The useless nice guy...

[EternalSadness]

I don't see why girls care if you're nice. All I ever see is girls absolutely in love with guys that are horrible to them or just don't treat them nicely. When I was younger I'd have happily believed it was immaturity and girls would grow to appreciate someone being nice to them, but it just isn't that way.

I tried being nice and always there for my ex and she got to the point where she said she loved me but she never treated me more than a friend. Also you easily get friendzoned by being nice. All I want is someone to love me and I want to treat them correctly but no girl ever seems to want to love a guy being nice to her. When I say nice I mean trying to be thoughtful, generous and courteous.

Does being nice ever work?

[Elanor]

If you are "always there" then the girl will take you for granted, which will make you boring and predictable.
It is much more fun with guys who seem independent and don't put almost all their happiness in the hands of their girlfriend.

The reason why "bad boys" are fascinating to some girls is because they feel like more of a challenge than nice guys.
This doesn't mean that acting like an ass is good in any way whatsoever, it just means that bad boys in general have more attitude and don't put girls on a pedestal.
A guy who is friendly and charming but also is independent and busy with other things, and who is always ready to argue against his girlfriend about things he feels are wrong, is a great catch.

Basically, your girlfriend shouldn't feel so sure that you are "hers", she should also feel that she is supposed to respect you or else you might get tired and leave her.
She should feel that if she disrespects you in any way, like for example using you to do her all kinds of different favours without giving you anything in return, then there is always the risk that you will have enough of that and quit the relationship.

If you notice that you are being ignored or treated with less respect by a girl, then you should firmly tell her so, and if she keeps acting the same way, then break up - because at that point she would have friendzoned you anyway, without realizing it.

[Mastretta]

I don't see why girls care if you're nice. All I ever see is girls absolutely in love with guys that are horrible to them or just don't treat them nicely. When I was younger I'd have happily believed it was immaturity and girls would grow to appreciate someone being nice to them, but it just isn't that way.

I tried being nice and always there for my ex and she got to the point where she said she loved me but she never treated me more than a friend. Also you easily get friendzoned by being nice. All I want is someone to love me and I want to treat them correctly but no girl ever seems to want to love a guy being nice to her. When I say nice I mean trying to be thoughtful, generous and courteous.

Does being nice ever work?
Hey, hey, hey, news flash! Being a decent human being which everyone should be doesn't mean you should get a date me pass for being nice, have you thought of how the "Mean guys" carry there selves compared how you carry your self as the "Nice guy", the reason they get girls because they figured out that friendzone is not a zone the girl just doesn't like you it's like me saying because the stereotype of black people being all thugs and because I'm not a thug I should get a partner more easily. Keep being nice stop believing in the "Friendzone", be more assertive, and stop crying over that a girl isn't attracted to you.

[Eric57]

Girls aren't attracted to the "bad guys" because they treat them bad. They are attracted to them being of their confidence and the way they carry themselves. Girls want a guy who is confident and I'm not trying to stereotype here, but that is typically why the "nice guys" tend to get overlooked. They want to blame it on the fact that they are "too nice," but that's not the problem. I can guarantee you that the more confident you are, the more likely you are to get a girl. Trust me on that.

[Elysium]

Hey, hey, hey, news flash! Being a decent human being which everyone should be doesn't mean you should get a date me pass for being nice, have you thought of how the "Mean guys" carry there selves compared how you carry your self as the "Nice guy", the reason they get girls because they figured out that friendzone is not a zone the girl just doesn't like you it's like me saying because the stereotype of black people being all thugs and because I'm not a thug I should get a partner more easily. Keep being nice stop believing in the "Friendzone", be more assertive, and stop crying over that a girl isn't attracted to you.

Girls aren't attracted to the "bad guys" because they treat them bad. They are attracted to them being of their confidence and the way they carry themselves. Girls want a guy who is confident and I'm not trying to stereotype here, but that is typically why the "nice guys" tend to get overlooked. They want to blame it on the fact that they are "too nice," but that's not the problem. I can guarantee you that the more confident you are, the more likely you are to get a girl. Trust me on that.
Both of these posts. A million times this. These two have put it very well. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities that anyone can have, and trust me, resenting girls for not being attracted to the "nice guys" will definitely not get you anywhere. It is not your place to judge a girl's relationship. It is your place to respect her choices, unless she's in danger (say, in an abusive relationship or something).

[Elanor]

Both of these posts. A million times this. These two have put it very well. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities that anyone can have, and trust me, resenting girls for not being attracted to the "nice guys" will definitely not get you anywhere. It is not your place to judge a girl's relationship. It is your place to respect her choices, unless she's in danger (say, in an abusive relationship or something).
Actually, I wrote pretty much the exactly same thing as "these two" members. :what:

Oh well, those members' points reflect exactly what I also tried to tell the topic creator.

[Elysium]

Actually, I wrote pretty much the exactly same thing as "these two" members. :what:

Oh well, those members' points reflect exactly what I also tried to tell the topic creator.
Whoops, sorry, you're absolutely right. I must've overlooked it by accident. :headache: Apologies.

[lyhom]

Taking this one point at a time...

All I ever see is girls absolutely in love with guys that are horrible to them or just don't treat them nicely.

1. People have different comfort zones. What would probably be seen as horrible by one person can be seen as joking or even slightly affectionate to another.

2. I doubt these people would present themselves as assholes at first, so who's to say that they would have fallen in love with them knowing full well that they weren't going to treat them well, and who's to say that they were/are going to be in that relationship for long?

When I was younger I'd have happily believed it was immaturity and girls would grow to appreciate someone being nice to them, but it just isn't that way.

Being nice isn't the only thing you need to get people interested in you, kid.

Also, saying that the girls who aren't interested in you aren't appreciating someone being nice to them doesn't sound that "nice" to me. In fact, it sounds more pretentious and entitled, if anything.

I tried being nice and always there for my ex and she got to the point where she said she loved me but she never treated me more than a friend.

Isn't still at least being friends with your ex a good thing?

Also you easily get friendzoned by being nice.

Isn't still at least being friends with [-]your ex[/-] the girl you asked out a good thing?

All I want is someone to love me and I want to treat them correctly but no girl ever seems to want to love a guy being nice to her.

Then be patient and you'll find someone.

In the meantime, don't make posts like the one I'm responding to, they just make you look like an entitled brat who's upset that he isn't getting girls immediately.

[Natalie97]

Um well, one guy who is a bit of a "jerk" at my school - since he frequently dumps girls without caring about them that much - seems to get away with it because he is amazingly attractive compared to the other guys here.
Maybe the girls at my school care more about pure looks than most others, but he has a big advantage in that he is both taller and much more muscular than all the other guys here (he is like 6'7 and probably weighs almost 300 lbs or something like that), so he stands out a lot.
And he also has a really pretty face, so that combination makes a lot of girls go crazy - and I have to admit that I find him really hot to look at myself. :P
But like I said, he has the advantage that he is so dramatically taller and more powerful-looking than all other guys at my school, and he also has a very strong charisma and self-confidence, so he outclasses the other guys in the overall hotness department.
Basically, he knows that most girls at school desire him, at least physically, and he just lets them approach him and ask him out, then they are his girlfriends until he gets tired of them and picks some other willing girl in the bunch, and this probably makes him really cocky.
When he passes a group of girls they will very often be like "hiii ;)", or stare at him and giggle, and they act like this all the time around him, and he knows it.
It doesn't seem to matter if he is slightly unpolite to them either, if some really shy girl tries to talk to him and he looks bored and irritated then she will just smile and giggle even more and be like "oh, em..." and ask him out as soon as possible.
I think I have even seen him spank a girl's butt once and she just screamed a little, checked who it was, and when she saw him she was just like "haha, what are you up to? :whoops:" and laughed like crazy together with her friends.
He can literally get sex from a lot of the girls without doing anything whatsoever himself, simply because he is the only super-hot guy at the entire school - he just... exists, accepts dates and then lets the girls take it as far as they want, like sit close next to him, try to give him an intimate kiss and such things.

My guess is that those other girls are so allured by his incredible looks and desire his body so much that they forget about everything else and hit on him anyway until they get him, even though they know they will be dumped when he has had his fun with them.
I dare not hit on him myself, since I really don't want to be hurt, but sometimes I am tempted to try something anyway, since he is really amazingly irresistible, despite his "jerk" behaviour.

[clueless_one]

I don't see why girls care if you're nice. All I ever see is girls absolutely in love with guys that are horrible to them or just don't treat them nicely. When I was younger I'd have happily believed it was immaturity and girls would grow to appreciate someone being nice to them, but it just isn't that way.

I tried being nice and always there for my ex and she got to the point where she said she loved me but she never treated me more than a friend. Also you easily get friendzoned by being nice. All I want is someone to love me and I want to treat them correctly but no girl ever seems to want to love a guy being nice to her. When I say nice I mean trying to be thoughtful, generous and courteous.

Does being nice ever work?

Yes, I'm with you, always think girls go for the dick head guys thinking that girls just want to be treated as shit and not be cared for. I care about everyone, not just girls. Treat everyone with respect cause thats the way I was taught by my parents.

How I feel with girls, I tell myself all girls don't care about me because I'm a nice guy. Sometimes I feel so what, they are missing out on being with a nice guy and being with someone who will care for them, be there for them. Do you think a dick head guy who treats everyone like shit will be there for the girl if they have been in a car accident and are in hospital, or seriously sick and will be there helping her parents look after her. NO!, or very rarely. The NICE GUYS will do things like that. I would do that definitely. Be there for her and care for her.

My advice, be yourself don't change. Many, if not all girls are stupid and will go for the dick head guys. But a few want someone who will be there and care for them, thats where nice guys come in. Just be yourself. :)

[Christen]

i can only say to the "nice guys" out there - tell us what you feel
the reason "the assholes get all the girls" is they are not afraid to ask.
Worst that can happen she rejects you what would be the same as it was without asking.

who fights can lose ......who doesn't fight has already lost

[clueless_one]

i can only say to the "nice guys" out there - tell us what you feel
the reason "the assholes get all the girls" is they are not afraid to ask.
Worst that can happen she rejects you what would be the same as it was without asking.

who fights can lose ......who doesn't fight has already lost

I'm a nice guy and I'm fine with being rejected. Its just the fact that I tell girls I like them, they reject me and end the friendship. One thing that I've had enough of and which hurts the most. I mean, I was also shy previously so that might have made things more difficult. But now with me trying to break my shyness and trying to be more bold than afraid, with the current girl I like I placed my hand on the middle area of her lower back in a caring way. She looked over her shoulder to see who it was, saw me, looked down and possibly smiled (I mean why else would she try to hide her face behind her shoulder, also I overheard her say she is shy).

Sometimes you just need to take risks if you want a relationship. Like I said I'm fine being rejected but its losing a friend which is the most difficult, and impacts badly on my confidence which reduces any chance of me starting a relationship.