I do not understand girls....

[SillyShyGuy]

I am confused as to why some girls choose to date jocks and jerks and get mad at them when they end up becoming heart broken. They should have dated a nice guy, a dork who would respect them and not abuse them. I am not saying all girls are like this, but the girls that are drive me crazy. It does not make any sense because nice guys are waiting to date the girl of their dreams, but she would rather be hurt by a jerk than date a dork.

For example, I have a job, I go to school, and I do not do any drugs. I dress nice, and have good manners. The guy my ex cheated on me with is not employed, does not go to school, and smokes/ drinks alcohol.

I would consider that a down-grade rather than an upgrade. I know in my heart I did nothing wrong. I opened doors for her, told her she was pretty all the time, and did not abuse her. This new guy is controlling, taking her phone away to see her texts and go into her social network accounts. That is bad. The other thing is that she wanted to make love to me, but I said no because I wanted to be a virgin.

I am confused. If she left me just because I did not sleep with her, then she is filthy and trashy. If she left me for other reasons, then I would like to know what they were. There is no way she will be able to make a living with a loser like him. Why do girls chose the bad, dirty, rebellious guys? Why do they choose unsuccessful and unhealthy people?

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

This is one of the things that I really don't understand. Perhaps they simply hook up for the sex. You need to find a girl who wants a true emotional connection.

[Karagor]

TeenageGirls like mystery and they like thinking they can "fix" the guy, whatever that means. To get my current girlfriend, I started out acting like I didn't care about her to make her want me more... Now it's the other way round, she drives me crazy when she doesn't reply to my texts for hours :P

[riverboy]

I got 2 sisters and I can't understand them. Just when I think I do I really don't.

[ashdyn]

You sound like a great guy and all but I think she just wants a little more excitement in her life. It really depends on the where the girl is in her life maturity wise. You sir are mature and self-aware...you need to find a girl that's like you.

Girls deciding which guys to like and go after is kinda like guys picking which cars they want.
You're given the chance to pick between two cars one is affordable and reliable and practical for your needs, the other is a really expensive sports car with only two seats.
Some guys will go for the sexy car even though it's worth more money than they have, is bad on gas mileage, and only has two doors and two seats with a little storage.

I'm not saying you have to change who you are, but it's not always such a bad thing to present yourself a little differently. Don't be someone you're not, but accent the things about you that make you more of the sexy pick.

[Bull]

I am a jock, but I am not a jerk. Like you, I am a virgin. And I plan to stay that way! I get where you are coming from. I have dated girls who are aggressive and that is not my style. I have more fun with girls who enjoy being treated like a lady more than those who want to unzip my jeans.

[indoxyl]

I am confused as to why some girls choose to date jocks and jerks and get mad at them when they end up becoming heart broken. They should have dated a nice guy, a dork who would respect them and not abuse them. I am not saying all girls are like this, but the girls that are drive me crazy. It does not make any sense because nice guys are waiting to date the girl of their dreams, but she would rather be hurt by a jerk than date a dork.

For example, I have a job, I go to school, and I do not do any drugs. I dress nice, and have good manners. The guy my ex cheated on me with is not employed, does not go to school, and smokes/ drinks alcohol.

I would consider that a down-grade rather than an upgrade. I know in my heart I did nothing wrong. I opened doors for her, told her she was pretty all the time, and did not abuse her. This new guy is controlling, taking her phone away to see her texts and go into her social network accounts. That is bad. The other thing is that she wanted to make love to me, but I said no because I wanted to be a virgin.

I am confused. If she left me just because I did not sleep with her, then she is filthy and trashy. If she left me for other reasons, then I would like to know what they were. There is no way she will be able to make a living with a loser like him. Why do girls chose the bad, dirty, rebellious guys? Why do they choose unsuccessful and unhealthy people?

Oh god people with this kind of mind set piss me off so much.

Just because you're nice and don't do drugs or drink alcohol does not mean that you are entitled to date the girl that you want. Girls can go out with whoever they want. If they end up getting hurt because of it that's their own problem and not yours.

