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View Full Version : At a dead end, Lost.


ViolinPro
September 10th, 2014, 04:09 PM
I actually don't know how to start this post, just hoping that I'd get at least a few ears or an advise, something like that. It's a bit tragic and long, but to whoever reads it, thank you.
Two years ago, I met the love of my life. My family and I visited some old family friends in another country. They have one son who I've met a few times in the past when I was 5 and 9. I don't believe in fate, but this one was as if God himself played a joke.
I stayed at their place for two weeks when I had to go back to the US. And I knew it was love, we never kissed or did anything sexual but for some reason everybody around us, even his mom said that she could tell we were in love.

Over the period of 2 years it was the greatest push and pull pain I've experienced due to both of each other not believing that we love each other and the growing mistrust between us when we confessed. Earlier this year, I was supposed to fly over to his place as he cannot get a passport for outside country expeditions yet. Then I find out from his friend that he cheated with this "friend" of his and she was the reason he started writing less to me.
He really broke my heart, he wrote to me for weeks afterwards that I was the one that he cannot forget me and that he made a big mistake. He stopped talking with a lot of his friends and became solitary and more depressed that's what his parents said.
I just couldn't let him off and of course, everything crumbled.
A month later, I met my current boyfriend who I had an attraction for, but nothing close to the previous one.
I tried everything to forget that guy and its impossible. Some of you might say its stupid, long distance crap never works. Everyday I wake up with a stone in my heart that I can never get rid of, neither sports nor nothing works. He also acknowledged, in a friendly talk after time has passed and my anger faded, that he's also suffering, but we both knew we had to move on.
I don't know what to do, I did fall in love a few times in my life but this one, it's just too painful and the love was too intense. We could've been together, but then I catch myself thinking, would he really cheat if he really loved me?
There is no way I can describe this, it's like a curse.

Lastly, my mom started to hate his mother (due to circumstances which will take too long to write out) since the very last visit. My mom is a person with a fairly sad past, she's not mentally stable now and has problems with her boyfriend. She made her cousin hack through my facebook and find all the messages between me and that guy. She called up my current boyfriend and screamed at both of us why am I writing to that guy. Now my boyfriend cannot trust me (though I told him everything about that guy) I never cheated on him and I said that everythings over between me and that guy. He walked out today and I just feel everything ending. I do care for him. I am so angry with my mother, I do not wish for her to be in my life anymore after all the sh** shes done, not only this time.

I'm also starting to feel suicidal for the first time in many years.

Broken Toy
September 10th, 2014, 05:49 PM
I just don't know what to say.
Like iwant to say ive been there it gets better.
But i haven't been there.
But i do know it gets better.
It has to. How can you live through all that and it not get better. I think if your mom is not mentally stable then you should stick around and it will hopefully get better but if it it gets worse (please don't take offence to it) maybe you should seek foster care for a while. Let her figure herself out and realise how important YOU are. I think things with your boyfriend will be ok as long as you don't do anything rash. If he stays with you even though he doesn't trust you he must feel something pretty special for you. I think he'll start trusting you more after a while.

Good luck and im here as much as i can be

ViolinPro
September 11th, 2014, 08:14 AM
Thanks Broken toy, I actually live seperately from my mom and I know that dragging my boyfriend into this was not worth it but we managed to stay together and for some reason, I know he's also something special to me even though it's not that strong love I had for the guy before. We talked about some things today and I think things will go well.
Just that my mother is meddling into things, not only in this situation, she almost ruined other things for me not having to do with relationships. Difficult.
Thanks for listening)

Broken Toy
September 11th, 2014, 09:50 AM
Thanks Broken toy, I actually live seperately from my mom and I know that dragging my boyfriend into this was not worth it but we managed to stay together and for some reason, I know he's also something special to me even though it's not that strong love I had for the guy before. We talked about some things today and I think things will go well.
Just that my mother is meddling into things, not only in this situation, she almost ruined other things for me not having to do with relationships. Difficult.
Thanks for listening)

Well maybe you do. It could just be one of those things where you do but it doesn't seem that way looking at what you USED to have

Seafood
September 12th, 2014, 06:43 AM
If you truly love this guy. Hold onto hope. Sometimes its easier to let go but it may be woth while if you hold on.

That's all the advice I can give. Sorry, this must suck. I'm here if you want to talk about anything.