Ecxel
July 12th, 2014, 09:28 PM
This is kind of relevant to sexuality, so yeah.
Hi, again I've not used this in months but I seem to keep coming back when I need advice or I'm stuck with what to do.
The last time I used this I was posting about feelings I had for a friend and thinking it could go somewhere, well it didn't and I got over that pretty quickly because another guy came into my life.
I should probably start from the beginning, I was friends with this girl for a while but she was really attention seeking, lying about things like miscarriage and suicide but I still spoke to her and we were close friends because I didn't like to judge. She introduced me to her boyfriend last Summer, they had been together for a couple of months and he seemed like a really nice guy, ngl I found him pretty attractive too. Towards the end of the summer he randomly messaged me asking if I wanted to go camping with him, my friend and some people he knew, I had to decline the offer as I was busy and couldn't get to the site.
I met up with him and my friend (his girlfriend) a few times but didn't really speak to him much until November at a gig that a load of our friends were at. He was being really close, cuddling me and sitting on my knee, stuff like that but I thought nothing of it. That night, some people were drunk and a random guy was seeing if he could kiss more people than his friend, this led to everyone kissing, not properly but like a half-second peck, which me and him shared, again, I thought nothing of it.
There was another gig later in November and out group of friends attended it once again, and again, he was being cuddly and a little flirty but I put it down to alcohol. At one point in the night he was stumbling about and held my hand to walk, he was clearly drunk and asked me if I liked guys, I said I didn't know because at the time I really wasn't sure. Later on that night, a mutual friend of ours who "shipped" us because my best friend was his girlfriend jokingly shouted "FRENCH KISS" when we hugged goodbye, he said "might as well" and I nodded so we kissed, he tried to get his tongue in straight away but my mouth was closed, I opened my mouth slightly and then we both pulled away, we laughed, everyone there laughed, his girlfriend laughed, then we hugged and everyone went home.
After that, out conversations went from a message every now and then to messages 24/7 and after a few days we were talking with hearts, winks and kisses after every message, but I still didn't think anything of it because a lot of people do that sort of stuff. Our chats got flirty after not too long, talking about how when we kissed he had a blue tongue (weird sweets) and that I should get red sweets and we should make purple, but I still thought he was being fun and jokey about it and that is wasn't much.
His girlfriend and I weren't as close as we had been as she was getting attention seeking as she always had been, but she starts pointing out that I spoke to her boyfriend more than her, and we'd laugh about it. One conversation I had with her was about how she was pansexual and she had been for a whole which she'd already told me, she then said "It must have rubbed off on him" meaning her boyfriend. She then went on to tell me that her boyfriend had come out to her as bisexual and coincidentally it was when she last stayed at his which was the night after the gig, the night we kissed.
Me and her boyfriend were talking, I was now noticing that he actually was flirting and after a while (like January) he told me he liked me, and had feelings for me. He said that when he first kissed me and it was a peck he knew he liked me, and when we kissed again he was sure of it but didn't know what to do, by this point I'd started to really like him and we were joking about how I should get another kiss to confirm what I was feeling too. We could have met up that week but I was ill so we couldn't, so we decided that because we were busy (he went to a different school, couldn't get to me I couldn't get to him) that when we were next free, his mum would pick me up and I could stay at his. Him and I got really close, in a kind of relationship I guess, we were talking every day, I'd wake up to messages most mornings and stuff, he told me he loved me, I said it back and that weekend I was meant to stay at his.
That week, his girlfriend was feeling down and pretty much invited herself to stay at his so I couldn't go which delayed us meeting up for another week. In this week we spoke about how he infact didn't really like her, and felt obliged to go out with her because he felt sorry for her, and was worried that she would try to kill herself if he dumped her (yeah, she was actually that kind of person).
The day came when I was to stay at his, he was being all cute and sweet, and she I got there I met his family, all of which were thrilled to meet his new best-friend that he had been laming about non-stop for months. As he lived on a farm the family were busy with animals and things and I ended up helping with the chickens and cooking and things like that. He shared a room with his brother who was a year older than us both and they had bunk beds. His brother normally slept on the lower bunk but they had agreed that they would swap so that me and him could share the bottom bunk instead.
