ViolinPro
September 10th, 2014, 04:09 PM
I actually don't know how to start this post, just hoping that I'd get at least a few ears or an advise, something like that. It's a bit tragic and long, but to whoever reads it, thank you.
Two years ago, I met the love of my life. My family and I visited some old family friends in another country. They have one son who I've met a few times in the past when I was 5 and 9. I don't believe in fate, but this one was as if God himself played a joke.
I stayed at their place for two weeks when I had to go back to the US. And I knew it was love, we never kissed or did anything sexual but for some reason everybody around us, even his mom said that she could tell we were in love.
Over the period of 2 years it was the greatest push and pull pain I've experienced due to both of each other not believing that we love each other and the growing mistrust between us when we confessed. Earlier this year, I was supposed to fly over to his place as he cannot get a passport for outside country expeditions yet. Then I find out from his friend that he cheated with this "friend" of his and she was the reason he started writing less to me.
He really broke my heart, he wrote to me for weeks afterwards that I was the one that he cannot forget me and that he made a big mistake. He stopped talking with a lot of his friends and became solitary and more depressed that's what his parents said.
I just couldn't let him off and of course, everything crumbled.
A month later, I met my current boyfriend who I had an attraction for, but nothing close to the previous one.
I tried everything to forget that guy and its impossible. Some of you might say its stupid, long distance crap never works. Everyday I wake up with a stone in my heart that I can never get rid of, neither sports nor nothing works. He also acknowledged, in a friendly talk after time has passed and my anger faded, that he's also suffering, but we both knew we had to move on.
I don't know what to do, I did fall in love a few times in my life but this one, it's just too painful and the love was too intense. We could've been together, but then I catch myself thinking, would he really cheat if he really loved me?
There is no way I can describe this, it's like a curse.
Lastly, my mom started to hate his mother (due to circumstances which will take too long to write out) since the very last visit. My mom is a person with a fairly sad past, she's not mentally stable now and has problems with her boyfriend. She made her cousin hack through my facebook and find all the messages between me and that guy. She called up my current boyfriend and screamed at both of us why am I writing to that guy. Now my boyfriend cannot trust me (though I told him everything about that guy) I never cheated on him and I said that everythings over between me and that guy. He walked out today and I just feel everything ending. I do care for him. I am so angry with my mother, I do not wish for her to be in my life anymore after all the sh** shes done, not only this time.
I'm also starting to feel suicidal for the first time in many years.
Two years ago, I met the love of my life. My family and I visited some old family friends in another country. They have one son who I've met a few times in the past when I was 5 and 9. I don't believe in fate, but this one was as if God himself played a joke.
I stayed at their place for two weeks when I had to go back to the US. And I knew it was love, we never kissed or did anything sexual but for some reason everybody around us, even his mom said that she could tell we were in love.
Over the period of 2 years it was the greatest push and pull pain I've experienced due to both of each other not believing that we love each other and the growing mistrust between us when we confessed. Earlier this year, I was supposed to fly over to his place as he cannot get a passport for outside country expeditions yet. Then I find out from his friend that he cheated with this "friend" of his and she was the reason he started writing less to me.
He really broke my heart, he wrote to me for weeks afterwards that I was the one that he cannot forget me and that he made a big mistake. He stopped talking with a lot of his friends and became solitary and more depressed that's what his parents said.
I just couldn't let him off and of course, everything crumbled.
A month later, I met my current boyfriend who I had an attraction for, but nothing close to the previous one.
I tried everything to forget that guy and its impossible. Some of you might say its stupid, long distance crap never works. Everyday I wake up with a stone in my heart that I can never get rid of, neither sports nor nothing works. He also acknowledged, in a friendly talk after time has passed and my anger faded, that he's also suffering, but we both knew we had to move on.
I don't know what to do, I did fall in love a few times in my life but this one, it's just too painful and the love was too intense. We could've been together, but then I catch myself thinking, would he really cheat if he really loved me?
There is no way I can describe this, it's like a curse.
Lastly, my mom started to hate his mother (due to circumstances which will take too long to write out) since the very last visit. My mom is a person with a fairly sad past, she's not mentally stable now and has problems with her boyfriend. She made her cousin hack through my facebook and find all the messages between me and that guy. She called up my current boyfriend and screamed at both of us why am I writing to that guy. Now my boyfriend cannot trust me (though I told him everything about that guy) I never cheated on him and I said that everythings over between me and that guy. He walked out today and I just feel everything ending. I do care for him. I am so angry with my mother, I do not wish for her to be in my life anymore after all the sh** shes done, not only this time.
I'm also starting to feel suicidal for the first time in many years.