I'm Not Even Sure Who I Am Anymore

[Maggie5330]

I don't know if I'd call myself depressed, or what to even call it..
I've always been this way. I'm happy, but in a way that there's still room to actually feel it. I laugh with my friends, and I smile when I'm with my boyfriend. I feel happy, but it just kinda feels like it's a show that I'm not even trying to perform. It's automatic. I might not even have been listening to a joke, or not watching the movie but when someone else laughs, I laugh. I'm not trying to make myself sound pompous, or that my problems are worse than other peoples, because honestly, I don't have anything horrible happening in my life, or have happened in my life.
I don't have an excuse to feel like this. I just feel like everyone else has found their happiness. They're filled 100% and I'm stuck here sitting half empty, angry at everything, not wanting to even leave my bed, not wanting to read my favorite books, not wanting to play my favorite games because SOMEONE, ANYONE, might say something about it. I have no motivation to do anything I used to love..
Sorry for my venting, I just have no where else to put this, so thanks for reading, I guess ^^.

[Celtics]

I understand and it sucks, you just have to figure out yourself and what makes you happy. (I'm still trying on that) People have always told me that you are the only one that can make yourself happy.

[darkangel91]

Sounds like my experience. Nobody in my family would $ay I'm depressed - I seem perfectly normal on the outside. But sometimes the laughter, the happiness, seems hollow, fake, like I'm just pretending, deceiving myself into believing that everything is okay... sometimes I get the feeling that everything is so fake, everything I base my identity on is made up, unreal, and I don't know who I am anymore... is that how you feel?

My advice: when you feel confused or depressed or like everything is phony, like every smile is a lie, take a deep breath and ask yourself: what is real? What do I believe in? What, in my life, my beliefs, my soul, cannot be doubted? When you find those things, hold on to them. Focus on them. You'll feel better. For me, it is my spiritual belief system, the Dream, and my fervent belief that I am destined to find my soul mate. Those two things are in my mind undeniable truths. When I feel depressed or crazy, like nothing is real, I remind myself of those things, and it makes me feel better.

Hope this helps. :)