Coming Out...?

[Jake the Cake]

Hey, I'm 17 now and out of school, and I've begun thinking about how I'll eventually need to come out of the closet to my family... I'm terrified to do so, since everyone but my dad and his dad are christians. My mom and her boyfriend aren't the type to start saying people with tattoos, dyed hair, and aren't straight will go to hell, but the rest are for the most part. Every time I talk to a family member, I'm flooded with an insane and unbearable amount of guilt and fear. My cousin told me that ever since I graduated, I had this constant empty but sorry expression like I did something horribly wrong and accepted a death penalty for it.

I don't want to live like this anymore. Every day, I end up having at least one hour of me arguing with myself over whether or not I'm just going to be better off pretending to be straight forever, or if im secretly hated by everyone, or if im the cause of everyone's problems in life. I can barely even eat or sleep anymore because of how much it's stressing me out, and I keep getting terrified to the point of having to try not to cry every once in a while now, feeling like I'll be one of the unfortunate few who gets disowned and such. I'm also pretty afraid for my cousin because he thinks he might be bi, but on his 10th birthday his mom told him if he's even a little bisexual or gay, she'll remove him from the family tree, sell everything he has, disown him, file a restraining order so he can't go near any of his family members there or anywhere they often go or own, and will treat him as if he never existed. Plus, if she can do that to her own son, I'm afraid of what she can do to me. What's even worse is my dad's mom is at least 4 times worse. If you're a gamer like me, you could say my aunt is like first boss difficulty and my dad's mom is like final boss on hard difficulty when it comes to how passionately they hate the very idea of someone being anything other than a heterosexual masculine male or feminine female.

I'm afraid of even talking to them now since I may very well end up snapping on them completely if they say anything even close to that. I mean, I snapped on my childhood best friend's dad because he said how he thinks gays are all pretty stupid for "choosing to have sex with AIDS and shit instead of boobs and pussies" and laughed. If I snap on a family member the way I did on him, then I'll end up hurting someone emotionally, and very likely even physically. I'm really scared, but I need to find a way to come out of the closet and, hopefully, not maim anyone in the process. Hopefully I'll come out smoothly soon, since this stress is depressing me too.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

It really seems like you're in a pickle. Perhaps you should wait until you're 18 and then come out. That way, you aren't legally binded to them and afterwards you can walk out of their lives never to return.

[GoGoDiego]

Come out of your shell already. Admit it straightforward to your parents and tell them that you could not stand it. Remember, no one should care if one is straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or a tranny. What is essential is respect.

[Living For Love]

I think you should wait until your life is a bit more stable, maybe, and when you feel more independent from your family, in case the worst scenario happens. Remember, this isn't an easy process, you need to take it pretty slowly, especially when you have a family like that. I'm sure they'll still love you, but, you know, they will never look at you in the same wait. For now, try simply not to worry about it, you're too young to feel depressed over something like that. I understand how your sexuality is important in terms of defining your personality, but don't try to rush it, everything will come to light eventually, you don't need to worry about it now.

[Jake the Cake]

Well, guess my dad found out and told me yesterday, but he's actually really accepting of it :O
I'm honestly very surprised as to how he took it.

[Cognizant]

Well, guess my dad found out and told me yesterday, but he's actually really accepting of it :O
I'm honestly very surprised as to how he took it.

That's great! Next thing is to tell your mother. Start gradual, and just tell the people that you know are accepting. I can understand if you're not comfortable, but I would actually encourage you to tell the people that aren't as accepting (like your aunt or your paternal grandmother) something along the lines of "I'm gay, take it or leave it. It's who I am and if you can't accept that, well then I guess you can go live in ignorance without me."

Cause honestly, they either need to open their eyes or you need to get out.

[Bmble_B]

It really seems like you're in a pickle. Perhaps you should wait until you're 18 and then come out. That way, you aren't legally binded to them and afterwards you can walk out of their lives never to return.
I agree with nerdy guy, wait until you're 18.

[Straya]

Well, guess my dad found out and told me yesterday, but he's actually really accepting of it :O
I'm honestly very surprised as to how he took it.
thats great and yea id say your next stop is your mum the rest of the family dosent need to know and just so you know they cant get a restraining order on someone unless they can prove that the person is a genuine threat to there safety and been gay dosent fall into that category so your aunt and family cant really do anything against you but ignor you in the family

[Jake the Cake]

Well, my mom is christian too, but not as extremely hardcore as the others.