The first time we were alone was when we were sat on his bed whilst his mum finished off dinner, we both leant in and kissed, long and slow just like in the movies and it was perfect. He had literally said that he would kiss me "just like in the movies" and he was true to his word. For the rest of the evening, every chance we had we were kissing. After dinner and desert we watched tv with the family until everyone went to bed, including us, we were watching a film with his brother, whilst kissing just beneath him which is kinda weird I guess, when the film finished his brother was asleep pretty much instantly and we were left kissing and cuddling, it was really nice and I couldn't have been happier. Things got heated, we were rubbing eachother through our onesies and he was lying on me. He said "I want to do stuff, but, I'm worried I'll feel bad because I'm with [girlfriend]" so I told him that I was happy to just kiss and cuddle until we fell asleep, but he said he didn't care about her, and he liked me a lot so some stuff happened, nothing serious, just hands but yeah I won't go I to detail. We cleaned up and went to the kitchen to get drinks, he said he was glad something happened and that we'd have more fun in the morning.
We went back to bed and were asleep in minutes, curled up together. We woke up, kissed, and the second I sat up I had a massive headache and just lay back down whining. So that kind of prevented anything else happening but meant he got to be all cute and caring all morning which was brilliant. That day we were busy with his family again, we kissed a few times, he went for a shower and we kissed then, there was just a lot of kissing. That afternoon before lunch we were in his room watching a movie, things were getting heated again and his brother came in, we moved apart and his brother jokingly said "Did I interrupt a moment lol" and we laughed it off.
I was leaving that evening and just before I had to go we were in his room talking, we kissed goodbye and I pulled away, he then grabbed me and kissed me deeply and said that it was incase we didn't get to see eachother for a while. I went home and the next day we were talking again just like before, we spoke about how we would both have done more with eachother and stuff like that. My birthday was two weeks later and I was having a party which would have been the next time we met up, he was going to come to mine ages before everyone else so we had some time alone, the day before he came down with the flu and couldn't come, his mum called me to apologise for not letting him come but it was best that he stayed at home until he was better.
His girlfriend and him were arguing a lot about how she thought he was flirting with girls etc etc and me and him started talking less and less. I was in town with some friends and bumped into them, he spoke to me a little but ignored me otherwise, when we spoke online next I confronted him, he said that his girlfriend was in a bad place and even though he didn't like her, he had to be there for her, he said "I made myself stop liking you" and that it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and he hated to give me up. We spoke and he said I managed to make him cry, he said he didn't want to lose me but I did what I thought was best for me and told him we should stop talking, he was upset but agreed to leave me alone and I agreed the same.
A few weeks went by and me and my friends (also friends of his) were planning a camping trip an as I was the only one who could plan things it fell on me, this meant I had to message him to tell him about it because at the end of the day he was still a friend of a lot of my friends, this led to us talking a little bit in the lead up to camping.
The trip arrived and we were all in a field with tents, someone bought a large tent with 3 rooms, I had my own little room in it because I hadn't bought a tent, everyone was allocated a tent and people out bags away and started drinking. I don't drink so I was just talking to people and seeing him there got me really upset because I missed him, he noticed this clearly and came over to talk to me, he more or less forcibly hugged me and we just stood there for ages hugging and talking, he missed me but he didn't know what he wanted, we went back to the group and everyone continued as they were. The guy that he was meant to share with ended up hooking up with a girl and as I was the only one with my own tent, he ended up sharing with me, we talked, nothing happened but we cuddled most of the night, I couldn't sleep because people were being noisy so I lay awake but I was weirdly happy just to be close to him again.
The next morning everyone was awake early to pack up and we walked down to a park where some people were being picked up, we all lay on the grass and when people who were getting picked up had left we all walked down to were most of us lived. Everyone went to someone's house and me, a friend and him walked to a shop to get chocolate and also so that he could her picked up, when he did he hugged our friend, the hugged me, tighter and for much longer, told me goodbye then left, my friend jokingly said "How come you get a longer hug, are you some weird secret couple" and I laughed it off and went about my day.
