Weird situation

[Dennis98]

I have few questions about my situation

-These days I am really considering to change my name ( Dennis ) , because I am Muslim , and I should have real Muslim name , not some International ... Situation in my family is really weird , my father is Montenegrin Muslim but my mom is Croatian Roman Catholic ... So , because of situation they gave me that name ( I consider it more Christian ) . So after I was born , my parents did and still are arguing about me .. They didnt force us to be Christians or Muslims , they wanted to we choose ... So , my elder sister consider herself like Muslim ( Dad win ) , so that was not nothing to my mom ... Me , like male and family successor , she kept up all hopes that I will become Christian ... But , eventually I choose to be Muslim ... Religious holidays in our house are never celebrating due the situation ... They even didnt want to circumcise me , but due the phimosis they have to ... I know that my parents are good and they are loving each other since day they met ( they met in high school ) ... But , after all these my mom lost her final hope - me ... Everyday , I can see that she is not same like 2 years ago ( Day I finally choose to be Muslim , and I told them ) , I mean she is same on everything , but when I talk with her I can see that she is beaten inside , in her soul ... After they circumcised me last year , I can see it more and more ... Few days ago she talked with me about puberty ( my parents are really open to talk about anything ) , and she asked me about my sensitivity after they cut me , and she recommended me to try FORESKIN RESTORATION , I thought about it , because I have something like Semi - circumcision with left frenulum , so basically foreskin is somewhere on the middle of my glans , and I really thought about it , I mean , I really miss my foreskin , because they cut me when I was 14 , but still , there is religion , and I like more my religion proud than some feelings , and talked with me about girls , she told me to I should watch Christian girls too ... I mean , I can see that she is beaten inside ... It goes like , when we eat , my father always talk some nebula like , may God save and live my Muslim son and daughter and this Muslim family , and some stuff like that ... And worst is , he look her in her eyes with somewhat ironic , and she always stop to eat and goes cry , or lock doors in her room , I know this sounds like marriage near divorce , but they still love each other and I can see it ... It is not only my dad doing , sometimes she call her sisters and talk about converting me into Christianity and stuff like that while my dad is home ... So , what would you do in my situation , I mean how should I balance between Islam and Christianity , how should I balance between dad and mom ? And on the end , what the fu** am I , Muslim or Christian , because I am confused for Gods sake ...

[Living For Love]

I understand how your situation can be difficult, with two conflicting religions in the same family. I think you're entitled to choose the religion you want without having your parents' pressure, if you chose to be a Muslim, then your family should support you and accept your decision, since you're already grown up enough to know what following a religion comprises. It's not like if you're Christian you'll love your mother more than your father, or if you're a Muslim you'll love your father more than your mother, it's just a decision you made, it shouldn't have so much implications as it's having right now. And, on the other hand, your mother shouldn't love you less just because your Muslim and not a Christian. Try to explain that to your family, make them realise your family bonds will and should stay the same, regardless of your beliefs.

[Plane And Simple]

ROTW :arrow: Family & Friends

[Left Now]

These days I am really considering to change my name ( Dennis ) , because I am Muslim , and I should have real Muslim name , not some International

Well,first of anything else my friend,you don't necessarily need to have a Islamic name to be a Muslim,since Islam is not limited to nationalities or races (who has to told you that you must change your name?).

Situation in my family is really weird , my father is Montenegrin Muslim but my mom is Croatian Roman Catholic ...So , because of situation they gave me that name ( I consider it more Christian )

I still don't understand why you want to change your name!


So after I was born , my parents did and still are arguing about me ..

Arguing about your religion?

They didnt force us to be Christians or Muslims , they wanted to we choose ... So , my elder sister consider herself like Muslim ( Dad win ) , so that was not nothing to my mom ... Me , like male and family successor , she kept up all hopes that I will become Christian ... But , eventually I choose to be Muslim

Well,let me ask you a few questions:

1.Why did you say "Dad win" when your sister began to consider herself as a Muslim?

2.Are you sure that you want to choose Islam as your religion or you haven't decided yet?I mean have you researched and studied about it?


Religious holidays in our house are never celebrating due the situation ... They even didnt want to circumcise me , but due the phimosis they have to ... I know that my parents are good and they are loving each other since day they met ( they met in high school ) ... But , after all these my mom lost her final hope - me ... Everyday , I can see that she is not same like 2 years ago ( Day I finally choose to be Muslim , and I told them ) , I mean she is same on everything , but when I talk with her I can see that she is beaten inside , in her soul

Have you ever tried to talk with her about it?


After they circumcised me last year , I can see it more and more ... Few days ago she talked with me about puberty ( my parents are really open to talk about anything ) , and she asked me about my sensitivity after they cut me , and she recommended me to try FORESKIN RESTORATION , I thought about it , because I have something like Semi - circumcision with left frenulum , so basically foreskin is somewhere on the middle of my glans , and I really thought about it ,

...


