Relationships AREN'T ABOUT SEX!

[Body odah Man]

Lately it seems like every thread/IRL conversation based on relationships is about sex. 'When can I have sex with her', 'oh, look how many girls I've banged', 'our relationship runs on trust..and sex'. It's sickening! Come on people, grow up! Relationships are supposed to be based on mutual love and respect and that you appreciate the qualities, perosnalities of your girl/boyfriends, NOT that you desire their body for your own sexual lusts. It's sickening and degrading to the woman/guy in the same way that Friends with Benefits is. Does any1 here agree with em or am I the only one that seems to fele this way? Am I overreacting or not? If I am, then I am relieved. If I'm not, then the world is a sad place.

[Luminous]

Puberty for All :arrow: Relationships and Dating

[Blood]

Relationships are about a lot of things, and one of them is sex. Sex can be a bonding experience for the people in a relationship. I understand what you're trying to say here, and yeah relationships aren't ONLY about sex and it IS a dick move to brag about how many chicks you fuck, but sex is an important thing in most relationships.

[Karkat]

Relationships are about a lot of things, and one of them is sex. Sex can be a bonding experience for the people in a relationship. I understand what you're trying to say here, and yeah relationships aren't ONLY about sex and it IS a dick move to brag about how many chicks you fuck, but sex is an important thing in most relationships.

Entirely agree with Jess.

I mean, when you're a teenager, especially a younger teen, it shouldn't have to be about sex at all, at least not until you're mature enough to handle the responsibility of being sexually active. Once your partner is ready. You shouldn't rush things, and you shouldn't make a relationship entirely about sex- not only will it fail, but you, or your partner will get hurt.

HOWEVER, for older teens and adults...Sex can be a pretty big deal. Unless you're asexual, grey-asexual, or have sworn to celibacy (which are all ok, mind you), sex is usually a pretty big deal. Is it the most important thing in life? Hell fucking no. (No partial pun intended) SO many things out there more important, and honestly more gratifying than sex.

However, I'm not gonna lie, sex is pretty great, and questions about sex in the context of a relationship- or even just in general- are as valid as any other kind of question about a relationship. Or life. We shouldn't all be forced into darkness, uncertainty, and misinformation just because not everyone likes sex/wants to talk about sex/has had sex.

So while I understand your frustration- I don't wanna hear about it all the time either- I've got to disagree.

[Body odah Man]

Relationships are about a lot of things, and one of them is sex. Sex can be a bonding experience for the people in a relationship. I understand what you're trying to say here, and yeah relationships aren't ONLY about sex and it IS a dick move to brag about how many chicks you fuck, but sex is an important thing in most relationships.

HOW is it important? How is sex a bonding thing and in that matter important for a relationship at all? What sex mostly is these days is just two people wanting to satiate their sexual desires with one another because the other person looks sexy and is available. it has nothing to do with respecting a girl/boy's mind and soul and their qualities, just involves the boy/girl looking good and being willing to get 'down and dirty'. I.M.O. the mere fact that sex is an important thing in most relationships shows how degraded society these days is as sex is supposed to be a side thing to the relationship, like going out to dinner together, not a driving factor. It just isn't what relationships are about if that makes any sense and that's what I am trying, and failing, to depict with this thread and this rambling

[Karkat]

HOW is it important? How is sex a bonding thing and in that matter important for a relationship at all? What sex mostly is these days is just two people wanting to satiate their sexual desires with one another because the other person looks sexy and is available. it has nothing to do with respecting a girl/boy's mind and soul and their qualities, just involves the boy/girl looking good and being willing to get 'down and dirty'. I.M.O. the mere fact that sex is an important thing in most relationships shows how degraded society these days is as sex is supposed to be a side thing to the relationship, like going out to dinner together, not a driving factor. It just isn't what relationships are about if that makes any sense and that's what I am trying, and failing, to depict with this thread and this rambling

Um, what?

I'm assuming this is from someone who has never been in a sexual relationship. No offense, but in my opinion, you have entirely the wrong idea of what sex is even supposed to be.

Sure, it CAN be about fulfilling carnal desires...But if that was its only purpose I'd most likely be celibate.

There is a passion about sex, and intimacy. I mean, it's something you kind of have to *do* to understand most times, but it's absolutely a valid thing.

[Blood]

HOW is it important? How is sex a bonding thing and in that matter important for a relationship at all? What sex mostly is these days is just two people wanting to satiate their sexual desires with one another because the other person looks sexy and is available. it has nothing to do with respecting a girl/boy's mind and soul and their qualities, just involves the boy/girl looking good and being willing to get 'down and dirty'. I.M.O. the mere fact that sex is an important thing in most relationships shows how degraded society these days is as sex is supposed to be a side thing to the relationship, like going out to dinner together, not a driving factor. It just isn't what relationships are about if that makes any sense and that's what I am trying, and failing, to depict with this thread and this rambling

Um, what?

I'm assuming this is from someone who has never been in a sexual relationship. No offense, but in my opinion, you have entirely the wrong idea of what sex is even supposed to be.

Sure, it CAN be about fulfilling carnal desires...But if that was its only purpose I'd most likely be celibate.

There is a passion about sex, and intimacy. I mean, it's something you kind of have to *do* to understand most times, but it's absolutely a valid thing.

I agree with Ren.

I'm going to assume you haven't been in an actively sexual relationship before, or maybe you've been in one that was abusive? Or perhaps you're asexual or in one of the grey areas?

Nonetheless sex is important, in most relationships, because it's a very intimate, bonding experience, and also because most of us have a sex drive. Who better to use your sex drive with than someone you love romantically, emotionally, and mentally? It makes for passionate, loving sex.

[CosmicNoodle]

I read the title and just went "duh"
My last relationship was based on us caring about each other, and barely about bsex, sex was more of a nice add on that was mostly unimportant.
I know what you mean, every time I have a converstaion with people (below a certian IQ) the first question is always "Have you banged her yet?" and I'm just sitting there like "You shallow motherfucker, get away from me"

[Karkat]

I know what you mean, every time I have a converstaion with people (below a certian IQ) the first question is always "Have you banged her yet?" and I'm just sitting there like "You shallow motherfucker, get away from me"

I'm sorry to be off-topic, but quote of the year, man. :')

[Svan]

For me, sex is just a plus in a relationship. I have relationships because I like the person, (or love) not because of whatever is in their pants. I have had sex with a lot of people, but it's because I have extreme security issues stemming from when I was abused. For me, relationships are about LOVE.

[CosmicNoodle]

I'm sorry to be off-topic, but quote of the year, man. :')

Yes! I made a funny! Perhaps now I'll end up in one of those quote of the year threads

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

On a very basic level, relationships are simply establishing an interpersonal connection with someone, that being said, sex doesn't HAVE to be the end all, be all goal in all relationships. In fact there are plenty of people in happy, loving, committed celibate relationships, however, sex is a way of bonding in romantic relationships.
Personally, for me, a relationship would be more about falling in love, and leading a happy romantic life with a man that I love (Typing that made me feel all warn and fuzzy inside :wub:) However, sex would simply be a way to connect, but I would like to kiss, spoon and cuddle more.

Also, you have to remember this is VirtualTEEN meaning we're a bunch of horny, hormone-filled teenagers, sex is pretty much on the brain 24/7. (Of course excluding anyone who happens to be asexual)

[Karkat]

Also, you have to remember this is VirtualTEEN meaning we're a bunch of horny, hormone-filled teenagers, sex is pretty much on the brain 24/7. (Of course excluding anyone who happens to be asexual)

Lol, good point. :lol:

[Stronk Serb]

So a guy asked me what was I doing last night. I said I grabbed a beer and chilled with my female friend. He asked me "Did you bang?". Me: "Du kamst in die falsche nachbarschaft, mutterficker.", he was like "Wut duz dat maen?", me: "You don't wanna know, now go away.".