I admire you for looking out for your ex because the guy she's with does not seem to treat her well but that is her own issue.

Wanting to make love does not make a girl "filthy and trashy." Intimacy is a very important part of a relationship and obviously if you will not give her the intimacy she needs she is going to find it some where else.

There is clearly something she sees in him that she did not see in you. Your best bet is to move on and not concern yourself what she is doing with her own life.

[Rallo]

Fozzey & VanC - Boy Meets Girl.
This song pretty much sums things up..

'Nice guys finish last'.

I'm in exactly the same situation right now, I was with a girl for 16months, gave her anything she wanted and did everything for her. If she needed me at 4am, she could call and I was there, no questions. I would be there for her 100%. She was jealous of me talking to another girl? I'd avoid contact with them for her. She missed me when I was busy? I'd make excuses so I could talk to her instead of whatever I was doing.. Little things like that. She ended it and got with some asshole who hardly talks to her now. They got together and things were fine the first day, the second day they talked for maybe 30minutes on the phone.. After that things were unfair for her, he often ignores her to talk to other girls for hours at a time. Ignored her for a few hours while flirting with her best friend once, even continued after she messaged him going off at him for it.. He only stopped once she replied to a message on her friends phone; her friend was right next to her.

I mean, going from having everything given to you, from someone who was there for you every moment of the day to someone who makes you feel like other girls are more important than you, who makes her feel like she's not beautiful and like she's not that much to him.. The odd part, she loves it. She's fallen for him so hard, that's something I'll never understand; how can anyone fall for someone who gives them nothing over someone who gave them everything they wanted?

[unknownuser]

You're not doing anything wrong, imo. That's good for you that you're responsible and care about being all nice and proper.

I can't speak for all girls, but some love the fun and outgoing types of guys; they find them intriguing. This girl that was with you just seems impatient and a little immature if she just left you for a guy like that. It's good to be mature and responsible, but if you're always super serious and wound up, I see how someone could potentially get a little bored and want more... it's ok to have some fun and let loose, just keep it classy and don't go overboard. Continue living by your morals and being youself, you'll find someone mature and on your page that'll appreciate that in you. Don't waste your time on people that don't appreciate and respect you.

[ChrisTJ]

Yeah I don't understand it either. I think a lot of girls are just programmed to like the jocks and 'bad boys' more than the good boys. I think we feel that the jocks will be more fun and interesting in a relationship than a sweet nice guy...then he ends up cheating. I think though as girls get older they start going for the nicer guys.

[indoxyl]

Yeah I don't understand it either. I think a lot of girls are just programmed to like the jocks and 'bad boys' more than the good boys. I think we feel that the jocks will be more fun and interesting in a relationship than a sweet nice guy...then he ends up cheating. I think though as girls get older they start going for the nicer guys.

It has nothing to do with if you're a "jock" or if you're a "nice guy"
just because you're a nice guy does not mean you're more entitled to date someone than the guy you think is a jerk.

[ChrisTJ]

It has nothing to do with if you're a "jock" or if you're a "nice guy"
just because you're a nice guy does not mean you're more entitled to date someone than the guy you think is a jerk.

Oh I know that people shouldn't feel any sort of entitlement to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend. Indeed some of the nice looking guys in my school feel that if they show any interest in a girl the girl should instantly fall in love with him and want to be with him forever and a day. Totally not cool. Then agin it's also fair enough to be a little bummed out that you are being overlooked in favor of people you feel are jerks and going to use girls, that's not the same as feeling entitlement in my opinion.

[JustAGamer]

Those are teen girls in a nutshell. They don't want a boring usual guy. They are stupid. I'm not saying this from experience. It's just a fact. So the answer to your question Is that that they want someone "cool". And because drinking, smoking and doing drugs is "cool", girls (not all) consider those guys "cool". I'm not saying "Go do drugs!", I'm saying that you should find a proper girl. The girl you dated seemeds pretty stupid, from my point of view.

