The older sister that i will never meet.

[Lisa R]

Two days ago i learned of a sister that i or my twin brother will never meet. Mom and i was in the kitchen making apple fritters as we often spend time in the kitchen baking or cooking. This time she let something slip out about her oldest daughter i told her i was her oldest and only daughter she said I'm her second daughter . That's when she proceded to explain. She then told me i had a older sister that died at birth she would have been 2 years older than i am. Now i have so many feelings i can't control . I feel anger for not telling my brother and i sooner. Sadness for the loss i never knew i had. curious feeling of not knowing her and growing up with her. The life growing up with my twin brother was the greatest gift god gave me. But i can't help but wonder what a older sister would be like. With the wonering,sadness curiosity,and anger i feel so hollow and lonely inside with all these feeling inside. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel any more I'm glad she told us but on the other hand if she wouldn't have told us i wouldn't have these feelings. I guess this is a vent to get it out. After venting i can't help wondering what if she would have lived.

[Leeka]

everybody has those kinds of feeling towards something but sooner or later it will pass, or maybe you feel that way because your mom didnt tell you about this sister that you'll never meet but have you thought of how your mom feels when she thinks or remember her? i bet for her its just pain..... not to make you feel bad or judge you, but sometimes in life we should be more considerate to the people around us and think on their be-halves. Hope you feel better sooner or later :D

[Lisa R]

everybody has those kinds of feeling towards something but sooner or later it will pass, or maybe you feel that way because your mom didnt tell you about this sister that you'll never meet but have you thought of how your mom feels when she thinks or remember her? i bet for her its just pain..... not to make you feel bad or judge you, but sometimes in life we should be more considerate to the people around us and think on their be-halves. Hope you feel better sooner or later :D

Yes i have thought about her pain. I have talked to her and her feelings but she doesn't tell me much only that she died at birth and she is 2 years older than my brother and I.
and when she was born and her name
At first there was anger but now i understand a little and anger has faded.
Emptiness,curiosity,and most of all the wondering remains. I wonder what it would be like growing up with her?Would we fight constantly or be the best of friends? Would my life be that much different than it is now and if so how would it be different.?? So many what ifs and wondering. All i can think of now is damn her for dieing . I'm i so wrong to think this?

I'm sorry to hear that .I know how you feel, i had a younger brother ,he died at the birth too. My mom told me that 8 years later. I felt the same like you, sad ,angry ,but trust me, it will go away. But sometimes i still think how would be to have a brother. Your mom probally didn't told you that because you wouldn't understand. If you talk to someone about it it will be easier and you will get over it faster, maybe your parents or your brother.

I have talked with mom and dad and i understand and anger has faded. But can't stop thinking what if she would have lived what life would be like with her in our lives. A lot of what ifs and wondering. Will the wondering ever stop? I also talked to my brother and he is just as confused as i am with no answers.

Please don't double post ~ Mike/ImCoolBeans

[Waleedbt]

I also had an older brother that died before birth though.
He was also kinda 2 years older.

[Lisa R]

I thank everyone for the support that i have gotten .Talking to people of this community has helped so much that things has came into perspective. The wondering will always remain in my life and that is ok. Again thank you all.

[Bmble_B]

I'm sorry to hear that :(
And I'm glad to hear you're feeling better.

[deregisterme]

I found out at 16 (I've just turned 18 recently) that my mum had a miscarriage at 3 months on her 21st birthday (my parents were married when she was 20). I had the shock, the tears, the wonderment of being the youngest of 3, and even the (possibly selfish) thought that if my parents wanted 2 kids and weather I would even be here. I've since heard how (sadly) common these things are. I've learned over time that it's a part of life, and now fell as much for the pain that my parents went through losing a child before getting 2 boys, that they dearly love, just as I'm sure your mum loves you and your brother. It's good to know that you're now OK with the situation. I no longer feel the emotions going through me when I found out, though I do still occasionally remember and still think "what if"

[Emerald Dream]

OP is banned. :locked: