I hate my best friend

[Avenida105]

I know that's an ironic statement, if someone is your best friend or just even your friend then why would you hate him.

A little bit of background. I've been friends with this guy for all of high school, we did the same sport together, we didn't have a lot of classes together but we would always hang out after school. We went through the same changes together and he even helped me out through a horrible depression. As weird as it seems he's the closest thing I have to a brother and were so close that were able to just say I love you to each other without having it to be anything sexual or anything else. We've even traveled abroad together, were going to the sme college and possibly dorming together. Yet lately I've been feeling a little bit of jealousy and I've been feeling like I hate him for periods of time.

I'm not sure if I'm just psycho but I have this strange feeling in my gut that he is lying and that he is only taking advantage of our friendship, I've never actually proven it but I just feel like he just talks shit being my back. I also feel like I just might be his foil of character. He could just be using me to stand out. He's clearly the "dominant" friend if you would like to put it that way, he's taller than me, better looking, smother around girls, etc. He could just be my friend in order to make himself even look better, or it could just be my mind messing with me?

It's come to the point in which I even feel annoyed when he talks to me, I just feel like his life is so perfect, he has rich parents, he doesn't have to worry about working and things just go well for him. I know it sounds selfish but I just can't stand him being happy, every time he tells me his good news I just feel like strangling him. I just feel like he just wants to rub his perfect little life all over me. Its come to the point where I just want to cut off our friendship, but then when I'm about to I feel bad.

I know its a long post, but any advice would be great, I honestly don't know how to deal with this anymore.

[Pulp501]

I had a friend like that, we were extremely close, but he was a cool guy, really popular, good looking, funny, and I'm more of the weird guy, who can't get girls or play sports, and it ended up with him becoming so much cooler than me that he wouldn't hang out with me. I never was that jealous of him that I hated him, in fact, if he ever decided I was good enough for him, I'd hang out with him again. I don't think you should cut off your friendship, just try to stop being so anxious about your friendship

[Steve Jobs]

It sounds like you're just insecure. Be yourself!

There's nothing I see happen more often than friendships breaking down because of miscommunication and insecurity on both ends. By what you've described, it sounds like you both value each other a lot as friends and you hold a tight bond that many people don't, but really aspire to have!

Try and have a casual conversation with him sometime, and just bring in matters like your future, dreams & troubles. Sometimes people like to show others that their lives are going great as a cover because they don't want to be pitied for whatever kind of hardship they're going through. He could even be jealous of something you aren't even aware of and is trying to match himself up. It's human nature, we're all born competitive.

The last thing you want to do is break apart a friendship over a matter like that, and you will never truly value your friendship until the day you lose it. The next time you feel hatred towards him, imagine how your life would have been if you've never had him in your life - going through depression & all of those years by yourself with no one standing beside you!

:bigsmile:

[Living For Love]

I've had a friend like that in the past. He was like really popular, outgoing and handsome and had lots of success with girls and I was like this weirdo, shy kid, but we were really good friends, I don't remember how we actually became friends, though, because we were so different, but it worked well while it lasted. He sometimes said stuff that kinda hurt me, but I guess that happens in pretty much every friendship, and I don't think he meant it.

Anyway, I think the thing here is, you can't let yourself become so submissive towards him. Stay friends, of course, and try to control yourself when he says those things, because I think he doesn't do it to upset you on purpose, but try, in the meanwhile, to get more friends other than him. That way you won't feel so dependent, and therefore, so annoyed when he says those things to you.

[Avenida105]

I had a friend like that, we were extremely close, but he was a cool guy, really popular, good looking, funny, and I'm more of the weird guy, who can't get girls or play sports, and it ended up with him becoming so much cooler than me that he wouldn't hang out with me. I never was that jealous of him that I hated him, in fact, if he ever decided I was good enough for him, I'd hang out with him again. I don't think you should cut off your friendship, just try to stop being so anxious about your friendship

That sucks, at least in my case I don't feel like he wants to stop hanging out with me I mean popularity wise were pretty much the same, there are just those few things I said before that really annoy me. It's as if whenever he is happy or anything good happens to him I just get angry. Maybe you're right and I'm just being too anxious about things. I just feel like he's the dominant friend like if I died everyone would be like oh wait who was that kid, but if he died it would be a national tragedy.

Maybe I'm not good around people who are better than me. Which I know shouldn't matter but I've always had self esteem issues.


The last thing you want to do is break apart a friendship over a matter like that, and you will never truly value your friendship until the day you lose it. The next time you feel hatred towards him, imagine how your life would have been if you've never had him in your life - going through depression & all of those years by yourself with no one standing beside you!



If he would have not helped out idk what would have happened. I asked him once why he helped and he said that I'm a good friend and that that's the least he could have done. That's why I sometimes hate him because he's nice too, its like he doesn't even have any flaws. The only two things in which I was better than him was at running and at school, but those are things that barely matter.

I think I might be feeling this because my self-esteem issues have been acting up again, but you can't blame me its like literally the people that befriend me are always better than me. I always feel its because they know they're better and it just wants to enhance the way they look

[Steve Jobs]

If he would have not helped out idk what would have happened. I asked him once why he helped and he said that I'm a good friend and that that's the least he could have done. That's why I sometimes hate him because he's nice too, its like he doesn't even have any flaws. The only two things in which I was better than him was at running and at school, but those are things that barely matter.

I think I might be feeling this because my self-esteem issues have been acting up again, but you can't blame me its like literally the people that befriend me are always better than me. I always feel its because they know they're better and it just wants to enhance the way they look

How about look at things the other way, and see them as role models for the things they do well! Find your hobbies and passions, a common interest is always a great way to bond and improve a relationship with someone. You seem selfless, and that's a good trait to have, but having a friend that's "better" than you at something would give you something to aspire to be, or improve upon for yourself. :lol: