my parents are getting a divorce

[Babs]

I was helping my mom make dinner when she told me and my sister that they were over. I wasn't sad or angry, because I saw it coming a mile away and honestly, if they aren't happy, I don't want them to feel obligated to stay in a marriage they don't want to be in.
I don't know when they're going to get the process going. Once they have some money, I think, which might be a while. But its over.
I don't really know what to think. Of course I would love for them to have worked it out fine but they didnt , and that's ok. Its just that they've been married for 27 years, so its gonna be so weird...
I don't really know how I feel about it. O.o

[Desuetude]

Its okay to not know how to feel right now, you're going into the unknown since they've never been separated before. Some good advice I can give you is during the process tell them how you feel, always make known how you're coping and whether you're happy with the arrangements made. Its not just going to be hard on them but doubley hard on you since (I assume) you're still going to be in both of their lives.

I mean my dad ended up living with his mum for 3 years before he found a house so that might be an option for yours. Its going to be a stressful process, nothing about divorce is easy and it takes a longgggg time to get it all processed by the court. You're being extremely mature about it and I'm sure your parents appreciate that a lot. Honestly just give it time and you'll adapt to it, I can't imagine my parents back together now. I mean what I deal with now is hard but the screaming matches aren't better so if they're in a hostile relationship separation is probably the best idea because it would probably only get worse.

[Cognizant]

Its okay to not know how to feel right now, you're going into the unknown since they've never been separated before. Some good advice I can give you is during the process tell them how you feel, always make known how you're coping and whether you're happy with the arrangements made. Its not just going to be hard on them but doubley hard on you since (I assume) you're still going to be in both of their lives.

I cannot stress enough how important this is. To be fair, I tuned out of my family life when the post-divorce drama ensued, but there were times where things would be so upsetting to me that I would tell my parents that "this is how I feel about it, and this needs to happen/this needs to change or I'm leaving."

Also, I can't say how bad the divorce is going to be, but there's a chance that you might end up being the middle man in communicating with your parents. When my parents divorced, they pretty much refused to talk directly to each other for a long time. Even today (2 years later) they still don't communicate face to face unless absolutely needed, and it would require my intervention to get the message across for simple things such as "when can I come visit" or more complex things such as my mom asking dad for money. It's really fucking annoying, so if they do start to do that I would lay down the fact that you will not help out (if so desired) early on otherwise it will likely cause more drama.

[Babs]

I mean my dad ended up living with his mum for 3 years before he found a house so that might be an option for yours. Its going to be a stressful process, nothing about divorce is easy and it takes a longgggg time to get it all processed by the court.

I can't imagine how they're ever going to not live together. They don't have the money for it right now, and until my brother moves out (which he's trying to do, but it may take a while) they're still sleeping in the same bed until my dad can take my brother's bedroom. My mom has no near relatives to stay with (I don't think she speaks with any of them often) and I don't think she can get a stable job, or maybe she doesn't think she is able to.
I don't know what living arrangements will be like.

[Desuetude]

I can't imagine how they're ever going to not live together. They don't have the money for it right now, and until my brother moves out (which he's trying to do, but it may take a while) they're still sleeping in the same bed until my dad can take my brother's bedroom. My mom has no near relatives to stay with (I don't think she speaks with any of them often) and I don't think she can get a stable job, or maybe she doesn't think she is able to.
I don't know what living arrangements will be like.
Do you know that this is definitely going to be a divorce. I mean the first stage is separation and I had a friend whose parents got separated for a year and then decided they were happy and went back to living together.

This is definitely nothing for you to worry about though. Please don't stress yourself out with where one of your parents are going to be living. There's enough for you to deal with just trying to comprehend the change in your life but make sure you're not getting worked up over things that shouldn't even have to involve you. That's for them to sort out, not you. I mean from the age of 8-11 I got dragged round estate agents every weekend and taken to houses after school, it just frustrated me really and it must be worse when you're older and really get what's going on.

[Babs]

Do you know that this is definitely going to be a divorce. I mean the first stage is separation and I had a friend whose parents got separated for a year and then decided they were happy and went back to living together.

This is definitely nothing for you to worry about though. Please don't stress yourself out with where one of your parents are going to be living. There's enough for you to deal with just trying to comprehend the change in your life but make sure you're not getting worked up over things that shouldn't even have to involve you. That's for them to sort out, not you. I mean from the age of 8-11 I got dragged round estate agents every weekend and taken to houses after school, it just frustrated me really and it must be worse when you're older and really get what's going on.

From what my mom told me, she said that they both wanted a divorce and will get one as soon as possible. They seem to be on good terms -- at least they hold it together around other people -- but other than that, I'm pretty sure they'll go through with it eventually. I think there's always a possibility of reconciliation, but I don't know the future, so I can't say for sure.
I'm not worried about where I'm going to live. I just think it will be weird, the two of them having to live together for a very long time when there's no love between them.

[Blood]

My parents have been saying they're going to get divorced for the past 8 years. The closest they've come to it is living in separate houses for about a month.

Don't believe anything until it actually happens. Divorces are costly, and if they don't have any money at the moment, they're not in the position to get divorced.