A little while later, me and him were talking but not flirting or anything, just being friends, and his girlfriend (still my friend) message me saying that he had told her that we kissed when I stayed at his. Turns out that he had started to feel bad for cheating and told her we kissed once and that there was alcohol involved, she didn't seem to care and found it funny that we kissed. She said she wasn't shocked because he'd had a crush on me "since he first met you last summer" which completely threw me, he had liked me when he first met me months before he told me, she also said that I was the first guy he ever thought about and that I "turned him" as it was put.
I fell out with her massively for other reasons, after not liking her much for months mainly because of her lying and how she treated people, I was still friends with her boyfriend though but we were talking less and less again.
I was in school and my best friend came up to me and said "Did [girls] boyfriend and you toss eachother off? She just told me and [person] that he said you did?!" and I didn't know what the hell to do. Luckily I managed to pin it all on her, she had tried spreading rumours before and thank god people hated her more than they hated me. My close friends (like 5 people) knew about me and him but not that we had done anything so I ended up telling them, his girlfriend also told some people and eventually I told out friend group (the people we went to gigs with) and all hell broke loose.
For some miraculous reason almost everyone sided with me, and hated her for somehow being a massive b!tch and the friend group broke apart slightly. By this point I had stopped talking to him again and people weren't mentioning it.
A week or so later me and some friends were going to a fair and he turned up with them, but for their sake I was acting happy and okay an not at all depressed and me and him ended up laughing about and being friendly which made me happy ngl, his girlfriend then turned up and was acting like I was still her friend. I decided I'd had enough of the rollercoaster he had me on and told him never to speak to me again and not to turn up anywhere and not to even so much as think of me. For about a week I was fine but then I couldn't stop thinking about him, I still liked him and I couldn't cope. I went 3 months but eventually gave in to all the sh!t I was feeling and messaged him, he was so happy to hear from me and missed me, saying it was hard to have to get by without me and stuff like that, we arranged to meet up a week later, with one of our friends there too, it was nice, laughing and being friendly again, he kept looking at me and we were hugging and eventually out conversations online got back to winky faces and slightly flirtatious comments, I was having a party that weekend and invited him along with all our friends, all of which knew about the secret relationshipthing we had had and they made some jokes but we both laughed and everyone laughed and it was a good night.
Me and him hadn't had a one-to-one talk properly so we went and sat on my trampoline and talked about everything, he told me how much he cared for me and that he wasn't with his girlfriend anymore and didn't know what he wanted anymore, he said there was a chance we could be more than friends again, we talked about a lot of stuff and were both nearly in tears at points. He spent about 10 minutes trying to get me to believe that him and girlfriend had broken up for good (they constantly had week long break ups, with their longest breakup being 11 days when she found out he cheated with me) and eventually I believed him. We went back inside and kept talking most of the night, we ended up lying on my bed and we turned and found ourselves face to face, he said "I didn't plan on anything happening tonight, but if something did happen that I wouldn't stop it" so I went to kiss him but it was just a peck, I didn't want to get too attached incase it ended badly, we ended up spooning all night in a room with about 10 people in.
Within 2 days he was back with his girlfriend and she was staying at his, he tried to lie and say they weren't but everyone knew the truth, he apologise for lying and said he wouldn't again, but I didn't trust him, an rightly so because within a week they were sleeping together again and everyone knew it. He said that they were broken up, but they they slept together again and now he wasn't sure. His best friend who is also a good friend of mine told me that they weren't a happy couple and that he was just in it for the sex because he didn't like her. I believe that, I know he doesn't like her but it doesn't surprise me that he would use her.
I ignored this and kept talking to him as a friend, he's started flirting again and I'm flirting back. He's in London for a week so won't be talking to anyone (family time) and I've decided that now is when I decide that to do, part of me wants to kill him for throwing me aside when he felt guilty, but part of me loves him and just wants to be with him.
This is way longer that I thought it would be and I doubt anyone even read this, but I just want to know, what would you do? Thanks:/
Hi, again I've not used this in months but I seem to keep coming back when I need advice or I'm stuck with what to do.
