Heteronormatism. Good, Bad, Neutral?

[Lovelife090994]

Heteronormatism. Okay, I'm going to go Laci Green here and ask. Have you heard of heteronormatism? Well, if you haven't it's basically how our society works. How over 90% of presented couples are the plain Jane man and woman type of thing. It is also when something caters more to people who are heterosexual versus anything else. Sometimes heteronormatism works and makes sense especially if a certain story revolves around a man and woman who fall in love. You wouldn't expect the man to dump the girl for a guy in the end right? Probably not if the story follows the "traditional" route.

But let's be honest; traditions change and can exclude people. Just look at bathrooms, they are made for strictly men and women but no one in-between or gender-fluid? Why is that when everyone in a restroom is in there to do one thing? Maybe that idea doesn't fitbut it goes along with this heteronormative world of how we fit into this chessboard of this or that when life is like a rainbow in several different colors and variants. But if not eveyone is this or that, or heterosexual why do we have heteronormatism? True, men and women work and live, even love together and in the end make babies, but isn't that idea that we all are too a little outdated?

So what do you think, is heteronormatism, good, bad, neutral, or depends on situation? Let me know and let's see. (Yes I know I sound like Laci right now, just bear with me, I'm on a giddy mood right now and for me that is rare and good.)

[phuckphace]

I don't know why the Tumblrites thought they needed to coin the word "heteronormative" because there's already a less cumbersome word for that, "normal." if there's one thing Tumblr hates, it's those ugh heteronormative neurotypical breeders, so of course they want to make being a normal healthy individual a hate crime or something. my guess is another 10 years before we see the bill pass da House of Representin'.

[Gamma Male]

Well 90% of people are hetero(or so they claim), so it makes sense that there would be more representation of heteros than lgbt people. However, there's still a lot of big problems with heteronormatism when it comes to things like not teaching gay sex ed, enforcing gender stereotypes upon kids and teenagers by discouraging "sissyness" in guys and, to a lesser extant, discouraging girls from being tomboys. That needs to stop. I mean, the very fact that people still even need to "come out" and it's still such a huge deal is ridiculous. In an ideal society, everybody would assume everyone else is potentially bisexual as opposed to straight, and if you decided you wanted to fdate another guy you would just date another guy, and nobody would bat an eye.

Also, what phuckpface said was really dumb. Nobody wants to make being hetero a bad thing, we just want more representation of lgbt people too. I've never seen a gay guy play the straight homophobe victim card. He must've had some sort of weird upbringing or something.

[ImCoolBeans]

Heteronormatism sucks. It's frustrating to be treated differently by people, even if they are accepting and open to homosexuality. What a lot of people fail to realize is that you don't have to be anti-gay to have a heteronormative mindset, just like you don't have to hate black people to be racist.

I don't know why the Tumblrites thought they needed to coin the word "heteronormative" because there's already a less cumbersome word for that, "normal." if there's one thing Tumblr hates, it's those ugh heteronormative neurotypical breeders, so of course they want to make being a normal healthy individual a hate crime or something. my guess is another 10 years before we see the bill pass da House of Representin'.

Bringing attention to heteronormatism isn't about making a bad name for heterosexuals... It's about bringing attention to the fact that there are people who have a mindset where they see straight people as normal, and if you're not straight, then you're not normal. I think you're a little misguided on the topic.

[Karagor]

I think whilst discrimination is never good, I don't see a need to have more than 2 kinds of bathrooms. The only reason we have male and female is because guys don't want to have to cue up behind women when all they need to do is pee (Which, to be honest, they can do in the sink.)

Before making more segregation in bathrooms, by making a third kind of bathroom, how about we fix the problem that men and women aren't allowed to see each other without clothes on? That way, we fix the root of the problem, and not just a symptom. That way, we make people not care which bathroom they use, they just go to the one with the shortest cue.

[StoppingTime]

I think whilst discrimination is never good, I don't see a need to have more than 2 kinds of bathrooms. The only reason we have male and female is because guys don't want to have to cue up behind women when all they need to do is pee (Which, to be honest, they can do in the sink.)

Before making more segregation in bathrooms, by making a third kind of bathroom, how about we fix the problem that men and women aren't allowed to see each other without clothes on? That way, we fix the root of the problem, and not just a symptom. That way, we make people not care which bathroom they use, they just go to the one with the shortest cue.

The bathroom example that was used in the OP doesn't really make any sense to me. Heteronormatism isn't about having "more than two" bathrooms because (at least from how I understand it) heteronormatism is about combatting gender stereotypes (i.e. there aren't only two genders and all that).

Instead, it's more about what Gamma Male said in people automatically assuming that heterosexuality is the default, and everything else should be treated as "different" or "other."

