Question on age gap.

[clueless_one]

What do you think is the maximum age gap for a relationship? I feel a 4 year age gap is the maximum age gap for a relationship.

Also, what do you think about starting a relationship with someone who is past 18. Example, girl is 17 and the guy is 19. Do you think a relationship with a person below 18 with someone who is over 18 is acceptable?

[CharlieHorse]

Depends on the age range. In teens, within a few years is considered normal.
But honestly, if two people actually love each other, then age is just a number. Love is more important than being socially normal. Romeo and Juliet is a good example of this, but just don't go drinking any poison.

[clueless_one]

Depends on the age range. In teens, within a few years is considered normal.
But honestly, if two people actually love each other, then age is just a number. Love is more important than being socially normal. Romeo and Juliet is a good example of this, but just don't go drinking any poison.

So, if your friend for example was lets say 17 and is in a relationship with a 19 year old. You would accept it and not say anything about their age and about one being past 18 and the other under 18.

[CharlieHorse]

So, if your friend for example was lets say 17 and is in a relationship with a 19 year old. You would accept it and not say anything about their age and about one being past 18 and the other under 18.

Yeah. That seems perfectly normal. I know lots of couples that are on opposite sides of 18.
Nothing is magic about age 18, apart from legally being recognized as an adult. Age difference really won't have an effect on the relationship, unless you make a big deal about it.

[clueless_one]

Yeah. That seems perfectly normal. I know lots of couples that are on opposite sides of 18.
Nothing is magic about age 18, apart from legally being recognized as an adult. Age difference really won't have an effect on the relationship, unless you make a big deal about it.

Really?… I thought it would be considered wrong, as its someone who is over 18 (an adult) being in a relationship with someone under 18 (legally considered a child)

[CharlieHorse]

Really?… I thought it would be considered wrong, as its someone who is over 18 (an adult) being in a relationship with someone under 18 (legally considered a child)

depends on your society's morals.
where i am, it's perfectly acceptable.
I assume you're asking this also because there's talk about the legality of sexual stuff around the age 18.
Where i am, it's not technically legal for a person to engage in "unlawful sexual intercourse" with someone under 18. "Unlawful" is put in there to apply the law to cases of rape. But teens in a real relationship with each other's consent have sex all the time. It's mainly to discourage young people from having sex who potentially don't know the consequences of it, or lack the responsibility an "adult" would have. Schools also teach about sex to help prevent unwanted pregnancies, and std transmission.

What are you primarily concerned with? I assume that you feel this way personally... Are you thinking about a relationship with someone and worried about the age difference?

[clueless_one]

depends on your society's morals.
where i am, it's perfectly acceptable.
I assume you're asking this also because there's talk about the legality of sexual stuff around the age 18.
Where i am, it's not technically legal for a person to engage in "unlawful sexual intercourse" with someone under 18. "Unlawful" is put in there to apply the law to cases of rape. But teens in a real relationship with each other's consent have sex all the time. It's mainly to discourage young people from having sex who potentially don't know the consequences of it, or lack the responsibility an "adult" would have. Schools also teach about sex to help prevent unwanted pregnancies, and std transmission.

What are you primarily concerned with? I assume that you feel this way personally... Are you thinking about a relationship with someone and worried about the age difference?

I spoke to a friend of mine who is going to turn 19 in a few days and he likes a girl who turned 17 last month. He was going to tell her how he felt next month (so he was confident enough and ready), but I told him it was wrong cause she was under 18 and stopped him from going any further with a relationship with her.

[CharlieHorse]

I spoke to a friend of mine who is going to turn 19 in a few days and he likes a girl who turned 17 last month. He was going to tell her how he felt next month (so he was confident enough and ready), but I told him it was wrong cause she was under 18 and stopped him from going any further with a relationship with her.

Well that wasn't very good :/


Where is your friend? If it's a place where people might judge based on that, then maybe it was for the best that they didn't date.

[clueless_one]

Well that wasn't very good :/


Where is your friend? If it's a place where people might judge based on that, then maybe it was for the best that they didn't date.

Are you asking which country?

I don't think people will judge. He told me he knows other people who were 17 dating someone older (think he said 20). But I told him thats not good too, and that I shouldn't do it still.

[CharlieHorse]

Are you asking which country?

I don't think people will judge. He told me he knows other people who were 17 dating someone older (think he said 20). But I told him thats not good too, and that I shouldn't do it still.

I guess it doesn't matter. nevermind

Well, I think your friend should take into account his feelings more than anything else. You may think it's wrong, but you're just used to your opinion.

Why do you think it's "not good", if I may ask?

[clueless_one]

I guess it doesn't matter. nevermind

Well, I think your friend should take into account his feelings more than anything else. You may think it's wrong, but you're just used to your opinion.

Why do you think it's "not good", if I may ask?

