Guy told me it was wrong to do this to the girl I like. Is he right?

[User-Unknown]

I wanted to get the attention of the girl I like to tell her something. Instead of putting my hand on her shoulder, I put my hand on her lower back/waist, she turned her head, looked at me, looked down and smiled.

I told this to a guy (I trust him) who knows I like her and who knows this girl. I told this guy I did this and he said I shouldn't have done it. I just want to know if he is right that it was wrong for me to do it or if it is fine.

Even though I did this, she STILL doesn't talk to me (she talks to others fine giving proper eye contact but never talks to me unless I start conversations with her and she responds not giving proper eye contact). She looks at me a little from a distance.
So in other words, I feel she likes me still after doing this but is shy.

[Hudor]

How well did you know this girl?

[User-Unknown]

How well did you know this girl?

did… I still know her.

I know her fairly well. She doesn't talk to me i'm usually the one who starts conversations with her and she then talks to me and responds to my questions. To everyone else she talks to them fine.

Also, this girls sister told this guy that this girl doesn't like him, she didn't say anything about her liking me. Though, her sister talks to me a lot more than to any other guy this girls age.

[Fady]

Well, this all depends on the girl. Not what your friend thinks.

[Hudor]

She may have a liking for you.

The thing is it all depends on the girl and your relation with her. If your relation is frank and you both are free with touching, holding hands, hugging etc then i guess she wouldn't mind but if it is not then i think your gesture would have been forward and such a thing cannot necessarily guarantee you get her attention.

The best thing for you is to talk to her sister about this.

[Svan]

To be honest, as long as she's into you, you didn't do anything wrong. As long as you're not groping her butt, you should be totally fine. XD

[User-Unknown]

Well, this all depends on the girl. Not what your friend thinks.

She may have a liking for you.

The thing is it all depends on the girl and your relation with her. If your relation is frank and you both are free with touching, holding hands, hugging etc then i guess she wouldn't mind but if it is not then i think your gesture would have been forward and such a thing cannot necessarily guarantee you get her attention.

The best thing for you is to talk to her sister about this.

To be honest, as long as she's into you, you didn't do anything wrong. As long as you're not groping her butt, you should be totally fine. XD

I see her every weekend at this group event thing. Due to this, this guy told me that I should't tell her I like her cause if a friendship ends (which all the previous girls I've liked the friendship ended after they rejected me) and we keep on going to the group event, it will be awkward. But before saying this, he called this girl "your girl" (meaning my girl as it was directed to me). Its really confusing, he called her "your girl" and yet he told me not to tell her how I feel and ask her out because she is part of the group event which her parents take her to all the time, seeing her every weekend.

He also told me something about her being 2 yrs younger to me (as I'm 19 and she is 17). Then there was the thing about me touching her waist/lower back to get her attention and he called it a wrong thing to do. He doesn't know that she looked back at me, looked down and smiled responding to me, and also after this she seems to show signs of liking me which shy girls show (looking at me from a distance and talking/asking questions to everyone else, giving proper eye contact and never speaks to me unless I start talking/asking questions).

I just don't understand it, its making me confused and I don't understand why he called her "your girl" and yet said negative things saying I shouldn't tell her I like her.

[CharlieHorse]

Screw your friend. It depends on your and her feelings.

[ValerieR10]

Instead of asking your friend, communicate with her. Everyone has different morals and point of views with experimenting. You shuold try talking to her and telling her that what you did was an accident. You dont want to make her feel uncomfortable if she is. If you do not know a lot about her I dont think you should experiment. I guess its all up to you and her.

[User-Unknown]

Instead of asking your friend, communicate with her. Everyone has different morals and point of views with experimenting. You shuold try talking to her and telling her that what you did was an accident. You dont want to make her feel uncomfortable if she is. If you do not know a lot about her I dont think you should experiment. I guess its all up to you and her.

Experiment??? Accident???

Me touching her lower back/waist was no accident or experiment. It was something I did to show her I'm interested in her. Did her reaction show she was uncomfortable... No. She turned her head, saw me looked down and smiled. What I think is she wasn't uncomfortable at all... I think she was surprised and happy I touched her. The only thing that possibly shows it was wrong to this guy is whenever her touched her (hair mostly), she reacted to it and got angry at him for touching her and was annoyed.

