Halp!

[DerpADerpDerp]

Hey guys, my name is Ian, I'm a reasonably healthy 14 year old male. I seem to look my age (I may be a bit chubby :lol: ) yet often people I encounter in public treat me like a really stupid 7-year-old kid. It drives me bonkers! Whenever I go to the dentist people call me "sweetie" or "sweetheart", and whenever I go out to dinner with my family the waitress asks me if I want a kids menu. Also, in public, adults smile at me as if I'm really stupid. To top things off, the nurses at the doctors office ask my parents questions that I can clearly answer. NO, I am not short, I'm really tall for my age. YES, I do have a vaguely juvenile appearance because I have a somewhat round face. YES, My voice is deeper and I'm going through puberty. I don't get it! I'm actually very smart, I talk a lot, and I feel like I'm a young adult at heart. It also pisses me off that people call me "sweetie" and such because I am NOT SWEET! I can get angry as hell, and I listen to Meshuggah! :metal: (Can't see how people would see that, but I had it happen to me when I was wearing my Slayer shirt...) Anyway, help would be appreciated.

[Second Chance]

What you describe something a lot of had to go through well into senior year of high school, and you are not alone with your feelings. As any normal teenager with a pulse you want to be treated as an equal to the adults, but the fact remains that though you may think you look older than you did only a couple of years ago you still look younger to everyone else. This is not your fault, and nearly all of us have the same problem well until 18 (and some until 21).

My suggestion is that instead of getting upset is to take things in a positive way and realize that especially to older people they are not going to have the skills to distinguish you from younger kids. Instead of getting upset you can say nicely, "Thanks for the kids menu, but I'll take the adult one because I'm in 8th grade or high school." It's not like folks are going out of their way to get you, and you have to understand that the people you describe do not know you and are making honest mistakes. Even if someone is calling you sweetie or something along those lines, then it is not like they are putting you down but rather are trying to be friendly and make you feel comfortable. As a teenager you are going through that stage where you want to be treated all adult, but you have to remember that you are in that weird zone right now where you are kind of half child/half adult meaning that you are still in two worlds at once. I would not get discouraged because at least people are taking the time to try to make you feel nice though admittedly they are going about it the wrong way. Again, try to take the positive side of the interaction and realize that when folks call you "sweetie" that it is to be friendly and not to put you down as a person.

As for your doctor's office, remember that doctors face all sorts of legal pressures nowadays, and you better believe the doctor and his/her staff are going to approach your parents first and foremost. Folks under the age of 18 cannot make their own decisions legally, and the doctor's office has to protect itself by talking with your parents. Obviously, if you have a personal problem that you want to discuss with the doctor, then you can ask for privacy. However, in the end of the day until you're 18 your parents are responsible for you which is why what happened to you at the doctor's office happened.

In short, I am guessing no later than the end of your sophomore year of high school when you are well into your growth spurt and start to look more adult like that your issue will go away. Just remember that no one is putting you down, and just go with the flow especially if folks make an honest mistake such as the waitress or staff at places where you go.