The last time I used this I was posting about feelings I had for a friend and thinking it could go somewhere, well it didn't and I got over that pretty quickly because another guy came into my life.
I should probably start from the beginning, I was friends with this girl for a while but she was really attention seeking, lying about things like miscarriage and suicide but I still spoke to her and we were close friends because I didn't like to judge. She introduced me to her boyfriend last Summer, they had been together for a couple of months and he seemed like a really nice guy, ngl I found him pretty attractive too. Towards the end of the summer he randomly messaged me asking if I wanted to go camping with him, my friend and some people he knew, I had to decline the offer as I was busy and couldn't get to the site.
I met up with him and my friend (his girlfriend) a few times but didn't really speak to him much until November at a gig that a load of our friends were at. He was being really close, cuddling me and sitting on my knee, stuff like that but I thought nothing of it. That night, some people were drunk and a random guy was seeing if he could kiss more people than his friend, this led to everyone kissing, not properly but like a half-second peck, which me and him shared, again, I thought nothing of it.
There was another gig later in November and out group of friends attended it once again, and again, he was being cuddly and a little flirty but I put it down to alcohol. At one point in the night he was stumbling about and held my hand to walk, he was clearly drunk and asked me if I liked guys, I said I didn't know because at the time I really wasn't sure. Later on that night, a mutual friend of ours who "shipped" us because my best friend was his girlfriend jokingly shouted "FRENCH KISS" when we hugged goodbye, he said "might as well" and I nodded so we kissed, he tried to get his tongue in straight away but my mouth was closed, I opened my mouth slightly and then we both pulled away, we laughed, everyone there laughed, his girlfriend laughed, then we hugged and everyone went home.
After that, out conversations went from a message every now and then to messages 24/7 and after a few days we were talking with hearts, winks and kisses after every message, but I still didn't think anything of it because a lot of people do that sort of stuff. Our chats got flirty after not too long, talking about how when we kissed he had a blue tongue (weird sweets) and that I should get red sweets and we should make purple, but I still thought he was being fun and jokey about it and that is wasn't much.
His girlfriend and I weren't as close as we had been as she was getting attention seeking as she always had been, but she starts pointing out that I spoke to her boyfriend more than her, and we'd laugh about it. One conversation I had with her was about how she was pansexual and she had been for a whole which she'd already told me, she then said "It must have rubbed off on him" meaning her boyfriend. She then went on to tell me that her boyfriend had come out to her as bisexual and coincidentally it was when she last stayed at his which was the night after the gig, the night we kissed.
Me and her boyfriend were talking, I was now noticing that he actually was flirting and after a while (like January) he told me he liked me, and had feelings for me. He said that when he first kissed me and it was a peck he knew he liked me, and when we kissed again he was sure of it but didn't know what to do, by this point I'd started to really like him and we were joking about how I should get another kiss to confirm what I was feeling too. We could have met up that week but I was ill so we couldn't, so we decided that because we were busy (he went to a different school, couldn't get to me I couldn't get to him) that when we were next free, his mum would pick me up and I could stay at his. Him and I got really close, in a kind of relationship I guess, we were talking every day, I'd wake up to messages most mornings and stuff, he told me he loved me, I said it back and that weekend I was meant to stay at his.
That week, his girlfriend was feeling down and pretty much invited herself to stay at his so I couldn't go which delayed us meeting up for another week. In this week we spoke about how he infact didn't really like her, and felt obliged to go out with her because he felt sorry for her, and was worried that she would try to kill herself if he dumped her (yeah, she was actually that kind of person).
The day came when I was to stay at his, he was being all cute and sweet, and she I got there I met his family, all of which were thrilled to meet his new best-friend that he had been laming about non-stop for months. As he lived on a farm the family were busy with animals and things and I ended up helping with the chickens and cooking and things like that. He shared a room with his brother who was a year older than us both and they had bunk beds. His brother normally slept on the lower bunk but they had agreed that they would swap so that me and him could share the bottom bunk instead.