[Miserabilia]

It's anything but good.
Sounds to me like another trans snowflake tumblr invention.
Sure, heternormatism exists; that's because most people are heterosexual, or atleast concider themselves to be.
And really?
Bathrooms?

On a very related note,
don't get me wrong, I think homosexuals or bisexuals pansexuals any sexuality whatsoever can be and should be represented. I think men and women and trans people should be represented.
But if someone is not sure of they're gender themselves, they can't expect the world to adjust to "unsure" gender; being unsure of it means you don't know, and that sounds to me like you're not going to care if you are treated as either male or female.
Sorry for the term unsure, it's not very specific.
Mainly refering to the new "gender identities" that are born in tumblr every day.

On a related note on that note,
I'm sounding hateful right now, sorry. I respect all gender and sexuality but I also think that alot of people are blowing things out of proportion, like bathrooms.

[UnknownError]

Mainly refering to the new "gender identities" that are born in tumblr every day.

i literally dont believe in them. like wtf, who is honestly going to use ANY of these for example: http://genderqueeries.tumblr.com/titles

[Miserabilia]

i literally dont believe in them. like wtf, who is honestly going to use ANY of these for example: http://genderqueeries.tumblr.com/titles

And most of them combine that with "otherkin" ('don't refer to me as human, I am a dweller of the stars!')
sigh

[Jean Poutine]

lol @ otherkin : "I'm not a human, you monkey scum, I am a great DRAGON born in a human body. You can tell because my back hurts so that's basically the pain from my wings."

Here's my thoughts on this :

Biological gender is (mostly) binary. No amount of beating around the bush will change that. If you have a dick, you're a guy. If you have a pussy, you're a girl. If you manage to exchange your dick for a pussy, you're a girl, and if you manage to exchange your pussy for a dick, you're a guy. If you're somehow born with both and you want to keep both then go ahead and refer to yourself as a boygirl or bigender or whatever.

If you feel like a girl but you have a dick, until the operation, you're still a guy, and likewise for the reverse.

I do not think mindset has anything to do with gender. This mindset is born from psychology and culture. Conflating what's in your head and what's between your legs is a mistake. Being a really feminine man doesn't mean you're bigender, it means you are a really feminine man. Being androgynous doesn't mean you are genderless (unless you are an eunuch), it means you like to blur the cultural definition of the two genders. Likewise, identifying as an otherkin doesn't mean you're not human, it means you think you're a dragon/elf/angel/vampire, but the reality is there. You are a human.

With that being said, I fully support the normalization in society of being LGBT, but I reject any attempt to go any farther than this, because aside from same-sex love and gender disorder syndromes I think other denominations are nonsensical and simply wishful thinking. While I reject genders having predetermined roles in life, I think that the word "gender" is best left to biology, and the cultural definition of genders needs to be enlarged to perfectly correlate with a person's reproductive parts ie. anyone with a penis is a man, but anyone with a penis can choose to act like and do whatever he wants, culture be damned.

[Elvalight]

Every sexual/romantic orientation should be treated as normal and equal.

[Typhlosion]

"Heteronormativity is the belief that people fall into distinct and complementary genders (man and woman) with natural roles in life. It asserts that heterosexuality is the only sexual orientation or only norm, and states that sexual and marital relations are most (or only) fitting between people of opposite sexes"

I'll go as far to say that men and women may complement each other, through biological differences, but the rest is BS. I could objectively say that heterosexuality is preferred, evolutionarily speaking, but that might already make some people go bananas.

[Lovelife090994]

I'll go as far to say that men and women may complement each other, through biological differences, but the rest is BS. I could objectively say that heterosexuality is preferred, evolutionarily speaking, but that might already make some people go bananas.

Biologically speaking even nature is heterosexual usually sans for bats, spiders, and a few other animals with a lot of homosexual tendencies.

[phuckphace]

other species do X so that clearly means human beings in complex societies can also do X with the same results!

[Lovelife090994]

Thanks for all the replies.

[Perfectly Flawed]

I don't believe it causes any problems for society. What causes problems is when people start harassing others over a sign that shows a homosexual act or relationship. Most of the population is straight so most of the portrayals of sexuality will be based around heterosexuals and that's totally fine. What's not fine is when homosexuals and other LGBT+ groups aren't allowed to portray their sexualities.

[shadysam]

this must be a troll post. who thinks this stuff up?

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

this must be a troll post. who thinks this stuff up?

I don't think you've been here long enough to know that this is pretty much the norm around this place.
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I suppose it does suck that everything from TV to movies to music to books to media is aimed predominantly at the typical hetero couple, I wish that there were more stuff aimed at the LGBT audience, or at least some show where a character mentioning they were gay didn't stir up a whole mess of controversy.