Im In A Bad Situation! Help

[Uranus]

So I am in a distant relationship. Me and my gf have been together for 7 months. But there are some issues. There is another girl in my life. They are the same age. Since I moved the other girl and me have been talking, as friends, since I left about a year ago. The problems are that my gf is starting to disappoint me. We both say we love each other, and I do love her. And we have been through so much together. I have sacrificed a ton of shit for this girl. I do things for her out of love. When she calls me, or I call her, I stop whatever the fuck I'm doing and talk to her. I never realized this til a month ago. When we talk on the phone shes always distracted. She openly comments on guys all the time and says it out loud. I understand that, but why can't she say it in her head when I don't wanna hear that shit. She never puts aside whatever she's doing, even when it is not anything that important. Like, tv, computer, ECT. And says "hold on" every five minutes. Plus she doesn't stop hanging out with guys. I understand that but she does it excessively. And for a few months she hasn't done anything out of love unless I sometimes ask her. I always do something very kind and loving for her, not because she asks me, but because I care and love her. Don't get me wrong, we still have laughs and shit, but its not like it one was. The other girl I know. She is a great friend. We hung out, laughed and shit. I like her and she likes me. And I know it's possible that she would be in a relationship with me. The problems with my gf, is the issues of trust, we don't really have good conversations anymore, we can't relate to anything as people who live near each other do. And the list goes on. The other girl, we can trust each other, we can have great conversations. We can relate to things that my gf and I can't. Me and the other girl lived near each other. And I know we have feelings for each other even though we haven't talked about it. I love them both. But I can only have one. If I stay with my gf, I lose the great benefits that I could have, but still have to deal with the issues. And she said she'll stop but won't. If I go with the other girl, I get benefits and I can trust her. We know each other and I wouldn't have to deal with the problems that I'm dealing with. BUT, I would break my gf's heart. It's 50/50. I have no fucking idea what to do. I personally think I may be better off with the other girl. I feel like I am only staying with my gf so I don't break her heart. I do love her but I don't think she feels exactly the same way. If you don't understand let me do this -

Being With One Or The Other-

My GF
1. Give up the amazing benefits of being with the other girl.
2. Be stuck with the problems with her.
3. I do things out of love
3.1 She doesn't, but she once did
4. We do care for each other.... Or.....we did.
5. NOT be able to relate to things.
6. We don't have conversations like we used to.
7. ECT

The Other Girl

1. Be able to communicate very well.
2. She's more expressive about things(��)
3. We can relate to alot of things.
4. We known each other for a very long time
5. I can trust her
6. She does things on her own choice.
7. Wouldn't have to worry about the problems with my gf
8. We can have amazing conversations.
9. We care for each other.



The only thing I feel like I am staying with my gf is so I don't break her heart and make her feel like I betrayed her. I didn't always think that but now I am. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO FUCKING DO!!! I am crying a little bit as I am writing this post. I do feel like I'd be better off with the other girl. She is single so no guy to worry about. And I do have feelings for her and like I said she does for me. I want to tell just don't know how. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying my gf is the only one in the wrong. I have been too. Can anyone here please give me support and help.?!?!

I don't know what to do.
I need to be in a relationship. There's only a few people I can trust and it's these two. Please help... ��




What do you people personally think? Me be with my gf or the other girl?

[kanine]

I think you should talk to your girlfriend about this. She might feel the same way about another guy.

[Uranus]

I think you should talk to your girlfriend about this. She might feel the same way about another guy.

I would. I just don't know. I don't want her to get the wrong idea. I can't explain why. But you have to understand

[kanine]

You're scared of hurting her? If that's it then I'm sorry but the only course of action that I can think of for you to avoid that is to give up on this girl you really seem to like and never tell your gf. But honestly it sounds like you and she have drifted apart and it might be time to end it. But there's no way for me to know everything going on with you and her. So have some cliche advice and do what your heart wants.

[Uranus]

You're scared of hurting her? If that's it then I'm sorry but the only course of action that I can think of for you to avoid that is to give up on this girl you really seem to like and never tell your gf. But honestly it sounds like you and she have drifted apart and it might be time to end it. But there's no way for me to know everything going on with you and her. So have some cliche advice and do what your heart wants.

That is it I guess. I want to do what my heart wants. I don't wanna hurt her, but am I hurting myself?

