onewingedangel666
September 5th, 2014, 09:51 PM
Alright I made this account specifically for this purpose. I need help. It's been over six months since this happened and I cannot get over it.
There is a girl. She moved to my school in 6th grade (I just started 10th) and I immediately got a crush. During the next few years she found out, and it was a little awkward between us, but I was okay with it. Then my freshmen year we actually got a little closer. We went to a performance together (It was a school field trip) and a "friend" (Actually a kid i hate (I did before all this happened) but we will call him Al) made me go and talk to her. He would always pick on me for liking her but i never paid attention. Anyways we talked for over 20 minuets before the performance started. To this day it is still the best night of my life. I keep the cover of the pamphlet in my wallet.
For the next few weeks we didn't really talk (We are in completely different social circles). Then I found out she used "Google Hangouts" so we began chatting on there. The first night we talked for 3 hours and I found out so much about her. I learned she wanted to go to Europe after school and that she was a huge nerd/gamer. Before that night It was only a crush to me, but after that night I know I fell in love. So we talked for about a week before a (Different) friend made me ask her to the movies. What ended up happening is we canceled when I asked whether she actually wanted to go or if she said yes to be nice (It was the latter). Later in the week (It was spring break of my 9th grade year) I asked her to go with me anyway. She obliged and brought her friend along as well. We decided it wasn't a date and moved on. I being a stupid kid told a bunch of people "I actually went to he movies with ____!" But i always made it clear it wasn't a date. Of course when "Al" got a hold of the information, he told this girl that i was telling everyone that it was a date. I had no idea. I asked her on an actual date and she declined because I had (allegedly) told everyone about the movies.
We stopped talking for a while.i ended up apologizing because when I wasn't talking to her, i noticed I got much angrier much easier and I was depressed. We kept talking but it was never like the first few weeks we did.
During this time I told a few of her friends about my feelings for her. (Everyone knew that i had a crush on her but not that i actually "Loved" her) So when i finally told her, she said "I had no idea" when actually one of her friends told her about a week before. This hurt a lot. Maybe because she lied. Maybe because she just didn't care I loved her. I still don't know. I ended up asking her if she actually enjoyed talking to me. I never really got a straight answer. I also asked her If I would ever have a true chance. She told me she "didn't plan on dating anyone in highschool... Unless I really liked them or something" So i at least had the idea that even if I wan't gonna have a chance,no one else would.
After a few more weeks I tried asking her to a talent show our school was having. It ended up just not happening. The morning i asked her I noticed she just couldn't stop smiling. That night I ended up just telling her I was done talking to her and trying to ask her places, and told her everything I felt about her, from her eyes to her personality. She responded with "Why goodbye?" and also said "I did enjoy talking with you"... This made me feel so amazing. It made me feel like I never should have said goodbye or anything... I should have left her alone then and there.
I get to school the next day and I hear this- ____ and "Al" are dating. It destroyed me. It all came together- why she hadn't gone to the talent show with me, Why she couldn't stop smiling... I wanted to die. This kid that i hate, this stupid man whore, is with the girl i love. The irony was indescribable. This kid, he's a huge druggie, a giant douche and just a terrible person. But I also heard that the whole thing was a joke. Just to piss me off, and that She was a part of it... I'm not sure what hurt more, hearing about it or learning it might of been a joke.
Everyone told me "You should have gotten her first".. So I tried. I was done trying to ask her on dates and stuff. I asked to out. She told me she was with "Al" and that I should have deleted Google Hangouts when i said I would. She called me creepy and... it just hurt alot. I freaked out. (This was all over hangouts) I said things that I'm not going to repeat on here... My life was falling apart.
So after a month of having to watch him hold her hand and walk her down the hall, summer came. My knuckles were bruised, and I got so angry at the smallest things. I was depressed, and I knew it. Then things started looking up. I got a phone and somehow Her and I started texting. I made sure she knew I just wanted to be friends for now. The only time I became all emotional and cheesy was the first night. i ended up calling her and we talked about how she wanted to join the peace corp and go to europe and everything. I told her that if I had the chance I'd go with her... I still eel this way.
So I went on a trip to NYC, first time going and I was excited. The trip was then ruined when i get a text saying "This is ___'s mom." She told me I was not allowed to talk to her because of what I said to her on Hangouts... The rest of my trip and summer was ruined... That was about five weeks ago. During that time my dad got a heart deseise and stopped working, my cat of 15 years died, and I had no one to talk to, as She was the only one that I ever texted.
Now that school has started, I have no classes wih her, yet i have over half of them with "Al". He gives me so much crap about her... I deal with it but one day i'm gonna snap and freak out. I'm depressed about her and can't stop thinking about her. i can't sleep, i can't focous on anything... Its ruining y life. I see her everyday and I can't even say anything to her. She wants nothing to do with me and I want everything to do with her... I don't know where to go from here. She ignores my texts, even when i just asked her to respond with a period, after i told her I'd delete her number.... I don't know if i'm looking for answers, simpathy, or justsomeone to talk to.... I just want to stop thinking about her for one day, but I can't... Sorry for the wall of text but... It's all true and not exaggerated...
Why am i so beat up about this? Why can't I stop thinking about her? What do I do? Do I keep trying? Do I leave her alone? For how long- forever? A year? A few months?... I just have no idea.
