Long Distance?

[Crystalline]

I was curious if anyone else on this website was in currently or previously been in an online/long distance relationship? If you don't mind maybe telling me if you guys have met in person and if so how many times and how you deal with the separation?

I'm currently in one that started out online. When we met we had the most amazing connection and got even stronger once we met face to face. I'm about to see him in person for the fourth time and we are both super excited. ^.^ We text, call, and send pictures mainly although we also occasionally video chat. He seems to handle the distance easier than I can. I'm the type of girl that likes to be with my man as much as I can. If anyone has any tips on how to stay patient and just ,in general, deal with being in a long distance relationship that would be awesome!

[JoBear]

Me and a guy was in an long distance relationship. I met him in another state while on vacation. I onlt seen him in person once. We always talked,texted,skyped,etc. After a few months we both realised this wasnt going to work. My advice to you is to keep doing what you are doing. Sounds to me you guys are doing great. Just be patient. As long as trust and honesty is involved everything is fine.I wish you the best in your relationship!!!

[Cognizant]

I've had a few "online relationships". One was full-on over the web, and the other was where a majority of our conversation was digital.

My first full online relationship was with someone I met here on VT. (don't even bother asking me who it is, cause I'm not going to tell you.) He lived a few states away and I was only 15 at the time, so obviously we never met irl. Honestly, not being able to see him sucked out loud. Every time we talked I wished I could be there in his arms and just cuddle all day long. I couldn't really resolve it, so I ended up just breaking things off with him. And yes, I still do partially miss him =\

My first "real life" boyfriend was also predominantly made possible by facebook/text messaging. We first met in real life, but he lived in the city and I live in the suburb so I could really only see him on weekends and I'd often have sleepovers with him. Not to mention his place was 2 hours away by means of public transit so it's not something I could do on a school day (trust me I've tried, it really doesn't work well). I still hated the fact I couldn't see him daily, but it put me at ease that I could always see him over the weekend :) So yeah, we met almost every weekend for the 6 months we were dating.

[Gumleaf]

For me it doesn't matter how you met, but whether in the close to medium term future, will you be able to be physically together? For it to work, you have to be both super committed and both be keeping the lines of communication open frequently. The main thing I would suggest from my own experience is to spend as much time together as possible and try and not let the busyness of life stop you. My ex gf and me were together for 3.5 years and absolutely smitten. Then she moved away and we talked less and eventually she ended it because she found someone else where she moved to. I can tell you that's one of the worst feelings in the world and wouldn't wish it upon anyone. So therefore I think regular communication is the key and spending as much time together as possible. Hope it works out for you. :)

[Rallo]

I was recently in a long distance relationship, she was over 10,000 miles away actually...

16months together in total. Only thing that really kept things going was looking forward to a date which we would meet. Set a date you want to meet by and really put your everything into making it happen, have a little count down if it helps! :D
Other than that, when they're not there video chats are amazing, they help a lot. When they can't video chat, just little messages between each other saying what you're currently doing or if anything interesting happens helps.

Avoid becoming too dependent on their attention, you have to remember with LDRs your lives are still some what separate; you go to different schools, do different out-of-school activities, etc. Don't start skipping school or turning down various important events to make more time to contact them and try to encourage them to not do this either.
In my personal experience, the girl I was dating and I both started skipping various activities and events to sit on a video call to each other all day, everyday. It got to the point where if one couldn't, the other would feel down all day because of how dependent we had become of each other. This was fine at first as we both were fine with Skyping for 10-15hours a day.. After a while we became quite bored of this though, everything had been said and done and well, it sucked. We both wanted to do our own things, though really couldn't due to the dependencies of the other. For example, if I said I wanted to go out with friends for a day instead of Skyping she would become paranoid and was hurt by this, and this was the same the other way around too.
Don't fall into this cycle, keep your lives some-what seperate; both have your own group of friends locally, both continue with activities you enjoy and don't start skipping school or anything to be in contact with them more. Best tip I can give.

[Crystalline]

Thank you all for your stories and advice! It's really refreshing to know there are more people that have been through this.

[Wyatt 13]

I had a crush with a guy who lives in Canada. Went bad LOL.

[Melodic]

I was previously in one, however the reason it was a long distance was already a complicated story. Then we went through a bunch of conversational pauses because of life problems, and after 5 months of not hearing anything, I broke things off. I still love him a lot and cherish everything, distance and no distance. But sometimes two lives can't click enough to make it work.

[Body odah Man]

Distant relationship is difficult when you seek for somebody who really hob to nob in emotional terms. But for realy die-hard peolple, who love each other or ready to wait for a long time or ready to move across half of the world is OK. My sister is person of this kind for example: she met her BF online on facebook or originclub.com or smthn like that. She awaited for 1 and 1/2 year (!!!) until she met her BF IRL, they got married month ago) So you can try))

That's encouraging :)

[Stronger]

Yeah I had one that lasted all of 3-4 months give or take. He helped me with something and our bond grew but slowly stuff occurred to put it least, and long story short it didn't work out; and never again will I do one, expect with maybe one other person, don't bother asking who they are because it doesn't matter at this point. But I hope my opinion helps.

[Croconaw]

I am currently in one. We video chat, but we've never met in person.

[melissurr]

Mine lasted 5 months and he was from a small town in Canada yet communication was not an issue as he was an insomniac. About 10 times during our relationship we didn't speak because he was sleeping. I never met him in real life but I spoke to him on the phone&video chat&sent selfies when we couldn't. He 'introduced' me to his closest friends too. It was going so well but I didn't hear anything from him in one week and when I asked his best friend I found out he already had his own girlfriend of a year where he was that he only really seen in school and was on the verge of splitting up so mine didn't turn out so well but I do still miss him sometimes.