I feel like starving myself?

[Hideous]

I just feel like there is nothing more to life and while I'm trying to help everyone, no one really wants to care about me. I'm really sensitive when I talk to people and I take every little thing to heart. My parents don't support me emotionally and academically. They force me to do better in school when I need their help because I can't do everything on my own. I'm really insecure and I try to act like someone else so people can like me but when I do, people don't...even if I try to act like myself. I'm the outcast in my family, rumors spread about me around the family, and I'm just really quiet about it. Ive had arguments with my parents about school and everything, I've even tried to run away. My parents have their own arguments and my mom called the police once and I had to talk to them while my mom stood behind me and I feel like she only wants me because I'm cleaning up her dirty work. She owes many of my relatives money and she takes my allowance money that was I going to use to buy school supplies. I've tried killing myself twice and failed, I started smoking a year ago and I have the urge to smoke again. But for now, I just want to starve myself until I'm really weak. I sound really selfish right now but now I don't know what to do.

[ComfortableInChaos]

Look, if you ever need to talk to anyone, I'm here for you, man. Once you get 100 posts, you can PM me and we can talk about whatever's going on. Starving yourself is a really stupid, awful decision. Trust me, I've done it before and it isn't fun. I started feeling lightheaded, I got migraine headaches, I started to hallucinate a bit and I started freaking out. It's not a pleasant experience, I did it to lose weight. The thing about that is I wasn't even fat. I thought I was though... Look, don't do it. It sounds like you're doing it for attention and if you are, it'll make you look, I hate to say it, but pathetic... Anyway, hmu if you ever need to blow off steam or just wanna talk about things going on like this or whatever. Btw, I've tried killing myself too, I've smoked, drank, the oddball in my family, I'd different from everyone else. I'm also ultrasensitive too, so I know how you feel, dude. Just hmu sometime after your 100 posts.

[Hideous]

Look, if you ever need to talk to anyone, I'm here for you, man. Once you get 100 posts, you can PM me and we can talk about whatever's going on. Starving yourself is a really stupid, awful decision. Trust me, I've done it before and it isn't fun. I started feeling lightheaded, I got migraine headaches, I started to hallucinate a bit and I started freaking out. It's not a pleasant experience, I did it to lose weight. The thing about that is I wasn't even fat. I thought I was though... Look, don't do it. It sounds like you're doing it for attention and if you are, it'll make you look, I hate to say it, but pathetic... Anyway, hmu if you ever need to blow off steam or just wanna talk about things going on like this or whatever. Btw, I've tried killing myself too, I've smoked, drank, the oddball in my family, I'd different from everyone else. I'm also ultrasensitive too, so I know how you feel, dude. Just hmu sometime after your 100 posts.

Thanks, and I was thinking about starving myself not for attention but because I just feel like it's an easy way to harm myself rather than resorting to pills...etc. But thank you so much and I will :)

[Cognizant]

I'm not one to write big paragraphs of advice, but you certainly remind me of someone in my personal life. He would pretend to be someone so that he could get friends and affection. While he has a few friends, a lot of people know about this "fakeness" he possesses and in turn, dislike him or avoid talking to him. His family life is horrible - his parents aren't really involved in his life, and he hates his brother. He's done a lot of regrettable things because of it - he's self harmed, I believe he's attempted suicide, and he's even gone to the extent of soliciting sex out of other guys just so he can get attention and feel cared for. And you know what? I honestly think that if he was just more genuine, so to speak, his life would be better (and not so many people would hate his guts)

So here's my tidbit of advice: I'm not accusing you of being ingenuine or failing to get help, but let your parents know that they're fucking up your life and that you want to change your family life (if you haven't already). And of course, if you want to just talk to someone about it, feel free to message me on here or add me on Skype.

Cheers! :hug:

[Hideous]

I'm not one to write big paragraphs of advice, but you certainly remind me of someone in my personal life. He would pretend to be someone so that he could get friends and affection. While he has a few friends, a lot of people know about this "fakeness" he possesses and in turn, dislike him or avoid talking to him. His family life is horrible - his parents aren't really involved in his life, and he hates his brother. He's done a lot of regrettable things because of it - he's self harmed, I believe he's attempted suicide, and he's even gone to the extent of soliciting sex out of other guys just so he can get attention and feel cared for. And you know what? I honestly think that if he was just more genuine, so to speak, his life would be better (and not so many people would hate his guts)

So here's my tidbit of advice: I'm not accusing you of being ingenuine or failing to get help, but let your parents know that they're fucking up your life and that you want to change your family life (if you haven't already). And of course, if you want to just talk to someone about it, feel free to message me on here or add me on Skype.

