Division of the gay community

[Mastretta]

How do you feel of the division of gay men though "Masculinity" & "Femininity"

Please no arguments that "it's just a preference"

[Blood]

How do you feel of the division of gay men though "Masculinity" & "Femininity"

Please no arguments that "it's just a preference"


So should people who believe it's a preference just not respond to this or...?

[Lovelife090994]

How do you feel of the division of gay men though "Masculinity" & "Femininity"

Please no arguments that "it's just a preference"


Um, it is a preference. Some men like masculine men, some men like feminine men. Some feminine guys don't want another feminine guy and that's their choice. Honestly if you want to talk about LGBT divisions, talk about the religious versus the non, or the LGBT's views on bisexuality and transgender people. Or even transgender views of those who don't date transgendered people.

[Mastretta]

So should people who believe it's a preference just not respond to this or...?
I just mean don't use it as a reason to reject a whole group of people; at least give me a real reason.

Um, it is a preference. Some men like masculine men, some men like feminine men. Some feminine guys don't want another feminine guy and that's their choice. Honestly if you want to talk about LGBT divisions, talk about the religious versus the non, or the LGBT's views on bisexuality and transgender people. Or even transgender views of those who don't date transgendered people.

I just feel when people say it's a preference it's just for a physical/sexual connection but not in the way of emotional. Because regardless who the person is you would still have a emotional bound no matter what. I just wanted to see how others view it because I feel it's like its having a total of 100 people and one of them is the person you most likely would fall in love with but you say only masculine or feminine you maybe cut that person out without even speaking a word to them leaving you with maybe 40 guys left, and out of the 40 you only view 10 attractive to you but those 10 aren't attracted you or only want you as a one night stand leaving you with no one and alone because of your "Preference" And I don't like getting on the subject of religion, also I do support trans people and I try not to go there because people say triggering things and I wouldn't wanna be the cause of some seeing hurtful things even if it wasn't meant to be.

Please do not double post, instead use the 'edit' button. Also, please do not post in un-readable colors. ~Typhlosion

[Blood]

I just mean don't use it as a reason to reject a whole group of people; at least give me a real reason.

Well, it is a preference. I don't believe you're rejecting a select group a people just because you're attracted to a different group. We are human and our attractions are specific and individualized for the most part. Is that a sufficient reason?

[Lovelife090994]

I just feel when people say it's a preference it's just for a physical/sexual connection but not in the way of emotional. Because regardless who the person is you would still have a emotional bound no matter what. I just wanted to see how others view it because I feel it's like its having a total of 100 people and one of them is the person you most likely would fall in love with but you say only masculine or feminine you maybe cut that person out without even speaking a word to them leaving you with maybe 40 guys left, and out of the 40 you only view 10 attractive to you but those 10 aren't attracted you or only want you as a one night stand leaving you with no one and alone because of your "Preference" And I don't like getting on the subject of religion, also I do support trans people and I try not to go there because people say triggering things and I wouldn't wanna be the cause of some seeing hurtful things even if it wasn't meant to be.


You can't force people to fall in love with others. Preference is preference be it physical or emotional. Physically I am not into transgenders, emotionally I am not into them either. I am not transphobic for saying trans people are not my prefence. And what of it if someone likes sexual relationships? Let them have it. And hurtful things? You can address topics without being hurtful.

[Perfectly Flawed]

How do you feel of the division of gay men though "Masculinity" & "Femininity"

Please no arguments that "it's just a preference"


I generally am more attracted to masculine men than I am feminine men. That really is just a matter of preference, and that's a valid reason.

[Gamma Male]

I tend to be more attracted to masculine guys.

[Ben_Frost]

How do you feel of the division of gay men though "Masculinity" & "Femininity"

Please no arguments that "it's just a preference"


I thought I was the only one that had noticed this division, which is really sad because it's mostly promoted for sexual intercourse instead of actual relationships. From my personal experience, I was a very feminine guy and the guy I fell in love with was that way too, but I found out that it really didn't matter, I loved him and wanted him no matter what. Even though we were both "bottom" and "feminine" guys, it didn't matter to me.

