Vannie
August 22nd, 2014, 07:19 PM
I put on a brave face, smile around family and act like nobody can touch the tough girl to others. But really, I'm cracking inside. I have no friends; I don't let people in because I'm scared of them hating me. I was bullied in grade school because I pretended to like a boy, so that my best friend wouldn't have to be embarrassed. Eventually, even she turned on me.
I've begged my parents to take me to therapists, but they call me a hypochondriac and an attention seeker. I've attempted suicide twice and, when I didn't die, had to clean myself up. I don't cut, but I scratch. People will call me names or yell at me, and I'll start scratching my arm so hard it bleeds. People question it less, and it doesn't scar as often.
I'm a T1 diabetic and everyone says I don't take care of myself. I'm perfectly healthy, but I'm not perfect, and I have to be. They constantly compare me to my aunt, also a T1, who is blind, paralyzed from the waist down, and given one year to live.
I'm just waiting for the day to come when it all boils over and I just get up the guts to kill myself. I'm just too afraid people will call me things after I die, weak and pathetic.
I've begged my parents to take me to therapists, but they call me a hypochondriac and an attention seeker. I've attempted suicide twice and, when I didn't die, had to clean myself up. I don't cut, but I scratch. People will call me names or yell at me, and I'll start scratching my arm so hard it bleeds. People question it less, and it doesn't scar as often.
I'm a T1 diabetic and everyone says I don't take care of myself. I'm perfectly healthy, but I'm not perfect, and I have to be. They constantly compare me to my aunt, also a T1, who is blind, paralyzed from the waist down, and given one year to live.
I'm just waiting for the day to come when it all boils over and I just get up the guts to kill myself. I'm just too afraid people will call me things after I die, weak and pathetic.