Cheers! :hug:

You just described my whole life (except for the sex part) but yeah I would actually run to anyone just so I can be loved and cared for. Idk whether I'm genuine or not to people, but it's hard for me to explain this to people because they'll just think I'm insane and crazy. I get so caught up on other peoples lives, I don't really have time to work on my own. I get so work up on what other people think of me and that's when I try to act like a completely different person to impress them and that's also when the "fake it till you make it" comes into play. Whenever I make certain decisions, people don't respect me because of it and that's when I start doubting myself and hating myself and I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. Thank you so much for your advice!!

[thatgothgirluknow]

that's not selfish and its wrong of her to take your money don't beat urself up though u don't deserve to starve and in the end it wont help anything things will get better don't worry

[Cognizant]

You just described my whole life (except for the sex part) but yeah I would actually run to anyone just so I can be loved and cared for. Idk whether I'm genuine or not to people, but it's hard for me to explain this to people because they'll just think I'm insane and crazy. I get so caught up on other peoples lives, I don't really have time to work on my own. I get so work up on what other people think of me and that's when I try to act like a completely different person to impress them and that's also when the "fake it till you make it" comes into play. Whenever I make certain decisions, people don't respect me because of it and that's when I start doubting myself and hating myself and I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. Thank you so much for your advice!!

I feel you. I'm the same way - I bend myself in so many ways so that I can be friends with the superstars that are friends with everyone at my school. It's often hard for me to expose my true shell to people, because I often worry that people won't like the real me. But you know what? The people who know my true side are also the people I'm the most close to. I just don't know how to open up to other people that well, and it's something i've been trying to work on in therapy.

Even if people don't seem like they'll like the real side to you, you never know till you try. :) that's the lovely thing about VT, too, is you can be as free as you want to be and meet some great people in the process

[ComfortableInChaos]

Thanks, and I was thinking about starving myself not for attention but because I just feel like it's an easy way to harm myself rather than resorting to pills...etc. But thank you so much and I will :)

Well if it's to do a self harm thing, then I would say to do something else (not of the self harm category.) I've cut, starved myself, jumped out of a two story window... Nothing did the results I wanted... But one time, it takes that one more cut or jump or day of starvation for you to be gone so quickly... What caused me to be suicidal and self harming is my friend's suicide and I thought it was the best decision. I've realized, now, that it won't do what you actually want.

[Hideous]

Well if it's to do a self harm thing, then I would say to do something else (not of the self harm category.) I've cut, starved myself, jumped out of a two story window... Nothing did the results I wanted... But one time, it takes that one more cut or jump or day of starvation for you to be gone so quickly... What caused me to be suicidal and self harming is my friend's suicide and I thought it was the best decision. I've realized, now, that it won't do what you actually want.

You're absolutely right.

[Andrew.]

Wow you like my brother..... Same problems/ problem here :(. I hope you're okey

[Karkat]

Well if it's to do a self harm thing, then I would say to do something else (not of the self harm category.) I've cut, starved myself, jumped out of a two story window... Nothing did the results I wanted... But one time, it takes that one more cut or jump or day of starvation for you to be gone so quickly... What caused me to be suicidal and self harming is my friend's suicide and I thought it was the best decision. I've realized, now, that it won't do what you actually want.

I can relate to this a lot, and I have to agree.

I've been struggling a lot with binge eating, emotional eating, and bulimic tendencies I thought I'd entirely gotten rid of. (I'm coming to terms with the fact that I binged and purged a lot during 8th grade because of an abusive ex.)

I starve myself a lot. I haven't purged in years aside from exercise, thankfully (I have come close in recent weeks), but I do have the tendency to go for days without eating.

Food makes me sick. It makes me physically sick to eat now. Even if I'm hungry, or the food smells/tastes really good. It's hard to eat. I'm genuinely thankful when I can eat a good meal without being incapacitated for the rest of the day due to nausea and stomach cramps. But I still fast, out of habit.

Please don't starve yourself. Or hurt yourself. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here as well, though I'm off and on a lot right now.

Stay safe please. <3