OMGOMG132
September 14th, 2014, 04:02 AM
So, I am having some problems in my life right now. Thankfully, this isn't serious enough to be posted in the mental crisis section.
I have no patience for math or school. Most importantly, I realize that school and homework should be top-priory, but my low patience for these things prevent me from doing good at school.
I am 14 years old, I am quite tall, somewhat smart, and kinda handsome, but worst of all. I might just be the most shy and sensitive person in the world. And my social skills are completely messed up and 'unused'.
Today I was at a big birthday of two successful twins, one girl and one boy, around my age. The party went fine until they got to the speeches part. In the speeches, they mentioned how the two twins are very successful at everything and at one point, they said also said how the boy twin was very good with girls.
I kinda have a system for getting depressed & mad. Here it is.
Stage 1: I start to think about the bad feeling. But just a bit
Stage 2: I think about it more, the feeling is getting worst.
Stage 3: The feeling is expanding and I start to loose control over what I am actually thinking about inside my head. This is the point of no return, meaning after this state, I cant stop my self unless I go through all the stages or I get heavily distracted with something good and happy.
Stage 4: By this point I might start to cry or if I am in a room with a lot of people I would probably TRY to go outside and get some fresh air.
Stage 5: All the sadness and fear I was feeling until now get converted into rage and frustration.
Stage 6: This is a nasty stage, if I at my house I will take my madness and rage and convert it into violent physical action, such as breaking house hold items, breaking very precious objects that belong to me. I will never hurt anyone though.
The bad feelings are usually: Sadness, fear, concern, mad about something, frustration, and when I loose all my patience, which usually only happens when I do math homework.
One big problem I see my self having is that I have no one to talk to. When I look around I see people with best friends and soul mate and they share everything between each other, and of course also talk with each other and share problems and tips.
I, on the other hand, don't have that. I don't have much friends in general, and I barely, if any at all, have any best friends and/or soul mates. I am kinda new to where I live (a whole different country) and so I am confused by how the social system between teens my age work and how to do stuff with friends, such as meet up and hand out.
One HUGE stress releaving action I could see my self doing that would probably make 50% of my stress and bad feelings go away is talking to my crush.
I am already normal friends with my crush but I feel like if I tell her how I feel and she doesnt reject me and we go as far as being gf and bf I will have finally someone to talk to, including actually having affections for that person.
I also used to have a best friend (pretty much my only best friend) at my old school where I was friends with everybody. But now me and my best friend and 4-5 other people went to the same new school as I did, I dont know almost anyone there and dont have any friends.
How ever, my best friend has already made new best friends and I dont know if we consider each other best friends any more but we barely, if at all talk any more.
One last thing I would like to add... Due to my impatience with math and general school work, I am a very bad academic student and cant really succeeded anymore in pretty much anything.
My biggest question is: How do I get to better control my feelings and thoughts and be less sensitive? Thanks for reading this long post. Maybe at a different time I will post a different post regarding me and my crush situation.
I have no patience for math or school. Most importantly, I realize that school and homework should be top-priory, but my low patience for these things prevent me from doing good at school.
I am 14 years old, I am quite tall, somewhat smart, and kinda handsome, but worst of all. I might just be the most shy and sensitive person in the world. And my social skills are completely messed up and 'unused'.
Today I was at a big birthday of two successful twins, one girl and one boy, around my age. The party went fine until they got to the speeches part. In the speeches, they mentioned how the two twins are very successful at everything and at one point, they said also said how the boy twin was very good with girls.
I kinda have a system for getting depressed & mad. Here it is.
Stage 1: I start to think about the bad feeling. But just a bit
Stage 2: I think about it more, the feeling is getting worst.
Stage 3: The feeling is expanding and I start to loose control over what I am actually thinking about inside my head. This is the point of no return, meaning after this state, I cant stop my self unless I go through all the stages or I get heavily distracted with something good and happy.
Stage 4: By this point I might start to cry or if I am in a room with a lot of people I would probably TRY to go outside and get some fresh air.
Stage 5: All the sadness and fear I was feeling until now get converted into rage and frustration.
Stage 6: This is a nasty stage, if I at my house I will take my madness and rage and convert it into violent physical action, such as breaking house hold items, breaking very precious objects that belong to me. I will never hurt anyone though.
The bad feelings are usually: Sadness, fear, concern, mad about something, frustration, and when I loose all my patience, which usually only happens when I do math homework.
One big problem I see my self having is that I have no one to talk to. When I look around I see people with best friends and soul mate and they share everything between each other, and of course also talk with each other and share problems and tips.
I, on the other hand, don't have that. I don't have much friends in general, and I barely, if any at all, have any best friends and/or soul mates. I am kinda new to where I live (a whole different country) and so I am confused by how the social system between teens my age work and how to do stuff with friends, such as meet up and hand out.
One HUGE stress releaving action I could see my self doing that would probably make 50% of my stress and bad feelings go away is talking to my crush.
I am already normal friends with my crush but I feel like if I tell her how I feel and she doesnt reject me and we go as far as being gf and bf I will have finally someone to talk to, including actually having affections for that person.
I also used to have a best friend (pretty much my only best friend) at my old school where I was friends with everybody. But now me and my best friend and 4-5 other people went to the same new school as I did, I dont know almost anyone there and dont have any friends.
How ever, my best friend has already made new best friends and I dont know if we consider each other best friends any more but we barely, if at all talk any more.
One last thing I would like to add... Due to my impatience with math and general school work, I am a very bad academic student and cant really succeeded anymore in pretty much anything.
My biggest question is: How do I get to better control my feelings and thoughts and be less sensitive? Thanks for reading this long post. Maybe at a different time I will post a different post regarding me and my crush situation.