My best friend... gay?

[pete56]

Hi everyone,
Just like it says, her's the short story. I was going to talk to my best friend at the mall one night and see what was up. He was with a guy I didn't know, not that that matters but I saw them holding hands on the way to the exit. My question is this... do I tell him I saw them or just forget it? He hasn't come out to me, so I don't how to handle this.

[crazyBoyjJ]

well you shouldn't just randomly go to him and ask him. think of a method on how to ask him about relationship stuff.

[Ben_Frost]

Is there any problem with him not coming out to you? He's probably worried you'll stop talking to him if he tells you, he could feel uncomfortable with being open about this. You should wait until he tells you on his own accord. Pay attention to the way he behaves around you and see if it would make any difference if he told you or not, after all coming out is his personal decision.

[fast8]

He may think u wont be his friend anymore if you fine out

[Croconaw]

I wouldn't mention it. It's not really your job to tell him that you think he's gay. He might not be comfortable coming out. I don't see a problem with him not coming out to you. It is his decision. Unless he tells you himself that he is gay, I wouldn't mention it.

[Green Arrow]

I don't think you should tell him that you saw him with someone holding hands. You could mention to him in conversation how supportive you are of gay people and stuff like that and maybe he could come out to you.

[JacobIN]

Honestly if you have a 100% positive feeling hey's gay, I would just go to him and say, "Hey dude i saw you with you man at the mall. I don't care that your gay and I support you 100%." Or something. Thats just me though.

[Cognizant]

Honestly if you have a 100% positive feeling hey's gay, I would just go to him and say, "Hey dude i saw you with you man at the mall. I don't care that your gay and I support you 100%." Or something. Thats just me though.

I share this opinion.

[Dying Ember]

I dont think you should ask him about it. Let him know that you're ok with anyone being gay and don't have anything against them and see if he comes out to you. Don't force it out of him though it can be embarrassing and uncomfortable

[Magenta]

Does it really matter if he's gay? If not, just ignore it and let him do what he wants. If he is gay and wants to come out, let him do it on his own time. It's not personal if he doesn't want to tell you. For a lot of people, it's a terrifying idea to become open about their sexuality. I'm sure he'd tell you if he felt comfortable with it.

[Zachary G]

I am gay and I have a str8 best friend that I wasnt sure if I could come out to him or not, but he made it comfortable enough for me to feel safe with him that I came out to him. Maybe you could try doing something like that, let him know that he can talk to you and tell you anything and that it would have no bearing on your friendship -- but only do this if you consider yourself to be good enough friend.

[JimmyP]

I'm a bit torn on this one. One hand, the point most people are making about it being his decision to come out is valid.

On the other, if I was said friend, I think I would almost rather you mention it. If a friend of mine saw me making out with a dude and told me at a later point "I saw you making out with a dude the other day. I have no problem with that and it won't affect our relationship in the slightest. Oh, and, way to get some!" It would almost make me more comfortable to be out with him. My personal issue isn't whether my friends' have a problem with homosexuality, or, in my case, bisexuality; it's whether they'll treat me differently if they knew that worries me.

[pete56]

Thanks, sounds like maybe the best thing to do or say is nothing. Maybe drop some subtle hints that being gay wouldn't be a problem for me.

[cbm89031]

So what if he's gay.... I got a cupple of friends that are gay also

[Bmble_B]

I wouldn't mention it. It's not really your job to tell him that you think he's gay. He might not be comfortable coming out. I don't see a problem with him not coming out to you. It is his decision. Unless he tells you himself that he is gay, I wouldn't mention it.

Couldnt've said it better myself.

[riverboy]

Thanks, sounds like maybe the best thing to do or say is nothing. Maybe drop some subtle hints that being gay wouldn't be a problem for me.

I agree with your decision but wanted to ask you if you have made comments that could have scared hin into not telling you if he is gay. Like gay jokes or "that's so gay". Plus make sure you know what was going on in the mail.