[indoxyl]

Those are teen girls in a nutshell. They don't want a boring usual guy. They are stupid. I'm not saying this from experience. It's just a fact. So the answer to your question Is that that they want someone "cool". And because drinking, smoking and doing drugs is "cool", girls (not all) consider those guys "cool". I'm not saying "Go do drugs!", I'm saying that you should find a proper girl. The girl you dated seemeds pretty stupid, from my point of view.

If you have not had experience with those kinds of girls you cannot state that it's a 100% fact.

Why are girls considered "improper" if they like to do those (highly illegal) recreational activities?
They could be smart and amazing girls for all you know. Which then leads me to my first statement.

[ViolinPro]

Life is very diverse, girls and guys like different kinds of people.
I see times when nice girls like nice guys, bad guys with the bad girls
and then the famous bad boy, nice girl pair and bad girl, nice guy.
People often want qualities which they don't find in themselves so they fall in love with a person that has them. Most of these are young people who don't know themselves well enough yet.
Funny, I've always liked nice guys since I was a little thing in elementary. I've never liked jocks. I did fall in love with a jerk though, but he turned out to be a jerk only in the end, and I fell out of love eventually.

What I find the most important thing is this. When you love yourself, respect yourself and know yourself inside and out, the bad stuff, the good stuff and what you want in life, you become the bad-ass, the super cool person and you just know you are ****ing awesome. People feel this rock solid confidence, they really do. And no matter if you are a girl or a guy, it is THE key to being strong and badum-tish you find more people who are on the same wavelength as you. It doesn't mean becoming a piece of shit, only self-loving narcissist, it means to respect yourself and know your worth.

Also, just know the golden middle, be nice, but be bad too ;) show yourself in different colors and people will never know what to expect of you. Human psychology yo))

[Jean Poutine]

Oh great, the nice guy syndrome again.

See, you like to think you're this amazing, awesome nice guy who any girl would want. You are so nice, polite, chivalrous and self-effacing, right? Obviously you think you did nothing wrong and the other guy is a deadbeat, and it's her fault she's so retarded and short-sighted that she left an incredible catch like you for some other dummy hack you've probably never talked more than 10 minutes to or even met, presumably because you wouldn't screw her, so she's a slut to boot.

That's not so nice a line of thinking there, is it? Nice guys think like this? Gee, you even say you respect her!

He's unemployed and does not go to school, or so you say anyway. The smartest man I've ever met was a hobo. I still account for the 4 hours long conversation we had in my thinking. He smokes and drinks alcohol. Gasp! I smoke like a chimney, both cannabis and tobacco. It didn't keep me from getting a LL.B., going up to a LL.M., getting a transitory job that pays a good amount of dough and landing a beautiful, smart, hardworking, independent woman who, by the way, smokes a joint with me once in a while, because that's what a real woman is like : she knows when to keep her hair up and when to get it down, she knows what she needs and she goes and gets it, and she doesn't need me to be there like a manservant to live her life. He's controlling her? Well believe it or not, some people actually prefer that kind of thing because it secures them, even though it's unhealthy in the long run.

Have you ever considered he could bring her things that you couldn't? Confidence, direction, a sense of adventure, whatever? Of course not because you're like a thousand times better than he is and anything he does, you can do better.

Just by this post, you come off like an insecure, passive-aggressive boy with low confidence, making up for it by blaming others. Plus, you sound like a snore. It being true or not is none of my concern because that's how you seemingly choose to present ourselves to us, so I have to make do with the data I have. In any case, I suppose you can see now that these are incredibly turn-off traits, especially for a teenaged girl. She just needed something else in her life than what you could provide at this exact moment. It doesn't make her dumb or a whore.

So stop being a "nice guy". Nobody likes "nice guys". They are carpets you can wipe off your feet on. They try so hard to be liked that it just comes off as submissiveness and quite a bit phony to boot. Grow up and be a man already, go meet some other girl who'll be a better fit for you instead of groveling on a forum because your stupid slut of an ex left you for a functionally retarded guy who's probably on the dole. Work on your shortcomings, don't be so nice, be fair instead : be nice when it fits, be tough and take charge when it doesn't. My girlfriend and I split everything 50/50 : I take her out, she takes me out next time. If we buy something that will be used by both of us, we each pay half. When we go shopping, we each carry half of the bags. We each do half the chores. Sometimes I buy her things out of the blue as a gift, but I expect the very same from her.