I just feel its not right cause one is still considered a child and the other legally an adult.

[CharlieHorse]

I just feel its not right cause one is still considered a child and the other legally an adult.

Ok, is there any law prohibiting such a relationship in your country/state/city?

[Svan]

I think age differences are fine, to an extent. If a girl is 14 and a guy is 19 though, that's wrong.
Me personally, the oldest person I've talked to was in his thirties, and that's okay because I'm a legal adult and can handle that. But I wouldn't recommend it for someone who wants to make their relationship known to their family, lol.

[clueless_one]

Ok, is there any law prohibiting such a relationship in your country/state/city?

I don't think there is any law against it where we live.

In that case it should be fine... But I think I might have stopped him from possibly starting a relationship with her from what I've said.

[CharlieHorse]

I don't think there is any law against it where we live.

In that case it should be fine... But I think I might have stopped him from possibly starting a relationship with her from what I've said.

Great.
Well, in that case, I would tell your friend that he should make the decision about asking her himself, regardless of what others think.

[CrazyPerson101]

Age gaps are fine. My grandma married a man who was 23 years older than her , my mom married a man 11 years older than she was, I don't see why age gaps are so ehhh. 4 is nothing in my family, I guess it depends on how old you are and stuff like that. A girl who is 10 years younger than me likes me ( then again she's 5 and doesn't know any better ) but you get my point

[Melodic]

Honestly 4 years is really nothing to me. Most of my family has dated people with at least a ten year gap. I'd prefer not to go that big in an age difference but as long as it's a safe and healthy relationship, there should not be a thing wrong.

[Gumleaf]

I think as you get older, the age gap issue becomes less of an issue. I think in your teens, any more then 3 years would personally make me uncomfortable. As a 20yo now, I wouldn't date anyone younger then 18, but wouldn't be put off by someone a bit older. I think in the end the main point is what you're comfortable with, meaning if there is an age difference between you and the person you like, that you're more concerned by them then their age.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

I think as you get older, the age gap issue becomes less of an issue. I think in your teens, any more then 3 years would personally make me uncomfortable. As a 20yo now, I wouldn't date anyone younger then 18, but wouldn't be put off by someone a bit older. I think in the end the main point is what you're comfortable with, meaning if there is an age difference between you and the person you like, that you're more concerned by them then their age.

This exactly.

I think about my parents: there's 13 years between them.. that means that my mom was in middle school when my dad was born.. that's fucked up and creepy. I still think it's a little much, but as you get older, but really becomes less of an issue.

I guess it runs in my family because the two guys I've got my eye on are both 7-8 years older than I am.. which is slightly weird.. but we're all adults so what's the difference? It'd be weird if I were 12 and they were 20, but the fact is that's not the case.

I basically agree with Stephen's post exactly.

[Blood]

I think as you get older, the age gap issue becomes less of an issue. I think in your teens, any more then 3 years would personally make me uncomfortable. As a 20yo now, I wouldn't date anyone younger then 18, but wouldn't be put off by someone a bit older. I think in the end the main point is what you're comfortable with, meaning if there is an age difference between you and the person you like, that you're more concerned by them then their age.

Yes, this is my opinion as well.

[thatcountrykid]

Teens id say two years max! my cousin is about to marry a guy 8 years older.

[clueless_one]

I think as you get older, the age gap issue becomes less of an issue. I think in your teens, any more then 3 years would personally make me uncomfortable. As a 20yo now, I wouldn't date anyone younger then 18, but wouldn't be put off by someone a bit older. I think in the end the main point is what you're comfortable with, meaning if there is an age difference between you and the person you like, that you're more concerned by them then their age.

So with my friend being 19 and the girl he likes being 17, it's fine? One is older than 18 (considered an adult) the other is younger than 18(considered still a child)

[Gumleaf]

So with my friend being 19 and the girl he likes being 17, it's fine? One is older than 18 (considered an adult) the other is younger than 18(considered still a child)

My ex girlfriend was 18 and I was still 17 for over 9 months. It was no problem for us except when she wanted to go out to licenced places such as bars and I couldn't go because I was underage. I mean, technical issues like that might be a short term problem, but as for the relationship going forward, it should be fine. If there is such a concern about it, maybe wait til she's 18 before your friend asks her out?

[clueless_one]

My ex girlfriend was 18 and I was still 17 for over 9 months. It was no problem for us except when she wanted to go out to licenced places such as bars and I couldn't go because I was underage. I mean, technical issues like that might be a short term problem, but as for the relationship going forward, it should be fine. If there is such a concern about it, maybe wait til she's 18 before your friend asks her out?

Well this girl doesn't seem like a girl who will drink or go clubbing, cause usually 17 year olds experiment and drink. This girl doesn't seem like one who does that.

[Cognizant]

Love itself is ageless. The very first person I fell in love with was 19 going on 20 when I was 15, but that didn't really hold me back.