I usually never touch any girl I have had interest in because I thought it was wrong. This was the first time I had a chance to see what will happen, it was a positive reaction which I was at first happy about but now it feels like I've made a mistake. I'm usually a shy guy, so doing this was a big jump from the usual me.

I've never done it before and just wanted to see her reaction, I mean think about it. If a guy touched your lower back/waist and you had a crush on him, what would you have done as your reaction be if you were a shy girl?

[ValerieR10]

Experiment??? Accident???

Me touching her lower back/waist was no accident or experiment. It was something I did to show her I'm interested in her. Did her reaction show she was uncomfortable... No. She turned her head, saw me looked down and smiled. What I think is she wasn't uncomfortable at all... I think she was surprised and happy I touched her. The only thing that possibly shows it was wrong to this guy is whenever her touched her (hair mostly), she reacted to it and got angry at him for touching her and was annoyed.

I usually never touch any girl I have had interest in because I thought it was wrong. This was the first time I had a chance to see what will happen, it was a positive reaction which I was at first happy about but now it feels like I've made a mistake. I'm usually a shy guy, so doing this was a big jump from the usual me.

I've never done it before and just wanted to see her reaction, I mean think about it. If a guy touched your lower back/waist and you had a crush on him, what would you have done as your reaction be if you were a shy girl?

Ah I see. Sorry I just needed more explanation. It must mean something since she liked what you did than what your friend did. Do you like her?

[User-Unknown]

Ah I see. Sorry I just needed more explanation. It must mean something since she liked what you did than what your friend did. Do you like her?

Yes, I like her.

But this guy told me not to tell her how I feel because I always see her at my youth group (which she always goes to) and if she rejects me and ends the friendship (which has happened with all other girls I like) it will become awkward when I see her, which I don't want. So, he seems to be pushing me to stop liking her. I know he doesn't like her and is just good friends, also I heard her sister tell this guy that this girl doesn't like him.

I don't know why, but something is pushing me to her, it's either something about her or that I feel I have a chance to start a relationship with her. Just something is pulling to her, like one of those strong magnets.

I'm still not sure if she likes me, I mean everyone is different with body language. But I used to be shy, suddenly I feel outgoing around this girl, when there was a girl I liked (previously), I hardly spoke to them and only responded if they asked me questions and just looked at them from a distance. She seems to be doing the exact same thing to me.

But I'm still unsure. I mean, to me, touching her lower back/waist was a great way to see how she felt back, and it seems positive. I never touched a girls lower back (even if I like them) but felt I should to find out her reaction to see if she likes me back and to show I'm interested. But after this guy told me it was wrong... I'm not sure about her reaction and her liking me back, it might just have been a normal reaction for her.

[Thedoctorisin]

I wanted to get the attention of the girl I like to tell her something. Instead of putting my hand on her shoulder, I put my hand on her lower back/waist, she turned her head, looked at me, looked down and smiled.

I told this to a guy (I trust him) who knows I like her and who knows this girl. I told this guy I did this and he said I shouldn't have done it. I just want to know if he is right that it was wrong for me to do it or if it is fine.

Even though I did this, she STILL doesn't talk to me (she talks to others fine giving proper eye contact but never talks to me unless I start conversations with her and she responds not giving proper eye contact). She looks at me a little from a distance.
So in other words, I feel she likes me still after doing this but is shy.


Your acting clueless. Have you had ANY experiance with girls before? She may have felt embarrassed with you putting you hand on her lower back/waist. It also seems that she's not imterested but is too nive of a person to directly tell you that which is why you need to reconize some body langage. She talks perfectly fine with the other boys whilst making eye contact but when it comes to you it seems she doesnt want to talk and is trying to burn through the conversation. Her Eye contact or lack thereof is showing that she wants you to stop talking to her at that certain

[Thedoctorisin]

I wanted to get the attention of the girl I like to tell her something. Instead of putting my hand on her shoulder, I put my hand on her lower back/waist, she turned her head, looked at me, looked down and smiled.

I told this to a guy (I trust him) who knows I like her and who knows this girl. I told this guy I did this and he said I shouldn't have done it. I just want to know if he is right that it was wrong for me to do it or if it is fine.

Even though I did this, she STILL doesn't talk to me (she talks to others fine giving proper eye contact but never talks to me unless I start conversations with her and she responds not giving proper eye contact). She looks at me a little from a distance.
So in other words, I feel she likes me still after doing this but is shy.