That's because we're equal partners in an equal relationship, and I'm a just man and she's a just woman. I used to be in the whole gentleman thing too but times have changed, what used to be construed as well-mannered is demeaning now : I mean she must be able to do things like open doors without my help. I don't open doors for her on the regular, but if she's somewhat encumbered and would want me to, I'll do it even if I'm just as burdened or more as her. Rarely I'll do it out of the blue. It makes it all the sweeter because she doesn't expect it. Rote movements that you do just for the sake of being "polite" lose their meaning. Likewise, you say you told her she was pretty all the time, but after the 10000th time, what does it even mean anymore to her? That's being a man 101 : keep her guessing.

Maybe if you become a man, you can meet a woman, not a girl.

She's fallen for him so hard, that's something I'll never understand; how can anyone fall for someone who gives them nothing over someone who gave them everything they wanted?

Let me break it down in very few words for you. You are easy, the other guy isn't. She acquired you a long time ago and she's bored of you. The other guy makes her work for his attention which makes her crave it all the more because it's such a rare thing from him, and not from you. She kind of went from an extreme to another in this case it seems like, but the criticism is still valid. I've observed that girls who date stereotypical nice guys often date a stereotypical jerk right after. A breath of fresh air, maybe? Some kind of a relationship homeostasis?

See, this is the mindset I'm talking about. It's a loser's mindset. Guys somehow think they know what a girl wants and endeavor to get her everything they think they want, but they don't want endless compliments or having doors held for them or someone who would wreck any of their own plans to help them. They, no, everybody wants somebody whose life is not dictated by the person they are with. Nobody wants yes-men or butlers. People who bend over backwards are predictable and boring and furthermore, lack their own identity. They are so preoccupied with trying to please others that they forget about themselves and their own happiness. If their endless quest for acceptance brings them happiness, it's even worse. Well-adjusted people want people who won't attempt to vicariously live their lives through them and their perceived needs. They want partners, not slaves. People have to feel like they have to put effort of their own in a relationship else it's just not rewarding. Nobody can be as proud of a mail-in degree as they would be of an actual degree they worked to earn. Basically you have to be right in the middle of the nice/jerk spectrum, meaning you have to be fair.

And don't flame - it's called tough love. I'm verbally kicking your ass because I was like you once and if I had received that kick in the ass earlier, it would have saved me an incredible amount of grief. In a while you'll see what I meant with this post.

[ZephirahXx]

They do it because they care what people think of them and are trying to follow social caste.

[indoxyl]

Oh great, the nice guy syndrome again.

See, you like to think you're this amazing, awesome nice guy who any girl would want. You are so nice, polite, chivalrous and self-effacing, right? Obviously you think you did nothing wrong and the other guy is a deadbeat, and it's her fault she's so retarded and short-sighted that she left an incredible catch like you for some other dummy hack you've probably never talked more than 10 minutes to or even met, presumably because you wouldn't screw her, so she's a slut to boot.

That's not so nice a line of thinking there, is it? Nice guys think like this? Gee, you even say you respect her!

He's unemployed and does not go to school, or so you say anyway. The smartest man I've ever met was a hobo. I still account for the 4 hours long conversation we had in my thinking. He smokes and drinks alcohol. Gasp! I smoke like a chimney, both cannabis and tobacco. It didn't keep me from getting a LL.B., going up to a LL.M., getting a transitory job that pays a good amount of dough and landing a beautiful, smart, hardworking, independent woman who, by the way, smokes a joint with me once in a while, because that's what a real woman is like : she knows when to keep her hair up and when to get it down, she knows what she needs and she goes and gets it, and she doesn't need me to be there like a manservant to live her life. He's controlling her? Well believe it or not, some people actually prefer that kind of thing because it secures them, even though it's unhealthy in the long run.

