Cognizant
September 12th, 2014, 01:24 AM
ok so love is a bit of a touchy subject for me, but recently i've had the hots for this guy i met online. He's only slightly younger than me, lives in the east coast (so definitely not within visiting distance), and we've both expressed interest in each other to some extent. I'll also admit that we've done some non sexual role-play (like spooning together, cuddling, etc), and if he lived in my area I would've gone to meet him in person by now. I honestly haven't felt this attracted towards a person in a long while. I definitely love the attention and affection, but im a bit nervous that committing myself to someone who lives at best 7 hours away by plane.
I guess it stems down from my previous serious commitment with my ex, Giovanni. He lived 2 hours away via public transit on a slow day, so while we did get to see each other quite often, a good chunk of it was through online communications. What really fucking sucked was not being able to see him in person every day. I guess I'm just clingy that way; but I saw Giovanni almost every Saturday and sometimes 2 or 3 times a week during the summer. Obviously I'm not capable of doing the same thing with this dude, and I'm worried that I would either:
Get really upset about not being able to see him in person until I visit NYC next summer, and/or:
Either him or I get tired of the physical bloc and move onto other people, effectively leaving one of the parties broken hearted
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'd be worried about hurting him. My ex tried to cheat on me for some online person and trust me, it hurt like hell. It's also worth noting that by the time I visit NYC, he'd be 16 and I'd be 18, and his parents would most likely not approve at all. They'd think of me as some creepy pedo or something. But I really, really like him and he's like no other guy at my school :\ sigh fuck hormones.
tl;dr: I'm really attracted to this guy who lives in the East Coast, but since I wouldn't be able to see him in person I don't know if I should bother or not. I really, really like him but I'm scared of hurting him or getting hurt in the end.
any advice would be greatly appreciated because i don't know if i should brace the pain and move on or if i should give it a shot.
I guess it stems down from my previous serious commitment with my ex, Giovanni. He lived 2 hours away via public transit on a slow day, so while we did get to see each other quite often, a good chunk of it was through online communications. What really fucking sucked was not being able to see him in person every day. I guess I'm just clingy that way; but I saw Giovanni almost every Saturday and sometimes 2 or 3 times a week during the summer. Obviously I'm not capable of doing the same thing with this dude, and I'm worried that I would either:
Get really upset about not being able to see him in person until I visit NYC next summer, and/or:
Either him or I get tired of the physical bloc and move onto other people, effectively leaving one of the parties broken hearted
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'd be worried about hurting him. My ex tried to cheat on me for some online person and trust me, it hurt like hell. It's also worth noting that by the time I visit NYC, he'd be 16 and I'd be 18, and his parents would most likely not approve at all. They'd think of me as some creepy pedo or something. But I really, really like him and he's like no other guy at my school :\ sigh fuck hormones.
tl;dr: I'm really attracted to this guy who lives in the East Coast, but since I wouldn't be able to see him in person I don't know if I should bother or not. I really, really like him but I'm scared of hurting him or getting hurt in the end.
any advice would be greatly appreciated because i don't know if i should brace the pain and move on or if i should give it a shot.