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Broken Toy
August 22nd, 2014, 05:51 PM
sorry this is a long story so if you're not in the mood for reading stop now. hope it's interesting:

So its year 8 (12-13) and i meet this girl, think she's nice and become friends straight away. carry on friend ship until end of year when i'm moved into her classes for year 9 (13-14) and are best friends the whole year. about half way through the year she gets in a relationship with a guy from the year above. it's fine for the first few months, they have some arguments but with my help on both sides since they're pretty awful at sorting out arguments they always stay together.

into year 10 and he's stopped her going out with us since he always thinks she cheats on him but she actually listens and stops going out at all. in the december of year 10 (england's school years are september to may) i begin to have feelings for her and tell her since i can trust her and she's understanding. obviously i cared about my best friend when she was with this control freak anyway but i knew this was bad. she does love me but as a brother. about a month after i started having feelings her boyfriend starts abusing her (also the first time i told her i loved her after i begged her to break up with him for her sake). this was when i started SH'ing to cope with the constant worry since we always talked after school and she would text me telling me she was going to his (the fact this was the first girl i ever had real feelings for didnt help since i hadnt been through anything like this). anyway, she's scared to break up with him but really does want to but instead (this is where things get confusing) she starts talking to another boy from the year above. she's not subtle and a lot of arguments were started because of this but he never finds out about it. as her best friend i know everything so i know when she's lying to her boyfriend to go to this other boys house and she tells me how she loves him and everything and i just hate the next couple months.

at around april she argues with the 2nd boyfriend as we called him (awful for me but i never told her) and she tells me whats going on. she tells me he's called her crying down the phone asking her to keep talking to him and says she feels awful. i try to explain that he is trying to control her and rang her crying so she would feel awful and she understands but keeps talking because 'she loves him'. roll on now.

a month ago she broke up with her boyfriend finally because he broke up with her after another petty argument and i finally made her see he wasnt worth going back to. the 2nd boyfriend she argued with and just stopped talking. coincidentally, we had work experience where she went to another school and started talking to one of the boys in our year from that school. she talks to me about how she has feelings for him and everything and it's somehow worse than the past year where she ended up with 2 boyfriends.

also a month ago i begin to have feelings for another girl but my feelings didnt go away for girl 1 and girl 2 also sees me as a brother. i now love and have feelings for 2 girls and i have no chance with either and its a vicious cycle.

how do i cope/get out of this because its killing me?

Gumleaf
August 24th, 2014, 05:48 AM
What is it that is exactly killing you? You know, I've been close to girls before and when you get close to people like that and you don't put up your own boundaries, it's normal to become very protective of them, and then develop feelings for them because of this. It's happened to me before, I started falling for a really close female friend, and then found out she was in a relationship with a really nasty guy who could charm and therefore could easily lure certain people. She didn't see or believe me when I warned her about him and sadly found out the hard way. But at the end of the day I was still there for her and she was my amazing friend. I get all this dude, but there is a saying people keep reminding me of and that is 'boyfriends/girlfriends come and go, but best friends are irreplaceable.' I think if you try and implant that attitude in your mind, it will make it easier to cope. Things will work out, you just have to put yourself in the best mindset for it.

Broken Toy
August 24th, 2014, 06:54 AM
thanks so much that was amazing advice and i feel better already knowing that i at least have some idea what to do. as i said, i just didnt know how to go about it because i havent had feelings like this before.

i wish someone told me that saying last year or something!


thanks again