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Karkat
August 19th, 2014, 11:51 PM
(I genuinely have no idea where to put this, sorry guys)

So it's been pretty hectic lately. (If you hadn't noticed, I haven't really been on lately. This is why.) A lot of things have happened in the past...Well, since the beginning of August anyways, so like three weeks.

Let's just say that I'm tired of my parents' bullshit, and I need to move out ASAP. And by ASAP I mean PLEASE, PLEASE within the next year. PLEASE by the end of 2015. I'm not picky. I can't move out for a few more months anyways (Go USA, I'd be considered a runaway for a while -_-).

I uh, I've got a few things that complicate that, though.

-Nowhere to go. I mean, my cousin has told me he's gonna try to help me...But that depends a lot on HIS situation, for one thing. I'm going to try to move up to Idaho to be by him, because frankly, I need to have someone close by. To hang out with. So I don't feel entirely alone in the world.

-No money. None. I wiped out my tax refund and savings because I needed to get things. I still need to get things. I've been saving up moolah to buy things I need to move out for a while now.

-Can't get a job. I'm forbidden to, at the moment, and even if I wasn't, I'm physically incapable without going through at least some physical therapy. A desk job is a MAYBE, but I'd need transport. RELIABLE transport. Also, I live in a tiny, dinky town, so.

-I need to be out of this town. This town is toxic, it's killing me, honestly, I need to be out of Utah entirely. I hope I'll be able to take the climate in Idaho, but hell, at least I'll have someone to be close to.

-My parents are generally uncooperative. Is that any surprise? I'm afraid that they're going to take away certain items- if not everything I own- on the technicality that since I'm a minor, it's their property. Is it just me, or does the legal system kinda screw over kids? Just a little? I mean, I know a lot of it's there for the protection of the child, and there ARE legal protections in place for minors...It just seems like we're treated as second-rate human beings if our parents/guardians suck ass, but aren't abusive enough/can't be proven to be abusive enough for the law to care/do anything about it.

Actually, while this MIGHT just be paranoia speaking...I'm kind of afraid they're gonna chase after me with the law if I don't do everything they want.

-I'm mentally and physically disabled. Working takes its toll on me. Life takes its toll on me. I can't function like a regular adult, because a lot of my health problems have been so badly neglected that when I was hospitalized and put on medical leave this year, I regressed. A lot. If 2013 was the year of the comeback for me, 2014...Was like the fall of an empire. Yeah. It's actually fairly embarrassing.


Anyways, it's just extremely complicated for me.

So er

I guess what I'm asking for is advice? Tips? So far, my plan, in its most basic form is to move from Southern Utah to Centralish Idaho.

Things I have working for me:

-Time. At least 8 months, most likely. I'm not even going to attempt to do anything before then.
-A car.
-Furniture, most items one needs to live on their own.
-I do know most of what I need to be out on my own. (How to do dishes, how to do laundry, how to cook, clean, mend, fix basic household items- including computers, I know some amount of gardening, I know basic first aid, I know some amount of financial stuff- I could probably figure out taxes again on my own tbh, etc.)
-Fucking determination, and a fair amount of patience, all things considered.

Things I have working against me:

-Time. Yeah. Hah.
-I can't drive well. I don't have a license, or even a permit. (though if I can get one soon, I can get my license RIGHT after I turn 18, no problems.)
-I still need some items, such as silverware, bedlinens, towels (you know, fairly simple stuff, but it'd be embarrassing to live without them. Especially towels. Yikes.)
-I will probably need a UHAUL, which costs MORE money, because I own a sedan. I don't think all my furniture is going to fit in there, and I've bought most of it, so I'd really like to not leave it behind.
-I will still have to pay for medication. I may not have to pay for therapy (though if I could go to therapy still, yeah, that'd be great), but it's not a good idea for me to be off my meds. So I'll also have to have a few appointments to make sure I don't screw myself over in that department, probably need to find a GP and therapist, as well as a psychologist, and god knows who else up there. I really hate that I'm going to have to move away so soon into the process of figuring all this out.

Ok, so now that we have the background crap out of the way, my plan(s).

Most acceptable:

1. Learn to drive, get driver's license.
2. Save up roughly 4-6k at LEAST.
3. Find a place to rent, and start job hunting in Idaho.
4. Rent a UHAUL, move up, etc.


