Hello.

[Judah]

Well, my name's Judah, I'm 16 and I'm English. I came here because I'm on a massive downer at the moment in my life. I don't know if anyone else has experienced it but even though I have friends, and quite a few too, I feel quite lonely and I just want to find people and can relate to and share interests with.

Well that's me. Hopefully you'll see me posting around.
Bye for now.

[Judah]

Hi Sam!
That is exactly it! What you're saying sounds spot on. I am friends with my friends and I don't take them for granted at all but it's a little hard connecting with them. It's like I have to try and be someone else to fit in rather than be myself.
Though, I should point out at this point that a girl is a big part of it. I was best friends with her and I really, really liked her because she was different to everyone else and it just felt right with her and she finally told me she liked me back and broke up with her boyfriend because he was a piece of shit and we were going to be together. Obviously, it all went wrong and she went off with another boy and they have been together since and now I feel I have nothing and no one because the one person who understands me doesn't want me but eh, this isn't an advice thread is it?
Anyway, I'm not saying I'm looking for a replacement on here, god no, I'm just looking for some conversation when I'm feeling awful when I'm sitting lonely in my room. Something she used to give me.

[Judah]

It's just hard. I know I still have feelings for her and I know I always will because not a day has gone by in over a year where I haven't thought about her. I know I've made her sound really bad but she really is the most kind, caring person ever. She really is so special to me but I will just never be good enough for her. I'm not interested in other girls because none of them compare.

[Judah]

Thank you so much. This has been very helpful. I do just want to be happy again but she has always seemed like the only way to achieve that. Over the past year I've only been properly happy about two weeks and that was between when she wanted to start things up with us and when I found out about the other guy. I keep trying to concentrate on other things but there really is nothing else. I play music - I write songs about her, I hear music or watch tv- reminds me of her, I go out with friends - Either she's there with her boyfriend or I wish she was there (without her boyfriend, obviously). She just convinced me of a future where I would be happy which doesn't even compare to reality.