I mean , I really miss my foreskin , because they cut me when I was 14 , but still , there is religion , and I like more my religion proud than some feelings

Well,as I know circumcision is not necessary in Islam,it's just recommended because of the protection which it will give you against genital diseases and reducing chances of genital cancers.

However,it's still your choice if you want to be circumcised or not and it has nothing to do with your being Muslim,because it's not necessary in Islam.

and talked with me about girls , she told me to I should watch Christian girls too

What do you mean she has told you you have to watch Christian girls too?


I mean , I can see that she is beaten inside ... It goes like , when we eat , my father always talk some nebula like , may God save and live my Muslim son and daughter and this Muslim family , and some stuff like that

Well,what your father does is not appropriate at all.I mean he shouldn't act like this when he knows your mother is sensitive about it.You'd better talk about this situation with your father and tell him this is not right to bother your mother like this.


And worst is , he look her in her eyes with somewhat ironic , and she always stop to eat and goes cry , or lock doors in her room

The thing which I said above.

I know this sounds like marriage near divorce , but they still love each other and I can see it ... It is not only my dad doing , sometimes she call her sisters and talk about converting me into Christianity and stuff like that while my dad is home ... So , what would you do in my situation , I mean how should I balance between Islam and Christianity , how should I balance between dad and mom ? And on the end , what the fu** am I , Muslim or Christian , because I am confused for Gods sake ...

First of all,I think your father should change the way he behaves with your mother,because it's not right.Try to reason with him and convince him not to act like this anymore,I'm sure that he will listen to you.

Second,if you really want to be a Muslim,then try to reason with your mother too.You know in fact I don't understand what all these arguments are for when you say they haven't forced anything on you.

And at the end,what do you mean that you are confused about your being Muslim or Christian?Actually I mean why do you think you are confused?

[Broken Toy]

It seems a little silly to change your name when Dennis isn't a catholic name to start with and Islam doesn't regulate their names. It just so happens if you're from a muslim family you're more likely to be named a religious name (Mohammed being the most common). You should keep your name and be happy to challenge the stereotype

[Dennis98]

Well,first of anything else my friend,you don't necessarily need to have a Islamic name to be a Muslim,since Islam is not limited to nationalities or races (who has to told you that you must change your name?).

-I mean , it sounds pretty gross when you meet the Muslim with fu**ing name DENNIS ... I mean , what kind of name is that , Dennis , I hate it ... I usually tell people only my nickname , so they cant hear my shameful name , that hasnt anything mutual with Islam ...

I still don't understand why you want to change your name!

-I explained ...

Arguing about your religion?

-I mean , both are trying to make me man on their ways ... My dad thinks that I should be real Muslim , not secular as I consider myself . On other side is mom that thinks that I should be Catholic or at least Atheist ...

Well,let me ask you a few questions:

1.Why did you say "Dad win" when your sister began to consider herself as a Muslim?

-1 - Because it is like game ... They were competing who will become Christian or Muslim ... So , my sister choose to be Muslim ... So it was win for my dad , only hope for my mom were I ... Irony is that my sister wears hijab ... So , it was one more for my dad ...

2.Are you sure that you want to choose Islam as your religion or you haven't decided yet?I mean have you researched and studied about it?

-2- I choose it few years ago ... I read Quran , read religious books etc ... But , I only dont pray ... I mean , I do everything like Muslim , I have read Bible once , but not because of situation , it was because my curiosity , differences and similarities between those two ...


Have you ever tried to talk with her about it?

-No , but I am good psychologist , I can see and feel it ...


...




Well,as I know circumcision is not necessary in Islam,it's just recommended because of the protection which it will give you against genital diseases and reducing chances of genital cancers.

-I know , but after all those years , you just cant get used to that condition ...

However,it's still your choice if you want to be circumcised or not and it has nothing to do with your being Muslim,because it's not necessary in Islam.

-I know that also , but they done me something like Semi circumcision because of phimosis .. Mom was totally against my circumcision , based on her stories , uncircumcised is better , and all like positive things in superlative about uncircumcised condition ... Even when I told them that I have phimosis , she was still against it .. She told me like that I should practice and everything will be fine ... My dad used that situation , because she was stopping him to circumcise me , but he had strong reason and chance that he waited so long , and so , they cut me ...

What do you mean she has told you you have to watch Christian girls too?

-I never had some serious relationship , like some girlfriend for some long time .. Only short relationships , but that were only Muslim girls .... I didnt chose them on religion , I mean it is not important to me religion for now , because this is just young time , for marriage I will probably choose Muslim woman , because I dont want to my children be in situation as mine is now .. So she said , that I should hang out more with Christian girls ...


Well,what your father does is not appropriate at all.I mean he shouldn't act like this when he knows your mother is sensitive about it.You'd better talk about this situation with your father and tell him this is not right to bother your mother like this.

-They are same , both ... He is talking like that , she is talking like she will try to convert me into Christianity ... I am more in this situation for my dad , because she started first all this .. They hadnt problems with my sister , but male successor was and still is important for both them ...


The thing which I said above.