Your acting clueless. Have you had ANY experiance with girls before? She may have felt embarrassed with you putting you hand on her lower back/waist. It also seems that she's not imterested but is too nive of a person to directly tell you that which is why you need to reconize some body langage. She talks perfectly fine with the other boys whilst making eye contact but when it comes to you it seems she doesnt want to talk and is trying to burn through the conversation. Her Eye contact or lack thereof is showing that she wants you to stop talking to her at that certain moment. Just ease off of her and maybe she start noticing you a bit more in another way. And dont put any more hands on her most girls really dont like it when a guy they barely know puts they're hands on her espially when your puttjng you hands on her waste

[ValerieR10]

Yes, I like her.

But this guy told me not to tell her how I feel because I always see her at my youth group (which she always goes to) and if she rejects me and ends the friendship (which has happened with all other girls I like) it will become awkward when I see her, which I don't want. So, he seems to be pushing me to stop liking her. I know he doesn't like her and is just good friends, also I heard her sister tell this guy that this girl doesn't like him.

I don't know why, but something is pushing me to her, it's either something about her or that I feel I have a chance to start a relationship with her. Just something is pulling to her, like one of those strong magnets.

I'm still not sure if she likes me, I mean everyone is different with body language. But I used to be shy, suddenly I feel outgoing around this girl, when there was a girl I liked (previously), I hardly spoke to them and only responded if they asked me questions and just looked at them from a distance. She seems to be doing the exact same thing to me.

But I'm still unsure. I mean, to me, touching her lower back/waist was a great way to see how she felt back, and it seems positive. I never touched a girls lower back (even if I like them) but felt I should to find out her reaction to see if she likes me back and to show I'm interested. But after this guy told me it was wrong... I'm not sure about her reaction and her liking me back, it might just have been a normal reaction for her.


Just to be safe, just talk to her more often and become her friend. When you guys know each other more and all the feelings may start to grow. Just be yourself. Hope all goes well!

[User-Unknown]

Your acting clueless. Have you had ANY experiance with girls before? She may have felt embarrassed with you putting you hand on her lower back/waist. It also seems that she's not imterested but is too nive of a person to directly tell you that which is why you need to reconize some body langage. She talks perfectly fine with the other boys whilst making eye contact but when it comes to you it seems she doesnt want to talk and is trying to burn through the conversation. Her Eye contact or lack thereof is showing that she wants you to stop talking to her at that certain moment. Just ease off of her and maybe she start noticing you a bit more in another way. And dont put any more hands on her most girls really dont like it when a guy they barely know puts they're hands on her espially when your puttjng you hands on her waste

What... So I acted the same way to the girls I've liked previously because I was shy. IT MEANT I DONT LIKE THEM AND DONT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM... YOUR COMPLETELY WRONG ABOUT IT ALL

This girl looks at me a lot, I did the same with previous girls I liked...
This girl hardly speaks to me, when I start the conversation with her asking questions she responds and sometimes says things I'm not talking about, I did the same thing with girls I liked.

ITS A CARBON COPY OF THE SHY ME FROM LAST YEAR. NOW FOR SOME REASON IM OPPENING UP NOW. DONT SAY IT MEANS NOTHING, WHEN I USED TO ACT THE SAME WAY TO GIRLS IVE LIKED!!!!! :mad:

Also, if she was embarrassed I put my hand on her lower back/waist.
1.NO ONE ELSE WAS AROUND OTHER THAN SOMEONE IN FRONT OF HER.
2. She TURNED LOOKED BEHIND HER SHOULDER, SAW ME THEN LOOKED DOWN AND SMILED.

Just to be safe, just talk to her more often and become her friend. When you guys know each other more and all the feelings may start to grow. Just be yourself. Hope all goes well!

I'm currently her friend, just keeping friends until she finishes her exams then seeing what I should do. Thankyou for your help

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" or "Multi" button. ~Elysium

[Thedoctorisin]

What... So I acted the same way to the girls I've liked previously because I was shy. IT MEANT I DONT LIKE THEM AND DONT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM... YOUR COMPLETELY WRONG ABOUT IT ALL

This girl looks at me a lot, I did the same with previous girls I liked...
This girl hardly speaks to me, when I start the conversation with her asking questions she responds and sometimes says things I'm not talking about, I did the same thing with girls I liked.

