DesolatePantha
July 17th, 2014, 08:35 PM
I don't get this, I've been self harming in secret for quite a few months now, I started on new years day. My mum found out by the end of January (I was surprised I lasted 1 week with it in secret, I went from walking around in shorts and t-shirts to wearing sleeves all the time, on top of that I am deaf so I couldn't hear any one approaching my area). But I carried on and she still has nno idea I've carried it on, anyway I havn't self harmed for 2 weeks now, and last night I had the first dream that actually bothered me. I can't remember it properly, but I went through some traumatic incident that tore up my body, everyone just accepted it as an accident, my stomach was full of cuts 7 layers deep in to my skin and so were my arms, but in my dream I continued to self harm, and had to hide the fact that the fresh cuts were increasing. In my dream I had amnesia, and I somehow ended up in this dark empty garage, then it all came back to me that there was no "traumatic incident" that was a cover up story and that all the scars were really done by my hand, then suddenly all the blood started pouring out my wounds, my mum walked up to me and I just whispered "I'm sorry" (I was too weak to speak louder) then collapsed, then I was standing as a soul, watching my mum hug and cry over my dead body, then I woke up. The image of my stomach and arms being torn up pretty badly keep flashing back in my mind, my eyesight will go black then I'll have a headache and whilst I rub my head I'll visualise the images of my torn up stomach. I don't really get the dream, dreams are meant to be an expression of whats on your mind right? But self harm has never really bothered me before, if anything I'm fascinated by scars/injuries.
I'm not going to go in to detail about my life, I don't plan on sharing that, and my story of how I got in to self harming. I just want an answer to help me understand my dream, it really made me feel uncomfortable.
I'm not going to go in to detail about my life, I don't plan on sharing that, and my story of how I got in to self harming. I just want an answer to help me understand my dream, it really made me feel uncomfortable.