Have you ever considered he could bring her things that you couldn't? Confidence, direction, a sense of adventure, whatever? Of course not because you're like a thousand times better than he is and anything he does, you can do better.

Just by this post, you come off like an insecure, passive-aggressive boy with low confidence, making up for it by blaming others. Plus, you sound like a snore. It being true or not is none of my concern because that's how you seemingly choose to present ourselves to us, so I have to make do with the data I have. In any case, I suppose you can see now that these are incredibly turn-off traits, especially for a teenaged girl. She just needed something else in her life than what you could provide at this exact moment. It doesn't make her dumb or a whore.

So stop being a "nice guy". Nobody likes "nice guys". They are carpets you can wipe off your feet on. They try so hard to be liked that it just comes off as submissiveness and quite a bit phony to boot. Grow up and be a man already, go meet some other girl who'll be a better fit for you instead of groveling on a forum because your stupid slut of an ex left you for a functionally retarded guy who's probably on the dole. Work on your shortcomings, don't be so nice, be fair instead : be nice when it fits, be tough and take charge when it doesn't. My girlfriend and I split everything 50/50 : I take her out, she takes me out next time. If we buy something that will be used by both of us, we each pay half. When we go shopping, we each carry half of the bags. We each do half the chores. Sometimes I buy her things out of the blue as a gift, but I expect the very same from her.

That's because we're equal partners in an equal relationship, and I'm a just man and she's a just woman. I used to be in the whole gentleman thing too but times have changed, what used to be construed as well-mannered is demeaning now : I mean she must be able to do things like open doors without my help. I don't open doors for her on the regular, but if she's somewhat encumbered and would want me to, I'll do it even if I'm just as burdened or more as her. Rarely I'll do it out of the blue. It makes it all the sweeter because she doesn't expect it. Rote movements that you do just for the sake of being "polite" lose their meaning. Likewise, you say you told her she was pretty all the time, but after the 10000th time, what does it even mean anymore to her? That's being a man 101 : keep her guessing.

Maybe if you become a man, you can meet a woman, not a girl.



Let me break it down in very few words for you. You are easy, the other guy isn't. She acquired you a long time ago and she's bored of you. The other guy makes her work for his attention which makes her crave it all the more because it's such a rare thing from him, and not from you. She kind of went from an extreme to another in this case it seems like, but the criticism is still valid. I've observed that girls who date stereotypical nice guys often date a stereotypical jerk right after. A breath of fresh air, maybe? Some kind of a relationship homeostasis?

See, this is the mindset I'm talking about. It's a loser's mindset. Guys somehow think they know what a girl wants and endeavor to get her everything they think they want, but they don't want endless compliments or having doors held for them or someone who would wreck any of their own plans to help them. They, no, everybody wants somebody whose life is not dictated by the person they are with. Nobody wants yes-men or butlers. People who bend over backwards are predictable and boring and furthermore, lack their own identity. They are so preoccupied with trying to please others that they forget about themselves and their own happiness. If their endless quest for acceptance brings them happiness, it's even worse. Well-adjusted people want people who won't attempt to vicariously live their lives through them and their perceived needs. They want partners, not slaves. People have to feel like they have to put effort of their own in a relationship else it's just not rewarding. Nobody can be as proud of a mail-in degree as they would be of an actual degree they worked to earn. Basically you have to be right in the middle of the nice/jerk spectrum, meaning you have to be fair.

And don't flame - it's called tough love. I'm verbally kicking your ass because I was like you once and if I had received that kick in the ass earlier, it would have saved me an incredible amount of grief. In a while you'll see what I meant with this post.

This is the greatest advice I have ever heard anyone give on this ridiculous website and I swear to god if a mod deletes this post because it was rude or sounded "attacky" I will have a literal fit because this is the kind of truth kids need to be exposed to today

[CharlieHorse]

It has nothing to do with if you're a "jock" or if you're a "nice guy"
just because you're a nice guy does not mean you're more entitled to date someone than the guy you think is a jerk.

Somehow you've brought the concept of entitlement into this when it really isn't present. Nowhere in his writing does he say he feels like he deserves her more than the other guy does. He might imply that he may be a better choice for her in his mind, but by being general, he avoids the implication on himself, as there are definitely other cases similar to his. Therefore we can't assume he is only thinking about himself, and rather, anyone in such a situation. If anything, he's concerned about her well being, even after she cheated on him. I see the OP asking a purely curious question as to why some girls attracted to the type of guy that is considered a "jock" or "lowlife", however bland or ignorant the question may be.

Sure, I agree that nobody is entitled to someone else, and I also agree that it was judgmental to call her trashy for going for this other guy.

I do have to agree with the OP for wanting to have an explanation from her as to why she left him. Of course, it's not her responsibility to do so; it's her choice to tell him or not, but I feel as if it would make the OP see things in a better light, and understand the aspects of it, rather than assume and pass uneducated judgement.

Oh great, the nice guy syndrome again.

See, you like to think you're this amazing, awesome nice guy who any girl would want. You are so nice, polite, chivalrous and self-effacing, right? Obviously you think you did nothing wrong and the other guy is a deadbeat, and it's her fault she's so retarded and short-sighted that she left an incredible catch like you for some other dummy hack you've probably never talked more than 10 minutes to or even met, presumably because you wouldn't screw her, so she's a slut to boot.

That's not so nice a line of thinking there, is it? Nice guys think like this? Gee, you even say you respect her!

He's unemployed and does not go to school, or so you say anyway. The smartest man I've ever met was a hobo. I still account for the 4 hours long conversation we had in my thinking. He smokes and drinks alcohol. Gasp! I smoke like a chimney, both cannabis and tobacco. It didn't keep me from getting a LL.B., going up to a LL.M., getting a transitory job that pays a good amount of dough and landing a beautiful, smart, hardworking, independent woman who, by the way, smokes a joint with me once in a while, because that's what a real woman is like : she knows when to keep her hair up and when to get it down, she knows what she needs and she goes and gets it, and she doesn't need me to be there like a manservant to live her life. He's controlling her? Well believe it or not, some people actually prefer that kind of thing because it secures them, even though it's unhealthy in the long run.

Have you ever considered he could bring her things that you couldn't? Confidence, direction, a sense of adventure, whatever? Of course not because you're like a thousand times better than he is and anything he does, you can do better.

Just by this post, you come off like an insecure, passive-aggressive boy with low confidence, making up for it by blaming others. Plus, you sound like a snore. It being true or not is none of my concern because that's how you seemingly choose to present ourselves to us, so I have to make do with the data I have. In any case, I suppose you can see now that these are incredibly turn-off traits, especially for a teenaged girl. She just needed something else in her life than what you could provide at this exact moment. It doesn't make her dumb or a whore.

So stop being a "nice guy". Nobody likes "nice guys". They are carpets you can wipe off your feet on. They try so hard to be liked that it just comes off as submissiveness and quite a bit phony to boot. Grow up and be a man already, go meet some other girl who'll be a better fit for you instead of groveling on a forum because your stupid slut of an ex left you for a functionally retarded guy who's probably on the dole. Work on your shortcomings, don't be so nice, be fair instead : be nice when it fits, be tough and take charge when it doesn't. My girlfriend and I split everything 50/50 : I take her out, she takes me out next time. If we buy something that will be used by both of us, we each pay half. When we go shopping, we each carry half of the bags. We each do half the chores. Sometimes I buy her things out of the blue as a gift, but I expect the very same from her.

That's because we're equal partners in an equal relationship, and I'm a just man and she's a just woman. I used to be in the whole gentleman thing too but times have changed, what used to be construed as well-mannered is demeaning now : I mean she must be able to do things like open doors without my help. I don't open doors for her on the regular, but if she's somewhat encumbered and would want me to, I'll do it even if I'm just as burdened or more as her. Rarely I'll do it out of the blue. It makes it all the sweeter because she doesn't expect it. Rote movements that you do just for the sake of being "polite" lose their meaning. Likewise, you say you told her she was pretty all the time, but after the 10000th time, what does it even mean anymore to her? That's being a man 101 : keep her guessing.