ITS A CARBON COPY OF THE SHY ME FROM LAST YEAR. NOW FOR SOME REASON IM OPPENING UP NOW. DONT SAY IT MEANS NOTHING, WHEN I USED TO ACT THE SAME WAY TO GIRLS IVE LIKED!!!!! :mad:

Also, if she was embarrassed I put my hand on her lower back/waist.
1.NO ONE ELSE WAS AROUND OTHER THAN SOMEONE IN FRONT OF HER.
2. She TURNED LOOKED BEHIND HER SHOULDER, SAW ME THEN LOOKED
DOWN AND SMILED.

Dude your making me laugh you are SO clueless your a boy and she's a girl. And you're comparing yourself to her. How old are you dude? This could definatly greatly vary by age so maybe she likes it. But it does seem like she's trying to avoid you. So i recommend no more hands on her waist intill she actually talks to you without being forced into the conversation. If you want you can get somebody to find out her thoughts on you. Just make sure this person isnt any of your close friends because she will know you sent him because it is easy to tell who hangs with who. So find a ok person that can start a conversation she is comfortable with and he will pop the question.

[Elysium]

Let's please calm down and keep the personal insults at bay. If you can't bite your tongue, this thread will be locked and warnings will be doled out.

[User-Unknown]

Dude your making me laugh you are SO clueless your a boy and she's a girl. And you're comparing yourself to her. How old are you dude? This could definatly greatly vary by age so maybe she likes it. But it does seem like she's trying to avoid you. So i recommend no more hands on her waist intill she actually talks to you without being forced into the conversation. If you want you can get somebody to find out her thoughts on you. Just make sure this person isnt any of your close friends because she will know you sent him because it is easy to tell who hangs with who. So find a ok person that can start a conversation she is comfortable with and he will pop the question.

Well your bloody clueless fricking idiot. This girl has said she is shy. Know what I fucking give up. This is all fucking shit. I'm never going to get a girlfriend, know what I don't fucking care about it. I'm going to be fucking alone and pissed about it. I will end up being those homeless people cause being alone without any love and attention which I don't get from my parents I will do shit in my schooling. Fuck you for not caring about me, no one ever fucking does. I'm off fuck you all wankers!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad::mad::mad:

[Hideous]

Well your bloody clueless fricking idiot. This girl has said she is shy. Know what I fucking give up. This is all fucking shit. I'm never going to get a girlfriend, know what I don't fucking care about it. I'm going to be fucking alone and pissed about it. I will end up being those homeless people cause being alone without any love and attention which I don't get from my parents I will do shit in my schooling. Fuck you for not caring about me, no one ever fucking does. I'm off fuck you all wankers!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad::mad::mad:

Language...

From my perspective, what you did was slightly going too far. I feel like maybe the girl didn't want you to touch her lower back and because she smiled, that could have so many different meanings but here is what I'm going to say, I can tell you really like this girl, and I recommend you invite her to the park or simply get her number, talk to her. Doing these certain gestures to get her attention won't help. Second, you're not alone in this situation, don't be too impatient to be in a relationship, someone out there will come to you and you don't have to worry so much. Do not focus on this one girl if she doesn't have any interest in you. Another thing, your friend might be looking out for you, who knows?

[clueless_one]

Well your bloody clueless fricking idiot. This girl has said she is shy. Know what I fucking give up. This is all fucking shit. I'm never going to get a girlfriend, know what I don't fucking care about it. I'm going to be fucking alone and pissed about it. I will end up being those homeless people cause being alone without any love and attention which I don't get from my parents I will do shit in my schooling. Fuck you for not caring about me, no one ever fucking does. I'm off fuck you all wankers!!!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad::mad::mad:

DUDE YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN, she definitely smiled cause she liked you touching her there. She turned around to see who it was, she saw you and smiled. Ignore this person spamming you with answers he must be a troll. He is clearly bullying you. If it was someone else, it seems her reaction might have been a little different. Possibly if it was one of her girlfriends she might have just looked and did responded to what they said. I think she is into you, your just breaking to touch zone, testing out the waters on her reactions and feelings towards you. If she looks at you, touches your hand, bumps into you and just stands there... She is into you, she is just shy. It seems she is from her talking to everyone else properly and giving proper eye contact to everyone else and not talking to you only when you talk.