[Body odah Man]

I read the title and just went "duh"
My last relationship was based on us caring about each other, and barely about bsex, sex was more of a nice add on that was mostly unimportant.
I know what you mean, every time I have a converstaion with people (below a certian IQ) the first question is always "Have you banged her yet?" and I'm just sitting there like "You shallow motherfucker, get away from me"

Good answer man :) Even awesomer quote :)

For me, sex is just a plus in a relationship. I have relationships because I like the person, (or love) not because of whatever is in their pants. I have had sex with a lot of people, but it's because I have extreme security issues stemming from when I was abused. For me, relationships are about LOVE.

I'm sorry to hear that u were abused. That sucks :( I respect that you value love in relationships though.

So a guy asked me what was I doing last night. I said I grabbed a beer and chilled with my female friend. He asked me "Did you bang?". Me: "Du kamst in die falsche nachtbarschaft, mutterficker.", he was like "Wut duz dat maen?", me: "You don't wanna know, now go away.".

I know what that means except for the 'nachtbarschaft' word you used. Score for me :)

I agree with Ren.

I'm going to assume you haven't been in an actively sexual relationship before, or maybe you've been in one that was abusive? Or perhaps you're asexual or in one of the grey areas?

Nonetheless sex is important, in most relationships, because it's a very intimate, bonding experience, and also because most of us have a sex drive. Who better to use your sex drive with than someone you love romantically, emotionally, and mentally? It makes for passionate, loving sex.

Ok, I'll concede to you and Ron then and perhaps I am misinformed. It sounds like you know these things better than I do.

[Croconaw]

It sucks for asexual people when that is all everyone else wants.

[Cognizant]

Sex is nice. Romantic attraction is nice. But with all things, having too much of a single thing is overwhelming and difficult. There needs to be a good balance of the two and a mutual understanding of what each other wants in a relationship.
My past two boyfriends had that concept fly right over their head, and I'll tell you what, it was nice for them but really fucking miserable for me. My first boyfriend was so fixated on finding love and having the "perfect ideal relationship" to the extent that he got upset at me for, essentially, not having an attractive personality.

My second boyfriend was on the other side of the spectrum - he was all about sex, only really talked about sex, and was so fixated on trying to bang me that he got upset at me for not wanting to just be another conquest of his.

Jesus, why do I attract all the fucking weird guys?

[lancezer]

yeah they arn't I broke up a relationship before it started I didn't want a relationship based on sex acts so we stayed friends both in relationships fast and we are both happy it was a good and smart that we didn't we are both happy now and both in relationships happy :)

[Stronk Serb]

Good answer man :) Even awesomer quote :)



I'm sorry to hear that u were abused. That sucks :( I respect that you value love in relationships though.



I know what that means except for the 'nachtbarschaft' word you used. Score for me :)



Ok, I'll concede to you and Ron then and perhaps I am misinformed. It sounds like you know these things better than I do.

Nachbarschaft is for neighborhood in German, I made a typo :O

[Body odah Man]

Sex is nice. Romantic attraction is nice. But with all things, having too much of a single thing is overwhelming and difficult. There needs to be a good balance of the two and a mutual understanding of what each other wants in a relationship.
My past two boyfriends had that concept fly right over their head, and I'll tell you what, it was nice for them but really fucking miserable for me. My first boyfriend was so fixated on finding love and having the "perfect ideal relationship" to the extent that he got upset at me for, essentially, not having an attractive personality.

My second boyfriend was on the other side of the spectrum - he was all about sex, only really talked about sex, and was so fixated on trying to bang me that he got upset at me for not wanting to just be another conquest of his.

Jesus, why do I attract all the fucking weird guys?

I'm sorry to hear that my friend :(
I hope you find the right person soon.

[Phonix]

Yeah, sex isn't everything, I mean it can be nice in a relationship but it shouldn't be the only fucking thing that you talk about every moment of the time you spend with that person. People who think realtionship = sex, should re-assess themselves.

[Body odah Man]

Yeah, sex isn't everything, I mean it can be nice in a relationship but it shouldn't be the only fucking thing that you talk about every moment of the time you spend with that person. People who think realtionship = sex, should re-assess themselves.

Indeed! Good man :)