Maybe if you become a man, you can meet a woman, not a girl.



Let me break it down in very few words for you. You are easy, the other guy isn't. She acquired you a long time ago and she's bored of you. The other guy makes her work for his attention which makes her crave it all the more because it's such a rare thing from him, and not from you. She kind of went from an extreme to another in this case it seems like, but the criticism is still valid. I've observed that girls who date stereotypical nice guys often date a stereotypical jerk right after. A breath of fresh air, maybe? Some kind of a relationship homeostasis?

See, this is the mindset I'm talking about. It's a loser's mindset. Guys somehow think they know what a girl wants and endeavor to get her everything they think they want, but they don't want endless compliments or having doors held for them or someone who would wreck any of their own plans to help them. They, no, everybody wants somebody whose life is not dictated by the person they are with. Nobody wants yes-men or butlers. People who bend over backwards are predictable and boring and furthermore, lack their own identity. They are so preoccupied with trying to please others that they forget about themselves and their own happiness. If their endless quest for acceptance brings them happiness, it's even worse. Well-adjusted people want people who won't attempt to vicariously live their lives through them and their perceived needs. They want partners, not slaves. People have to feel like they have to put effort of their own in a relationship else it's just not rewarding. Nobody can be as proud of a mail-in degree as they would be of an actual degree they worked to earn. Basically you have to be right in the middle of the nice/jerk spectrum, meaning you have to be fair.

And don't flame - it's called tough love. I'm verbally kicking your ass because I was like you once and if I had received that kick in the ass earlier, it would have saved me an incredible amount of grief. In a while you'll see what I meant with this post.

Thank you for taking the time to explain this. With that, I think we could close the thread already! XD I disagree with some little things you said, but overall, I agree with the general idea.

[Vlerchan]

I'm posting outside ROTW a moment to add that Jeane's post should be stickied or something.

It's just spot-on the whole way down.

[Rallo]

Oh god people with this kind of mind set piss me off so much.

Just because you're nice and don't do drugs or drink alcohol does not mean that you are entitled to date the girl that you want. Girls can go out with whoever they want. If they end up getting hurt because of it that's their own problem and not yours.

I admire you for looking out for your ex because the guy she's with does not seem to treat her well but that is her own issue.

I feel as if you missed the whole confusion and point of this thread in the first place..

it's the million dollar question, why?
It's no secret girls are free to chose who they want and they evidentally do, the question here is simply why? What is it about people like that women find so attractive?
Why is it anyone would prefer a jobless druggo over someone who has their life on track and is making something of themselves?
Like you said, everyone's entitled to date who they want to; you don't force yourself to date someone simply because they treat you nicely. The question still remains though, how in the hell could anyone fall for someone like that over someone who has their life on track and treats them well?


Wanting to make love does not make a girl "filthy and trashy." Intimacy is a very important part of a relationship and obviously if you will not give her the intimacy she needs she is going to find it some where else.
As OP said, if she left simply because of that sole reason alone, that does some what make a statement about her. Now I'm not saying this is the case as I don't know, though like OP said, if that is truly the case, then it does some what label her that way.




There is clearly something she sees in him that she did not see in you. Your best bet is to move on and not concern yourself what she is doing with her own life.
The first part I can't agree with here, It's plain ignorance to assume she must see something in him simply because of the fact they're dating. Maybe you were asleep through your highschool years, maybe it was different for you or maybe you just completely didn't take note of it, though that's not how things work for a girl of that age. It's all popularity and bullshit like that. I've even asked a few girls at highschool about this subject, many don't even see themselves even talking to the guys they're currently dating in a year from now.

The second part is decent advice, the best thing that can be done in a situation like OPs is simply to move on and stop worrying about what she's doing. You're no longer with her; it's not your job to care if some guy's going to hurt her, it's no longer your job to do everything for her and make sure she's happy. Save it all for someone else.