Are humans monogamous?

[Lovelife090994]

Are humans monogamous or do we all differ on that?
I have no clue but I've always wondered why for some monogamy works and for others it just never does. Marriage, open-relationships, polygamy, polyamory, all different, but is neither the norm or normal?

[Cognizant]

It might just be me, but i think the question is phrased a bit awkwardly. Are you asking if you think humans are predetermined to be monogamous? Because I'm pretty sure everyone is different on the matter of relationships and commitment and is affected my many different environmental factors. On a taboo level, I think humans in western cultures are expected to be monogamous - but, as I said, that doesn't necessarily mean that it follows suit with other areas in the world or with how people actually feel.

[phuckphace]

yes, humans are pair-bonding, barring certain mental illnesses. that's why the man/woman arrangement arose independently in cultures separated by time and/or distance.

[Gamma Male]

Back in our hunter gatherer day we were pack animals. The young were raised by the entire tribe. I'm not sure if we mated for life, but it seems unlikely.

Now things our different. We can mate with and live with whoever we want without having to worry about survival related restraints. If you wanna be in a monogamous, loving relationship and bare 8 kids, that's fine. If you want to be sexually deviant and childless, I don't have any problem with that either. Y'know, to each his own and shit.

[Vlerchan]

yes, humans are pair-bonding, barring certain mental illnesses. that's why the man/woman arrangement arose independently in cultures separated by time and/or distance.
Lots of polygamous cultures have existed.

In 1998 the University of Wisconsin surveyed more than a thousand societies. Of these just 186 were monogamous. Some 453 had occasional polygyny and in 588 more it was quite common. Just four featured polyandry. Some anthropologists believe that polygamy has been the norm through human history. In 2003, New Scientist magazine suggested that, until 10,000 years ago, most children had been sired by comparatively few men. Variations in DNA, it said, showed that the distribution of X chromosomes suggested that a few men seem to have had greater input into the gene pool than the rest. By contrast most women seemed to get to pass on their genes. Humans, like their primate forefathers, it said, were at least "mildly polygynous".

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/africa/the-big-question-whats-the-history-of-polygamy-and-how-serious-a-problem-is-it-in-africa-1858858.html

In general, it was just the men who were polygamous because it worked to producing the most children.

However, In some cultures, woman did engage in it - an example being the Tibetans in Nepals.

[TapDancer]

Biologically, no I don't believe so. In order to accommodate our high sex drives, our primal ancestors I believe would have engaged in a lot of sex with each other. Today, I believe many people still feel these urges and they might also have some psychological reasoning behind their decision as well not to be monogamous, like having trouble with commitment.

Since humans evolved and became intelligent, many ideas have spawned about relationships and sexuality that have been open to interpretation. The best example of this is religion. It is religion that for the most part that teaches that polygamy is wrong. But it ignores it does ignore instinct. So physically, no I don't think we were designed to be monogamous. But in contemporary times, ethically we are taught to be monogamous. But as for how much that ethical teaching is adhered to, is entirely up to the individual.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

I believe that it could go either way, but it depends on whether one's intentions are Romance Based or Sex Based, One who's is romantic will tend to bond with one partner and want to stick to them, until they're no longer suitable, or dead. However, sexual people, do not believe in being tied down, for they wish to hump whomever they please without restriction.
Of course, sometimes romantics try to hop into the sexual realm and vice versa, but for the most part everyone stays where they feel comfortable.

[sqishy]

In my opinion most of us are fundamentally polygamous

[morsar]

As monogamous as we choose to be...?

[JustJordan]

I don't think the human race as a whole can be confined to just one of these words. In some places monogamy is the norm while in other societies polygamy etc. is more common. Everyone is different.

[tovaris]

Yes of course we are!

[Body odah Man]

Are humans monogamous or do we all differ on that?
I have no clue but I've always wondered why for some monogamy works and for others it just never does. Marriage, open-relationships, polygamy, polyamory, all different, but is neither the norm or normal?

Good question. I too wonder about the answer.

[Lovelife090994]

Good question. I too wonder about the answer.

It's hard to answer.

[Perfectly Flawed]

It depends on the person, but in modern Western society it is generally looked down upon to be polygamous which causes kids to be raised with the idea that they should stay with one person. Since many of us are raised with this idea we like to assume humanity is monogamous, but it's interesting considering many people while in relationships find others attractive and form close bonds with them that are sensual if we don't have at least a hint of polygamous behaviour inside of us.

I don't believe it can be determined whether humans are monogamous or polygamous because I don't think there is a concrete answer to the question. Every person experiences varying degrees of each, and it's difficult to take into account the factors that contributed to ones ideas behind sensual relationships.

I don't believe we will ever find a solid answer supported by the overwhelming amount of information we find on this topic.

[Lovelife090994]

It depends on the person, but in modern Western society it is generally looked down upon to be polygamous which causes kids to be raised with the idea that they should stay with one person. Since many of us are raised with this idea we like to assume humanity is monogamous, but it's interesting considering many people while in relationships find others attractive and form close bonds with them that are sensual if we don't have at least a hint of polygamous behaviour inside of us.

I don't believe it can be determined whether humans are monogamous or polygamous because I don't think there is a concrete answer to the question. Every person experiences varying degrees of each, and it's difficult to take into account the factors that contributed to ones ideas behind sensual relationships.

I don't believe we will ever find a solid answer supported by the overwhelming amount of information we find on this topic.

Good point.

