilty and surprised about losing interest in my ex?
Is even wise for me to try and fix the mess I made in my head, or should I just leave her now before things get really serious?
Do this lack of euphoria and this sudden anxiety even mean anything?
Help would be much appreciated o v o'
sorry if this was tough to read, by the way. thanks for reading it anyway, though : )
See, there's this thing I really need to vent about...
I met a really sweet girl online a few months ago and we've been good friends since, but that kinda changed when I at some point found myself having feelings for her. I broke up with the girl I was with because I couldn't keep dating one person and loving another, obviously.
I though I could keep it to myself, but I felt like I had to confess to her because I simply couldn't stand hiding it another day! It kept me up at night.
So I confessed to her, and what do you know? She really liked me, too.
For about 2 days I felt an amazing rush of euphoria, unlike anything I've ever felt before. I thought this was the first time I'd felt real love!
I couldn't believe my luck. For the first time in my life, I felt real happiness.
...But at some point I began to feel anxious. I felt like I was starting to lose interest again, just like during my previous relationship. Or at least, I was afraid that was the case, and I still am. I've always gotten a lot of thrill from chasing and flirting with my female friends, especially when I genuinely fancy one. I fear that now that I've actually GOT her, my passion is starting to slip away. I cannot accept that, because I feel like this girl is my soul mate, and I don't want to let her go. She's visiting me in a few months, to which I was looking forward a lot. But now, all I can feel is despair and fear of having to let go of a girl I thought I really, really loved, only because she loves me too.
That makes no sense at all, right?
I really don't understand why this is happening...
I'd like to know what you people think is going on with me, and if you've ever experienced or at least heard of something like this before.
Am I overthinking it because I still feel guilty and surprised about losing interest in my ex?
Is even wise for me to try and fix the mess I made in my head, or should I just leave her now before things get really serious?
Do this lack of euphoria and this sudden anxiety even mean anything?
Help would be much appreciated o v o'
sorry if this was tough to read, by the way. thanks for reading it anyway, though : )