Moderately acceptable:

(If my cousin has a place of his own, or I can move in with my family there)

1. Learn to drive, get driver's license.
2. Save up roughly 2-4k at LEAST.
3. Rent a UHAUL.
4. Rent a storage shed until I have my own place.
5. Move in with family for a while until I can get out on my own.
6. Move out into my own place.

or

1. Have a friend, or some family help me move up. Have an agreement worked out so I can pay them back for costs, etc.
2. Save up 3-5k at LEAST.
3. Rent a storage shed
4. Move in with family, etc.
5. Move out.


Last resorts:

1. Get a driver's license
2. Save up eh I dunno, a few k
3. Rent a storage shed
4. Live in my car until a better arrangement arises (In Idaho)

or

1. Rely heavily on a family member or friend for assistance until I can move out on my own
2. Pay them back


The last two were somewhat sarcastic, but honestly, at this point, they're more feasible options than spending an unnecessary amount of time with my toxic parents.

And no, this isn't a spur of the moment decision. I've been counting down for a while now, planning carefully, assessing my situation. Which honestly depresses me, because let's face it, I'm kinda trapped. But I'll figure it out somehow.

I just... Any advice would be appreciated, because I'm at my wit's end right now. I'm not even kidding.

Jack russell dad
August 20th, 2014, 09:05 PM
Just make sure you have people to fall back on as friends.i know how you feel. Cause im gay, my step dad said i was a lazy mooch and he was kicking me out as soon as he could

Blood
August 20th, 2014, 09:22 PM
Well it seems like you've covered all of the points, or at least you know what you're getting yourself into here.

You said you can't get a job now, so what about in the future? What happens when you move out? You have to think about the future, and when you're in a situation like this, every little detail counts.

If I were you I would try to focus on saving whatever money you have now and getting your license. When you have that covered, start looking for jobs in the area you're looking to move to. Because let's face the facts folks, you can't do much in this world without money. Next, I would start looking at available apartments and the average cost of rent for your future area (assuming you don't move in with your family). Either way, start looking around for jobs now, it's never too early.

Living in cars is starting to become illegal in most states, so I'd rule that option out if I were you. I hope this helps. I'm kinda just throwing what I would do out there.

Karkat
August 20th, 2014, 11:36 PM
Just make sure you have people to fall back on as friends.i know how you feel. Cause im gay, my step dad said i was a lazy mooch and he was kicking me out as soon as he could

Well it seems like you've covered all of the points, or at least you know what you're getting yourself into here.

You said you can't get a job now, so what about in the future? What happens when you move out? You have to think about the future, and when you're in a situation like this, every little detail counts.

If I were you I would try to focus on saving whatever money you have now and getting your license. When you have that covered, start looking for jobs in the area you're looking to move to. Because let's face the facts folks, you can't do much in this world without money. Next, I would start looking at available apartments and the average cost of rent for your future area (assuming you don't move in with your family). Either way, start looking around for jobs now, it's never too early.

Living in cars is starting to become illegal in most states, so I'd rule that option out if I were you. I hope this helps. I'm kinda just throwing what I would do out there.

Thanks guys. :) (Also, @Jack Russell Dad, good luck to you. I'm sorry he's like that.)

MindyGunton
August 22nd, 2014, 03:32 AM
Its true, we need friends to help us. Also in case you decide to move in with friend and have to pay, decide on a good agreement. There are a lot of rules applying to home moving and renovations. Hope you find a solution, good luck.

Karkat
August 23rd, 2014, 03:07 AM
Its true, we need friends to help us. Also in case you decide to move in with friend and have to pay, decide on a good agreement. There are a lot of rules applying to home moving and renovations. Hope you find a solution, good luck.

I agree, it's important to know where you stand when you move in with someone. Definitely making a written contract.

Thanks :)

Stronk Serb
August 23rd, 2014, 04:03 AM
Always have a fall back plan. I wanted to move out but I sorted the problems out with my parents, sort of. We are still dysfunctional, but we manage, sort of.Good luck on your moving out and entering the world of the adults.

Karkat
August 23rd, 2014, 04:04 PM
Always have a fall back plan. I wanted to move out but I sorted the problems out with my parents, sort of. We are still dysfunctional, but we manage, sort of.Good luck on your moving out and entering the world of the adults.

Ehh, I'm fairly confident that there's no hope in sorting things out enough with my parents for me to continue to live with them for any extended period of time.

I will, thanks.