Forget-Me-Not
July 31st, 2014, 12:53 AM
Hey,
sooo not to much to say about myself other than, yeah i'm new.
Right now I feel pretty messed up and i'm not sure what to do about it.
seeing as this is an intro on a recovery sight I'll get to what i'm sure everyone would actually want to know about me.
I cut myself. I've tried burning myself but It's just not my poison. I abuse drugs and alcohol to make me happy. Anything that will make me happy, even for just a half hour, I'll jump at the opportunity. I know it needs to stop... but here's the thing... I'm not sure I want it too. I don't support drugs, alcohol, or self-harm in ANY way. let me make that clear before i proceed. I need help, And i'm not getting it here where I am. I got caught bleeding out in the bathrooms at my school by the school's vice principal, she set me up a counseling appointment through the government, i guess they forgot about me cause that was 4 months ago I think. I've been cutting since the age of 9. the worst of it is, I started with my friend cause it was fun. we didn't think it was serious cause we didn't cut deep at all. a few weeks later, I started cutting on my own and now i'm addicted. I feel I can't cope any other way. I have a boyfriend, an amazing one, he used to self harm too. now he just kinda forgot about it, it's not as easy for me. I'm addicted to my looks, I don't want to be but I am, he is so supportive of me and always wants to help, but I feel sop guilty for always feeling like I bring him down with my old "Habits". I don't ever want to tell him. but I do if I think it's serious enough. I don't have a problem with the way I look, I have a problem with who I am.
sooo not to much to say about myself other than, yeah i'm new.
Right now I feel pretty messed up and i'm not sure what to do about it.
seeing as this is an intro on a recovery sight I'll get to what i'm sure everyone would actually want to know about me.
I cut myself. I've tried burning myself but It's just not my poison. I abuse drugs and alcohol to make me happy. Anything that will make me happy, even for just a half hour, I'll jump at the opportunity. I know it needs to stop... but here's the thing... I'm not sure I want it too. I don't support drugs, alcohol, or self-harm in ANY way. let me make that clear before i proceed. I need help, And i'm not getting it here where I am. I got caught bleeding out in the bathrooms at my school by the school's vice principal, she set me up a counseling appointment through the government, i guess they forgot about me cause that was 4 months ago I think. I've been cutting since the age of 9. the worst of it is, I started with my friend cause it was fun. we didn't think it was serious cause we didn't cut deep at all. a few weeks later, I started cutting on my own and now i'm addicted. I feel I can't cope any other way. I have a boyfriend, an amazing one, he used to self harm too. now he just kinda forgot about it, it's not as easy for me. I'm addicted to my looks, I don't want to be but I am, he is so supportive of me and always wants to help, but I feel sop guilty for always feeling like I bring him down with my old "Habits". I don't ever want to tell him. but I do if I think it's serious enough. I don't have a problem with the way I look, I have a problem with who I am.