Out of topic, I thought this topic was about the separation between discreet gay people and the scene people. Still, it's an interesting approach you're taking.

[phuckphace]

femininity is for females. the whole point of being gay is that...well ya know...I like dudes. if I wanted femininity I'd just go for women.

idk, but when a dude goes out of his way to act all flamboyant...no thanks. I'd honestly rather bang a girl (trufax)

[Karkat]

I'm usually more attracted to feminine girls

In the long run, it doesn't matter. Hell, I'm RARELY conventionally attracted to guys, but I definitely have the hots for one right now.

Honestly, it is a preference. But I feel gender roles give certain people certain unfair advantages.

Like for the most part, you take one look at me and expect me to be a lesbian (some days- I have a very antipodal sense of fashion...) because most heterosexual men aren't attracted to women who look like men

Ah, but then gay men aren't attracted to me either because I'm female

And while I am a lesbian for the most part, I'm at a disadvantage when I am attracted to a man, because there's a fair chance it won't be mutual.

And I've had more guys admit being attracted to me than girls, so I spend a lot of time feeling generally unattractive. But I'm bigender, so I can kinda take the fact that most people won't be attracted to me anyways.

However, if gender roles weren't as big of an issue, I probably wouldn't be so resigned to feeling like I'm unattractive, I guess.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

It is just a preference, I'm not discrimination or anything, I just don't like feminine guys, I like my men bigger and hairier than most, though (that's kind of my gay camp).

[Mastretta]

I thought I was the only one that had noticed this division, which is really sad because it's mostly promoted for sexual intercourse instead of actual relationships. From my personal experience, I was a very feminine guy and the guy I fell in love with was that way too, but I found out that it really didn't matter, I loved him and wanted him no matter what. Even though we were both "bottom" and "feminine" guys, it didn't matter to me.

Out of topic, I thought this topic was about the separation between discreet gay people and the scene people. Still, it's an interesting approach you're taking.
Someone who gets it,It's just saying that a girl must have red hair for you to date her, the people who say they only like masculine guys are the guys who will find the love their life but because he is feminine they wouldn't even give him a chance, buuut... You know it's a just a preference.


I'm usually more attracted to feminine girls

In the long run, it doesn't matter. Hell, I'm RARELY conventionally attracted to guys, but I definitely have the hots for one right now.

Honestly, it is a preference. But I feel gender roles give certain people certain unfair advantages.

Like for the most part, you take one look at me and expect me to be a lesbian (some days- I have a very antipodal sense of fashion...) because most heterosexual men aren't attracted to women who look like men

Ah, but then gay men aren't attracted to me either because I'm female

And while I am a lesbian for the most part, I'm at a disadvantage when I am attracted to a man, because there's a fair chance it won't be mutual.

And I've had more guys admit being attracted to me than girls, so I spend a lot of time feeling generally unattractive. But I'm bigender, so I can kinda take the fact that most people won't be attracted to me anyways.

However, if gender roles weren't as big of an issue, I probably wouldn't be so resigned to feeling like I'm unattractive, I guess.
And that's is the point I'm also trying to make being born a biological doesn't mean you are suppose to be masculine and being a biological female doesn't mean you should be feminine.

[Emerald Dream]

If you want to make personal comments, then please do so in PM. Keep it out of the actual debate section, please.

[Vlerchan]

I have no idea why we are demonizing individual preference here.

Especially in regards to ones position in the masculine-feminine paradigm; which impacts massively on ones personality - and not being into certain personalities is completely normal I would think: it's a lot different than avoiding someone because of a certain physical feature (which I'm fine with either.)

[Gamma Male]

idk, but when a dude goes out of his way to act all flamboyant...no thanks.

I seriously doubt any of the stereotypical gay feminine men who you're referring to are going out of their way to be flamboyant. When someone acts like that that's usually just because, well, that's who they are. That's just their personality. If you don't like dating guys like that fine, honestly I don't either. But the way you worded that makes it sound sorta like you think they're making a conscious effort to act like that when they in almost all cases they aren't.