My opinion she is into you chill and just wait until the time is right and go ahead see what happens. Ask for more help in other places, these people might give you shit answers (my friend with a mental illness included). JUST RELAX!

[User-Unknown]

Language...

From my perspective, what you did was slightly going too far. I feel like maybe the girl didn't want you to touch her lower back but here is what I'm going to say, I can tell you really like this girl, and I recommend you invite her to the park or simply get her number, talk to her. Doing these certain gestures to get her attention won't help. Second, you're not alone in this situation, don't be too impatient to be in a relationship, someone out there will come to you and you don't have to worry so much. Do not focus on this one girl if she doesn't have any interest in you.

I already have her number but talk to her face to face when I can at my youth group. Also, if your attracted/like someone you will try to get her. I mean there is no use just going for someone who seems to show you attention if you don't like them. My parents did that and my dad gives shit to my mum, annoys the hell out of her, she cries every day when she come to me talking about him. My dad is no alcoholic, but he just pisses my mum off. I don't want to go for someone I don't have interest for but who has interest in me. In the end it will be like my parents. I DONT WANT THAT AT ALL. I just want happiness I DONT HAVE ANY OF THAT, ESPECIALLY WITH MY PARENTS.

I'm done, I'll get nothing but crap in my life, just have a shit life with no happiness :cry:

[Hideous]

I already have her number but talk to her face to face when I can at my youth group. Also, if your attracted/like someone you will try to get her. I mean there is no use just going for someone who seems to show you attention if you don't like them. My parents did that and my dad gives shit to my mum, annoys the hell out of her, she cries every day when she come to me talking about him. My dad is no alcoholic, but he just pisses my mum off. I don't want to go for someone I don't have interest for but who has interest in me. In the end it will be like my parents. I DONT WANT THAT AT ALL. I just want happiness I DONT HAVE ANY OF THAT, ESPECIALLY WITH MY PARENTS.

I'm done, I'll get nothing but crap in my life, just have a shit life with no happiness :cry:

Look buddy, it will get better (cliche) but it's true. I know you don't want to follow your parents footsteps, it's the same with my parents. Talking to her at your youth group is already an amazing start. Don't let these negative thoughts get to you, just don't go after someone who doesn't think the same and end up with nothing. I'm not saying to stop going after her, I just don't want you to overthink the situation. You touched her back, okay big deal, and the best part about it is that she smiled. Now let's just take that a step further, this time (nothing seuxal lol), approach her face to face, maybe after school. Tell her you have feelings for her, be brave, and if she doesn't give you the expected response, that's okay!

[User-Unknown]

Look buddy, it will get better (cliche) but it's true. I know you don't want to follow your parents footsteps, it's the same with my parents. Talking to her at your youth group is already an amazing start. Don't let these negative thoughts get to you, just don't go after someone who doesn't think the same and end up with nothing. I'm not saying to stop going after her, I just don't want you to overthink the situation. You touched her back, okay big deal, and the best part about it is that she smiled. Now let's just take that a step further, this time (nothing seuxal lol), approach her face to face, maybe after school. Tell her you have feelings for her, be brave, and if she doesn't give you the expected response, that's okay!

Thank you for starting to understand the situation. But this girl has done a lot that makes me think she likes me BUT IS SHY, though now it seems she is opening up to me. She looks at me a lot, straight away says hi almost at the same time I do which she never did before (waited for me to say hi), she's smiled at me and hides her face - a major reason as to why I think me touching her back means something, because she looked over her shoulder, SPECIFICALLY SAW ME, looked down and smiled maybe it would have been different if it was someone else. Yes, talking to me is a big one she doesn't do. But she speaks to everyone else, gives eye contact, dusts their clothes, tells others she will sit on their lap. A lot of things an outgoing person does if they like someone, she does to a range of guys but me (she is not a flirty person, I overheard her say she is shy when talking to a friend). So of cause because I heard she is shy, it's making me think about it more, if not I would be even more confused as to why she is outgoing to a large group of guys (from specifically my youth group) but not to me. Also, your acting like I haven't spoken to her at all. I have spoken to her a lot, intact, i'm the one to start conversations with her, asking questions and telling her stuff.

[Emerald Dream]

OP banned. :locked: