littlebirdies11
September 22nd, 2014, 01:26 AM
I don't even know if I'm posting in the right section but I don't know what to do right now. I'm 15 and I'm homeschooled. I have absolutely no friends and the reason I became homeschooled was because I was being bullied at my school. People think that I'm really shy and it annoys me when they say that because I'm really not. I'm so paranoid and every time I talk to someone new or talk to anyone I don't know that well, everything in my head explodes and I feel like everything I say is so stupid and I look stupid. I constantly sit at home and worry about everything. I'm too embarrassed to play any sports or anything like that because I'm horrible at everything. I don't have any social media because I hate looking at pictures of myself and I'm afraid of what people will think of what i might post. I can't take it anymore. I don't have any family members to talk to. We all pretty much keep to ourselves. I'm a girl and for the past few years everything has been on and off. One year I'm really happy, next year everything is horrible. But the past 2 years have been horrible. I had a huge problem with food last year and never told anyone. I hardly ever ate and I passed out on the floor one time and that scared me, so then I started bingeing. I do it almost every night now without throwing it up and I've gained a ton of weight which has made me extremely self conscious, even more than before. I don't know what to do. I'm really lazy, I sit around all the time besides doing my school work. I have no energy and no life. I'm so anxious and I don't know what to do. I also used to think I heard voices, and one time almost tried suicide in 8th grade. But I'm over all of that because I no that it is not a good solution to things:confused:. But really I feel like I have no point to life. I'm such a bother to my family and all i ever want to do is eat. Please help me.