[tovaris]

It depends on the person, but in modern Western society it is generally looked down upon to be polygamous which causes kids to be raised with the idea that they should stay with one person. Since many of us are raised with this idea we like to assume humanity is monogamous, but it's interesting considering many people while in relationships find others attractive and form close bonds with them that are sensual if we don't have at least a hint of polygamous behaviour inside of us.

I don't believe it can be determined whether humans are monogamous or polygamous because I don't think there is a concrete answer to the question. Every person experiences varying degrees of each, and it's difficult to take into account the factors that contributed to ones ideas behind sensual relationships.

I don't believe we will ever find a solid answer supported by the overwhelming amount of information we find on this topic.

Whel i think our fiziologie gives us the answer, we are built and designrd to change our maiting partners often...

[DeadEyes]

In my opinion most of us are fundamentally polygamous

Agreed,
just watch soap-operas, always fighting over somebody, if only they could all get together (there would be no more show), hehe.

[Karkat]

This is really too complicated to merit a yes/no answer. :P It depends on the person, and the culture they're in, along with other environmental factors.

[DeadEyes]

With all the cheating going on, I think it's obvious humans are looking to be with more than 1 partner.

[Horatio Nelson]

This is really too complicated to merit a yes/no answer. :P It depends on the person, and the culture they're in, along with other environmental factors.

I'm with Ren.

[DeadEyes]

This is really too complicated to merit a yes/no answer. :P It depends on the person, and the culture they're in, along with other environmental factors.

I'm with Ren.

So you believe people don't tend to be cheating no matter what?

[Miserabilia]

So you believe people don't tend to be cheating no matter what?

I think ren actualy said it depends on the circumstances. So she's not saying that people are cheating no matter what, but correct me if I'm wrong.

[DeadEyes]

I think ren actualy said it depends on the circumstances. So she's not saying that people are cheating no matter what, but correct me if I'm wrong.

I am the one saying people are cheating no what, no matter the circumstances.

[Miserabilia]

I am the one saying people are cheating no what, no matter the circumstances.

ohh sory misread your post. Okay.

[sweetcake]

My religion allows men to have multiple marriages, yet women are obliged to be monogamous. I for one, disagree with this, I could never share the person I love with someone else. And it isn't fair that women couldn't do the same-not that I want to be a poligamy. But it's still unfair that men has more priviliges.

[riverboy]

Humans are not.

[Karkat]

So you believe people don't tend to be cheating no matter what?

That's not even close to what I said. I said it's too complicated to merit a single broad answer. This isn't a black and white topic; a black and white answer is ineffective at answering this question.

[DeadEyes]

I said it's too complicated to merit a single broad answer. This isn't a black and white topic; a black and white answer is ineffective at answering this question.

I couldn't disagree more.

ohh sory misread your post. Okay.

Don't worry, apparently you're not the only one.

[Karkat]

I couldn't disagree more.

Well, then I guess we can agree to disagree.

[Hyper]

I'm not sure how much research has gone into this but if I was to be a highly hypothetical talking out of my ass-guessing-man I'd say that both.

Some part of the population is genetically more leaning towards monogamy while another is leaning more towards polygamy. And dependant on the circumstances, the circumstances being how populous we are as a race, anyone can be polygamic.

[UnknownError]

I think if jealousy wasn't such a big thing then lots more cultures would have probably embraced polygamy more. But there will always be favouritism between partners which leads to jealousy and that's what makes the majority of people monogamous.

[DeadEyes]

Well, then I guess we can agree to disagree.

Yep.

anyone can be polygamic.

Yep.

I think if jealousy wasn't such a big thing then lots more cultures would have probably embraced polygamy more.

Agreed, it's not a cultural thing at all.

[RRay99]

I would like to think we are, but so many of friends like me are from single parent homes or have divorced parents... Think in some rare cases you can find people truly in love who are faithful, but I think the majority of people can't be. Love is more than attraction, but I find when the attraction or excitement goes, love doesn't seem to last either : (

[Faolan]

I think it depends on cultural influence. In the US, monogamy is the norm, but recently there have been stories of polygamous/polyamorous relationships. Polygamy's existed in the past, too, so I think it depends on the people involved. Everyone has their preferences.

[Saint of Sinners]

From a purely natural-history point of view, yes, humans are monogamous and do in fact mate for life. However, our close relatives the chimpanzees are not, and human biology based on testicle to mass ratio shows that we are built with one of the largest testicle to mass ratio in primates which means our direct ancestors were not monogamous. That's why you see the mainstream in most places is monogamy, but some people and cultures are polygamous because we were designed for that originally.

[Babs]

Some are, however polyarmory is a thing. Some people desire monogamous relationships, however some people desire polyarmorous ones, which is a commonly misunderstood concept.

[Tesserax]

The way I see it is that although people can be faithful, they can have other very strong relationships that are classified as love, but not in the marriage kind of way. To me, anybody that isn't family that you deeply care about, you also love. Even if it's just your best friend, if you care about them, you want them to be happy and feel good, and you're always there for them just like an actual romantic partner, the love may be slightly different, but only because of monogamous social standards. If polygamy was socially acceptable, I have a feeling that some people would be married to multiple others, not because of lust but likely because of true love for their (in our world) friends.

ie, our best friends are essentially our partners we're not allowed or supposed to have sex with, and a family with due to social standards of monogamy, regardless of how many true BEST friends we have.

[eli_w]

I don't think we're biologically monogamous, or else people wouldn't have any motivation to ever cheat and that kind of thing, but i think due to the nurturing over time of our foundation of morals has landed us where we are in terms of sanctity of marriage and faithfulness and stuff

So biologically not really, but morally we tend to be