[phuckphace]

I seriously doubt any of the stereotypical gay feminine men who you're referring to are going out of their way to be flamboyant. When someone acts like that that's usually just because, well, that's who they are. That's just their personality. If you don't like dating guys like that fine, honestly I don't either. But the way you worded that makes it sound sorta like you think they're making a conscious effort to act like that when they in almost all cases they aren't.

idk man, just by listening I can tell it's a conscious act every time (sounds distinct from a genuine speech impediment.) it also appeared pretty recently, since the lisp and telltale mannerisms weren't very common among gay dudes back in the day (50+ years ago). gay culture back then centered around masculinity and "beef" was the dominate genre of gay porn. there's definitely been a trend in the other direction especially within the last decade, so being flamboyant is now "in". my theory anyway.

aside from that I don't understand how being gay would cause one's voice to change.

[Vlerchan]

I would presume it's down to a mixture of different hormones and modern non-suppression and then knock-on socialisation. It's been theorised that there's a stronger association between 'the voice' and gender non-conformity amongst males ( http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/HomePage/Class/Psy158H/PrevHonors/Z111/project.htm) than homosexuality per se though - there might be a psychological connection there and since gender non-conformity (uncloseted) is a lot more recent a phenomenon it might explain 'the voices' recent prevalence.

---

I must add that I do love how we dumbed femininity amongst men into men speaking in a higher pitched voice - avoiding literally everything else that's a lot more important in regards to their personalities.

[Gamma Male]

idk man, just by listening I can tell it's a conscious act every time (sounds distinct from a genuine speech impediment.) it also appeared pretty recently, since the lisp and telltale mannerisms weren't very common among gay dudes back in the day (50+ years ago). gay culture back then centered around masculinity and "beef" was the dominate genre of gay porn. there's definitely been a trend in the other direction especially within the last decade, so being flamboyant is now "in". my theory anyway.

aside from that I don't understand how being gay would cause one's voice to change.

Oh I know, I'm not saying that it isn't influenced by outside, sociological factors, just that it isn't really a conscious effort.

There is some truth to the feminine gay stereotype, but I have no idea why. I guess it would have something to do with a higher level of estrogen in gay men or something of the sort. And while higher levels of those "feminine" chemicals is inborn, how they manifest themselves in different behaviors has a lot to do with nurture and upbringing and societal influences. Not to mention that teenagers and even adults may try to(either consciously or unconsciously) mimic stereotypes they see in the media, and what the gay stereotype is has changed a lot over the years. I don't know. It's like 4am so forgive me if I'm not making any sense.

[Babs]

There's division like that everywhere.
Honestly there are muc more erious issues with the gay community than their preference for either masculine or feminine males.
Although I do often see gay people like "I hate flamboyant gays" or "I hate butch lesbians" or what have you, and I think people need to chill and mind their own business, in regards to whether or not someone chooses to present themselves in either a masculine or feminine way. It really doesn't matter that much.

[CosmicNoodle]

Personally I don't like feminine men, its a turn off for me, I like just normal guys.

[Babs]

Personally I don't like feminine men, its a turn off for me, I like just normal guys.

I don't mean to infer, but are you saying that men who are feminine are abnormal?

[Lovelife090994]

I don't mean to infer, but are you saying that men who are feminine are abnormal?

No, he means he likes an average guy that isn't feminine.

[CosmicNoodle]

I don't mean to infer, but are you saying that men who are feminine are abnormal?

Ahh no, I'm sorry but i now see how my wording could have made it look like I was saying that, theres nothing wrong with feminine men, it's just my poor wording, sorry.

[Babs]

Ahh no, I'm sorry but i now see how my wording could have made it look like I was saying that, theres nothing wrong with feminine men, it's just my poor wording, sorry.

Oh nah, your wording was fine. I was just asking because there are plenty of people who think so.

[CosmicNoodle]

Oh nah, your wording was fine. I was just asking because there are plenty of people who think so.

Well I suppose why I can see it, as men are for some reason portrayed as strong, manly men (ridiculous in my opinion), and anything other than that may seem alien to some people. But still I find the concept of men being manly, and women being womanly a little ridiculous, people should be allowed to be whatever they want, and not socially obligated into fitting role A or B, anyway, rant over.