[kanine]

That is it I guess. I want to do what my heart wants. I don't wanna hurt her, but am I hurting myself?

Only you really know the answer to that bro.

[Uranus]

Only you really know the answer to that bro.

You're right. I Do. And I have strong feelings for the other girl. I feel like I need to leave my gf. So she can learn. She's mot the same girl she once was when I first met her. And I know the other girl has feelings for me. The only thing stopping me from leaving her is I just don't want to break her heart. I know it will for reasons I don't feel like talking about... I am really confused about what I need to do

[kanine]

I've said all I can think of, sorry if it wasn't all that helpful.

I sincerely hope everything works out in the end, no matter what you decide to do.

[Uranus]

I've said all I can think of, sorry if it wasn't all that helpful.

I sincerely hope everything works out in the end, no matter what you decide to do.

It wad helpful. Thanks..

[ZzeWatermelon]

Your girlfriend is not worth you, if she acts this way. She doesn't care I think, so you should break up. It won't hurt her so much, since she's not really into the relationship. (Well that's what I would say, since she's acting this way.
Plus - you know what you want to do, really well, you're just scared. You like the other girl as well, then go and get her.

As simple as that. :D

[Uranus]

Your girlfriend is not worth you, if she acts this way. She doesn't care I think, so you should break up. It won't hurt her so much, since she's not really into the relationship. (Well that's what I would say, since she's acting this way.
Plus - you know what you want to do, really well, you're just scared. You like the other girl as well, then go and get her.

As simple as that. :D

Your right. But I know it would hurt her. I've been through so much with her supporting. But sometimes when I talk to my gf I regret having these thoughts. Maybe I should discuss the issue with her. (This Next Question Is For Anyone) I really need to be in a relationship. With someone I can trust and talk to. I can trust my guys, but they don't understand. Like these two girls can though. Would it be bad to be in a relationship with the two of them?? In case I fall out with one then I still have the other one? I'm just so FUCKING confused and I don't wanna hurt my gf..... I just don't know what to do

[basketball33]

I think you just need to tell her the truth in the end she'll be more grateful that you did and it will cause less problems down the road

[Uranus]

I think you just need to tell her the truth in the end she'll be more grateful that you did and it will cause less problems down the road

Thx for the advice, but it won't help now. Things are different

[sieg]

well, i think the choice is clear. You should stay with your long distance girlfriend


if you want to be miserable! haha.
On a more serious note, the other girl sounds ideal. And you shouldnt worry about breaking your girlfriends heart, because by the sounds of it, she doesnt have a heart to begin with! also, she is long distance and can't do much in retaliation.
And always remember safe sex is great sex!

[CanadianJake]

I just noticed the date of the post but I'm still gonna comment because if things like this happen again at least you and others will know what to do if they're in a similar situation.

By the sounds of it, if your long distance girlfriend is talking about other guys and is getting distracted it almost sounds like she's having a hard time with the distance aspect. If she's talking about other guys then it means maybe she could be cheating quite possibly? I'm not accusing her of cheating I'm just saying. But it just seems like she's given up on the relationship because of it being long distance. Kudos though for keeping it up if you are still dating and keeping this a long distance relationship if you are still together but either way it just sounds like she's almost given up in some regards. However you and this other girl live close by too each other where as your long distance girlfriend is in another city, you can't cuddle, hangout or date. At least with this other girl you can go out on dates, have a good time and cuddle each other. I think it's just best to end the long distance relationship because it seems like it's not working out the best. Your probably gonna hurt her no matter what you do unfortunately but at least if you tell the truth to her then it means you did the right thing instead of lying. Either way hope things ended up well for you! :)

[Melodic]

Regardless of her actions, I think this is an obvious choice. The other girl..

It seems you have more better things to say about her than the girl you are actually dating.

As for breaking things off, I can already say you both aren't happy with something. It's best to do so now before you resent her or she resents you.

[Uranus]

Regardless of her actions, I think this is an obvious choice. The other girl..

It seems you have more better things to say about her than the girl you are actually dating.

As for breaking things off, I can already say you both aren't happy with something. It's best to do so now before you resent her or she resents you.

Thx for the advice. I really appreciate it :) but things ate different now. Things are kinda sad, but good on a way. And probably what you might not expect.. Especially with when I did post this thread