There is a girl. She moved to my school in 6th grade (I just started 10th) and I immediately got a crush. During the next few years she found out, and it was a little awkward between us, but I was okay with it. Then my freshmen year we actually got a little closer. We went to a performance together (It was a school field trip) and a "friend" (Actually a kid i hate (I did before all this happened) but we will call him Al) made me go and talk to her. He would always pick on me for liking her but i never paid attention. Anyways we talked for over 20 minuets before the performance started. To this day it is still the best night of my life. I keep the cover of the pamphlet in my wallet.
For the next few weeks we didn't really talk (We are in completely different social circles). Then I found out she used "Google Hangouts" so we began chatting on there. The first night we talked for 3 hours and I found out so much about her. I learned she wanted to go to Europe after school and that she was a huge nerd/gamer. Before that night It was only a crush to me, but after that night I know I fell in love. So we talked for about a week before a (Different) friend made me ask her to the movies. What ended up happening is we canceled when I asked whether she actually wanted to go or if she said yes to be nice (It was the latter). Later in the week (It was spring break of my 9th grade year) I asked her to go with me anyway. She obliged and brought her friend along as well. We decided it wasn't a date and moved on. I being a stupid kid told a bunch of people "I actually went to he movies with ____!" But i always made it clear it wasn't a date. Of course when "Al" got a hold of the information, he told this girl that i was telling everyone that it was a date. I had no idea. I asked her on an actual date and she declined because I had (allegedly) told everyone about the movies.
We stopped talking for a while.i ended up apologizing because when I wasn't talking to her, i noticed I got much angrier much easier and I was depressed. We kept talking but it was never like the first few weeks we did.
During this time I told a few of her friends about my feelings for her. (Everyone knew that i had a crush on her but not that i actually "Loved" her) So when i finally told her, she said "I had no idea" when actually one of her friends told her about a week before. This hurt a lot. Maybe because she lied. Maybe because she just didn't care I loved her. I still don't know. I ended up asking her if she actually enjoyed talking to me. I never really got a straight answer. I also asked her If I would ever have a true chance. She told me she "didn't plan on dating anyone in highschool... Unless I really liked them or something" So i at least had the idea that even if I wan't gonna have a chance,no one else would.
After a few more weeks I tried asking her to a talent show our school was having. It ended up just not happening. The morning i asked her I noticed she just couldn't stop smiling. That night I ended up just telling her I was done talking to her and trying to ask her places, and told her everything I felt about her, from her eyes to her personality. She responded with "Why goodbye?" and also said "I did enjoy talking with you"... This made me feel so amazing. It made me feel like I never should have said goodbye or anything... I should have left her alone then and there.
I get to school the next day and I hear this- ____ and "Al" are dating. It destroyed me. It all came together- why she hadn't gone to the talent show with me, Why she couldn't stop smiling... I wanted to die. This kid that i hate, this stupid man whore, is with the girl i love. The irony was indescribable. This kid, he's a huge druggie, a giant douche and just a terrible person. But I also heard that the whole thing was a joke. Just to piss me off, and that She was a part of it... I'm not sure what hurt more, hearing about it or learning it might of been a joke.
Everyone told me "You should have gotten her first".. So I tried. I was done trying to ask her on dates and stuff. I asked to out. She told me she was with "Al" and that I should have deleted Google Hangouts when i said I would. She called me creepy and... it just hurt alot. I freaked out. (This was all over hangouts) I said things that I'm not going to repeat on here... My life was falling apart.
So after a month of having to watch him hold her hand and walk her down the hall, summer came. My knuckles were bruised, and I got so angry at the smallest things. I was depressed, and I knew it. Then things started looking up. I got a phone and somehow Her and I started texting. I made sure she knew I just wanted to be friends for now. The only time I became all emotional and cheesy was the first night. i ended up calling her and we talked about how she wanted to join the peace corp and go to europe and everything. I told her that if I had the chance I'd go with her... I still eel this way.
So I went on a trip to NYC, first time going and I was excited. The trip was then ruined when i get a text saying "This is ___'s mom." She told me I was not allowed to talk to her because of what I said to her on Hangouts... The rest of my trip and summer was ruined... That was about five weeks ago. During that time my dad got a heart deseise and stopped working, my cat of 15 years died, and I had no one to talk to, as She was the only one that I ever texted.
Now that school has started, I have no classes wih her, yet i have over half of them with "Al". He gives me so much crap about her... I deal with it but one day i'm gonna snap and freak out. I'm depressed about her and can't stop thinking about her. i can't sleep, i can't focous on anything... Its ruining y life. I see her everyday and I can't even say anything to her. She wants nothing to do with me and I want everything to do with her... I don't know where to go from here. She ignores my texts, even when i just asked her to respond with a period, after i told her I'd delete her number.... I don't know if i'm looking for answers, simpathy, or justsomeone to talk to.... I just want to stop thinking about her for one day, but I can't... Sorry for the wall of text but... It's all true and not exaggerated...
Why am i so beat up about this? Why can't I stop thinking about her? What do I do? Do I keep trying? Do I leave her alone? For how long- forever? A year? A few months?... I just have no idea.