First of all,I think your father should change the way he behaves with your mother,because it's not right.Try to reason with him and convince him not to act like this anymore,I'm sure that he will listen to you.

-I feel sorry for her . And yes , he would probably listen me . But , if I calm down him , then she will rise , and she will use all powers and assets she has ... So , I cant do it , because it will get worse than it is now ..

Second,if you really want to be a Muslim,then try to reason with your mother too.You know in fact I don't understand what all these arguments are for when you say they haven't forced anything on you.

-She doesnt want to listen ... Always when I start talking about that , she change theme , something like , about school , girls , puberty .. They didnt force us to be Muslim or Christian , but they are indirectly trying to attract us on one of that ...

And at the end,what do you mean that you are confused about your being Muslim or Christian?Actually I mean why do you think you are confused?

-After all this , I am totally confused , what the f**k am I ... Balancing between all that , totally confused me ...

[Broken Toy]

Tell your parents not to use you as a battle ground. Tel them you want to be a muslim but not a strict muslim. Its your decision. And who cares about Dennis the muslim. I like it. Challenge the stereotypes of religion. I bet if some guy called Mohamed converted to Christianity he wouldn't change his name to luke. Just be who you are, not who you are wanted to be. If they cant deal with that, then they shouldn't be trying to score points with you.

[Left Now]

-I mean , it sounds pretty gross when you meet the Muslim with fu**ing name DENNIS ... I mean , what kind of name is that , Dennis , I hate it ... I usually tell people only my nickname , so they cant hear my shameful name , that hasnt anything mutual with Islam ...

Ahan,so you yourself do not like your name to be Dennis right?So what name do you like to choose then?



-I mean , both are trying to make me man on their ways ... My dad thinks that I should be real Muslim , not secular as I consider myself . On other side is mom that thinks that I should be Catholic or at least Atheist ...

-What do you mean by secular Muslim?You know because different people have different opinions about it.


-1 - Because it is like game ... They were competing who will become Christian or Muslim ... So , my sister choose to be Muslim ... So it was win for my dad , only hope for my mom were I ... Irony is that my sister wears hijab ... So , it was one more for my dad ...

Well,first of anything I must say :

:eek::eek::eek:

:what::what:

WTH?A Game?What kind of hecking game is this?I really don't know what to say because even if it is a game,it is a really bad one of them.


-2- I choose it few years ago ... I read Quran , read religious books etc ... But , I only dont pray ... I mean , I do everything like Muslim , I have read Bible once , but not because of situation , it was because my curiosity , differences and similarities between those two ...

And then you decided Islam?

I also wanted to ask if your father (and you yourself) is a Sunni Muslim.



-No , but I am good psychologist , I can see and feel it ...

Oh...



-I know , but after all those years , you just cant get used to that condition

I understand what you say although I got circumcised when I was very little : about 5 years old.You know what's funny about it?I got what they did to me when I was about 15 years old,it means about 3 or 2 years ago.

However,my parents didn't want me to be circumcised because of religious reasons,mostly because of health and protection.


-I know that also , but they done me something like Semi circumcision because of Phimosis .. Mom was totally against my circumcision , based on her stories , uncircumcised is better , and all like positive things in superlative about uncircumcised condition ... Even when I told them that I have phimosis , she was still against it .. She told me like that I should practice and everything will be fine ... My dad used that situation , because she was stopping him to circumcise me , but he had strong reason and chance that he waited so long , and so , they cut me ...

Well,I guess your father was right about this situation.What about yourself?Do you think it was a good decision?


-I never had some serious relationship , like some girlfriend for some long time .. Only short relationships , but that were only Muslim girls .... I didnt chose them on religion , I mean it is not important to me religion for now , because this is just young time , for marriage I will probably choose Muslim woman , because I dont want to my children be in situation as mine is now .. So she said , that I should hang out more with Christian girls ...

No problem then.Do what she asks you to do because as you yourself said,their religion is not important for you.



-They are same , both ... He is talking like that , she is talking like she will try to convert me into Christianity ... I am more in this situation for my dad , because she started first all this .. They hadnt problems with my sister , but male successor was and still is important for both them ...

Then you have to speak with both of them and,preferably,at the same time.



-I feel sorry for her . And yes , he would probably listen me . But , if I calm down him , then she will rise , and she will use all powers and assets she has ... So , I cant do it , because it will get worse than it is now ..

Then try to reason with both of them at the same time. (?) I think it will work.Tell them that you don't want them act like this anymore and you just want them to encourage you in anyway you choose in your life.



-She doesnt want to listen ... Always when I start talking about that , she change theme , something like , about school , girls , puberty .. They didnt force us to be Muslim or Christian , but they are indirectly trying to attract us on one of that ...

I think what I said above could be a good solution.


-After all this , I am totally confused , what the f**k am I ... Balancing between all that , totally confused me ...

Do you believe in God?Do you believe in Judgment day?Do you believe Muhammad is the prophet of God?Do you believe extremism is not right?

If yes,then you are a Muslim.Case closed!