Mom has to be involved with everythg school?

[Drummer Ben]

I'm a senior now and she won't mind her business at all. She aphas to see all the homework I have that night, she waits as I do it. If I don't do it she does even though I tell her not do she says she's not letting me fail. She's always freaking out saying I'm a loser and a disgrace, that I'm failing, I don't try in school yet every year I get get by with all A's & B's. I'm 18 now and tell her that school must be my own responcibility and that that's how I learn in life and she still yells at me everyday. I basically tell her to screw off when she's yelling those things at me. I don't have my license yet so she still picks , but when she does at the end of the day she wants to know every little detail of what happened. She gets mad when I tell her one wrong thing. She tells me I bet you $1000 your will not go to college. Again I tell her to screw off. She's been doing this my whole school year because she has this obsession that everyone of her kids must be perfect. It tell her would you rather have me out smoking crack with my friends and she tells me not to threaten her. I say it's not a threat I can move out next year. I just feel why do I still have to have my mom thrash me everyday about everything. She has no faith or trust in me at all. If I'm getting b's that's no good enough for her. If I'm getting a's she's never happy. She just a demands more more more like a taxman. Makes it awfully hard to live my own life being constantly forced to worry about school. No she won't let me pursue any of my hobbies during the school year. The summer is the only free time I have. Does anyelse have parents like this?

[Dying Ember]

I have parents a bit like this. Not quite as bad though. To be honest, I think your mum is being horrible. Its not good for your mental health either. I know what it's like, constantly worrying about the grades I get because what I do never seems to be good enough. Its not fun all. I'm not really sure what advice to give... You could try speaking to someone about it maybe?

[ImagineRepublicCity]

I understand, hey, that sounds pretty shit, but I'm not here to go all "Oh yeah, that's happened to me too. This happened, and this and this" because it was different for me. Some things you can try:

Sit down and talk to her? It sounds like you do so already, but possibly if you maybe try going out to a cafe, let her know you're capable of doing things and that the only way you'll be able to become independent is to treat you like an adult. Let her know "I know you care for me, and I understand I am your son, but I do want to be able to do things myself. I understand you want me to do well, but I want to be able to do xx" Something like that.

Don't blame her and don't blame yourself. It's a thing a lot of people do. Either people don't admit they're wrong or they think they're the problem. I think possibly the thing with this is acting assertive. Don't tell her "Fuck off I'm 18" because that'll annoy her. Don't just go with it either, because it's passive. Just like the way I worded it.

Not only so, but if that doesn't work, it sounds like shit, but it isn't. Family counseling works for some families. It lets you talk about some things, lay some boundaries and sometimes sort things out.

She's only looking out for you, but she may think that what she's doing for you is good. Sometimes repeating the message will help.

[Drummer Ben]

Thanks!, she actually broke down about a week ago explaining it to me that she can't stand to see me grow up, and she doesn't want me to move out and grow older and she lashes out because of it. She still wishes I was 9. She never admitted that something was her fault. We made great revelations but it still bugs the crap out of me that she won't let me go and experience life.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

So are things still the same or has it died down a bit?

[Drummer Ben]

Kind of the same. It's my 18th birthday today and she won't talk to me. First year she didn't wish me a happy birthday. She definitely doesn't like the fact I'm 18 years old and growing up. Up until about a year ago she controlled how I dressed, style of my hair, activities I could partake in. Now that I'm growing my hair long and actually taking things into my own hands she's a wreck. She wants me to stay a baby my whole life. She even told me today that it's not about you about me giving birth to you. She was mad because I would't go out to eat with everyone. To my defense I am sick right now.

In a twisted way though I'm glad things are like this now. I'm glad not to get presents. I appreciated it but it was always random unseeded things. Now that I'm getting a job I can afford to buy my own things. I was sick of relying on my parents for everything. Now that I prepare my own food, handle school on my own it feels a lot better. My mom might not like it but it's reality. I'll probably be moving into an apartment next year. Split the cost with a friend.

[Buddy 912]

Your mom is probably trying to do good. But too much of a good thing is not good at times.

[SethfromMI]

I am very sorry. your mother sounds like she has a horrible need to be in control of everything. part of it maybe she wants to see you do your best but doesn't know how to show it. I know a lot of times the way parents act towards us is the way their parents treated them. so she really may not have learned any better. try talking to her and be honest with her. also realize you are almost at the point where you will soon to be able to move out. try to keep calm and realize if she is not going to change, then there is still light at the end of the tunnel

[Wyatt 13]

My dad sometimes is bugging me in a way I really feel suffocated. Once I learned to tell him that I love what he is doing for us and that seems to work keeping him calm.

[cbm89031]

Talk to your mom and tell her how you feel

[Semi_IronMan]

That's horrible... You own mom calling u a loser instead of motivating you. I think u should draw the line for and tell her to back off