Legally speaking though, I would be a bit wary as if the parents find out and want to be assholes, they could report the older person to the authorities and cause a huge mess.

[johny1996]

Honestly if you really love someone then it doesn't matter. if you really like someone and wanna be with him/her and the person who you like he/she has a same feelings like you then Age is doesn't matter its just number..

[CassnovA]

just use common sense. 18 can date 22, 16 cant date 12. theres no set age gaps, just be sensible.

[clueless_one]

just use common sense. 18 can date 22, 16 cant date 12. theres no set age gaps, just be sensible.

But can 17 date 19?

I understand 18 can date 22, they are adults. Like if one is 17 and the other is 21 for example do you think they can date?

[Gumleaf]

But can 17 date 19?




17 and 19 can date. I know of one girl in my grade who was 17 and her bf was a couple of years older. They can date, it's fine.

[clueless_one]

17 and 19 can date. I know of one girl in my grade who was 17 and her bf was a couple of years older. They can date, it's fine.

With the hawks and Newcastle logos on your profile I'm guessing your from Australia. So I'm guessing it's alright. Then the only thing is they go to the same church so if the friendship ends due to starting the relationship things will be awkward if they see each other at church...

[Gumleaf]

With the hawks and Newcastle logos on your profile I'm guessing your from Australia. So I'm guessing it's alright. Then the only thing is they go to the same church so if the friendship ends due to starting the relationship things will be awkward if they see each other at church...

Well that is always a risk with a relationship, that things won't be great if there is a break up. But if you think of it that if you never take a risk, then you'll never likely be in a relationship, then it's possibly worth it?

Your assumption about me is correct.

[clueless_one]

Well that is always a risk with a relationship, that things won't be great if there is a break up. But if you think of it that if you never take a risk, then you'll never likely be in a relationship, then it's possibly worth it?

Your assumption about me is correct.

What do you mean... (The bit in bold). Is it got to do about them going to the same church? Do you think it would be awkward with them going to the same church if the friendship ended?

[Gumleaf]

What do you mean... (The bit in bold). Is it got to do about them going to the same church? Do you think it would be awkward with them going to the same church if the friendship ended?

There is always a risk if 2 friends begin a romantic relationship in a community, so in a church for this, that if things ended badly then there could be tension between the 2 of them in the community.

[clueless_one]

There is always a risk if 2 friends begin a romantic relationship in a community, so in a church for this, that if things ended badly then there could be tension between the 2 of them in the community.

Might I ask what tension? So I can tell my friend when I see him next as to why he shouldn't tell her how he feels.

There was one girl I know from my church who dated a guy who also went to the same church. Their relationship ended (found out from the girl) but they still always talk to each other.

[Gumleaf]

Might I ask what tension? So I can tell my friend when I see him next as to why he shouldn't tell her how he feels.

There was one girl I know from my church who dated a guy who also went to the same church. Their relationship ended (found out from the girl) but they still always talk to each other.

I'm giving you a worst case scenario here. Can i just say that if your main concerns are only about a 2 year age difference and whether a break up is going to cause problems in your church, then you shouldn't talk him out of it. There is also the possibility they could be very happy together too.

[Thedoctorisin]

When your in your Teenage years there should not be a more than a year age differance not only because you will looked upon as very weird it is also illegall in most states to date a minor that is 4 years younger than you (ex: 19 dating a 15 year old) this also applies if the relationship were to be between a 14 year old dating a 9 year old. But onvr your both adults you can be 4 years apart if you want

[PinkFloyd]

Starting at age 14 and ending at age I wanna say 24, the minimum age gap is 4 years.

[clueless_one]

I'm giving you a worst case scenario here. Can i just say that if your main concerns are only about a 2 year age difference and whether a break up is going to cause problems in your church, then you shouldn't talk him out of it. There is also the possibility they could be very happy together too.

But I don't want them to risk it becoming awkward. It might be difficult for him because he is an only child and never had a relationship, so by losing her as a friend and it becoming awkward might lead to him breaking down due to it all and do things which might affect his life more.

[Gumleaf]

But I don't want them to risk it becoming awkward. It might be difficult for him because he is an only child and never had a relationship, so by losing her as a friend and it becoming awkward might lead to him breaking down due to it all and do things which might affect his life more.

You do what you think is right. I don't know these people. It's really good of you to care that much, but i would be careful not to over care and talking him out of a possible great relationship.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

A lot of have said it already, but yeah, the younger it is, the more the age gap is smaller. While it might be okay for 5 years when you're older you can't imagine a 10 and 15 year old or a 13 and 18 year old, yeah?

Also, if you like to keep things legal (which most people don't, but whatever), it can get a bit annoying if ones legal to do sexual things with consent but the other is not old enough.

Not like many people go with the law anyway.