The first time we were alone was when we were sat on his bed whilst his mum finished off dinner, we both leant in and kissed, long and slow just like in the movies and it was perfect. He had literally said that he would kiss me "just like in the movies" and he was true to his word. For the rest of the evening, every chance we had we were kissing. After dinner and desert we watched tv with the family until everyone went to bed, including us, we were watching a film with his brother, whilst kissing just beneath him which is kinda weird I guess, when the film finished his brother was asleep pretty much instantly and we were left kissing and cuddling, it was really nice and I couldn't have been happier. Things got heated, we were rubbing eachother through our onesies and he was lying on me. He said "I want to do stuff, but, I'm worried I'll feel bad because I'm with [girlfriend]" so I told him that I was happy to just kiss and cuddle until we fell asleep, but he said he didn't care about her, and he liked me a lot so some stuff happened, nothing serious, just hands but yeah I won't go I to detail. We cleaned up and went to the kitchen to get drinks, he said he was glad something happened and that we'd have more fun in the morning.
We went back to bed and were asleep in minutes, curled up together. We woke up, kissed, and the second I sat up I had a massive headache and just lay back down whining. So that kind of prevented anything else happening but meant he got to be all cute and caring all morning which was brilliant. That day we were busy with his family again, we kissed a few times, he went for a shower and we kissed then, there was just a lot of kissing. That afternoon before lunch we were in his room watching a movie, things were getting heated again and his brother came in, we moved apart and his brother jokingly said "Did I interrupt a moment lol" and we laughed it off.
I was leaving that evening and just before I had to go we were in his room talking, we kissed goodbye and I pulled away, he then grabbed me and kissed me deeply and said that it was incase we didn't get to see eachother for a while. I went home and the next day we were talking again just like before, we spoke about how we would both have done more with eachother and stuff like that. My birthday was two weeks later and I was having a party which would have been the next time we met up, he was going to come to mine ages before everyone else so we had some time alone, the day before he came down with the flu and couldn't come, his mum called me to apologise for not letting him come but it was best that he stayed at home until he was better.
His girlfriend and him were arguing a lot about how she thought he was flirting with girls etc etc and me and him started talking less and less. I was in town with some friends and bumped into them, he spoke to me a little but ignored me otherwise, when we spoke online next I confronted him, he said that his girlfriend was in a bad place and even though he didn't like her, he had to be there for her, he said "I made myself stop liking you" and that it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and he hated to give me up. We spoke and he said I managed to make him cry, he said he didn't want to lose me but I did what I thought was best for me and told him we should stop talking, he was upset but agreed to leave me alone and I agreed the same.
A few weeks went by and me and my friends (also friends of his) were planning a camping trip an as I was the only one who could plan things it fell on me, this meant I had to message him to tell him about it because at the end of the day he was still a friend of a lot of my friends, this led to us talking a little bit in the lead up to camping.
The trip arrived and we were all in a field with tents, someone bought a large tent with 3 rooms, I had my own little room in it because I hadn't bought a tent, everyone was allocated a tent and people out bags away and started drinking. I don't drink so I was just talking to people and seeing him there got me really upset because I missed him, he noticed this clearly and came over to talk to me, he more or less forcibly hugged me and we just stood there for ages hugging and talking, he missed me but he didn't know what he wanted, we went back to the group and everyone continued as they were. The guy that he was meant to share with ended up hooking up with a girl and as I was the only one with my own tent, he ended up sharing with me, we talked, nothing happened but we cuddled most of the night, I couldn't sleep because people were being noisy so I lay awake but I was weirdly happy just to be close to him again.
The next morning everyone was awake early to pack up and we walked down to a park where some people were being picked up, we all lay on the grass and when people who were getting picked up had left we all walked down to were most of us lived. Everyone went to someone's house and me, a friend and him walked to a shop to get chocolate and also so that he could her picked up, when he did he hugged our friend, the hugged me, tighter and for much longer, told me goodbye then left, my friend jokingly said "How come you get a longer hug, are you some weird secret couple" and I laughed it off and went about my day.
A little while later, me and him were talking but not flirting or anything, just being friends, and his girlfriend (still my friend) message me saying that he had told her that we kissed when I stayed at his. Turns out that he had started to feel bad for cheating and told her we kissed once and that there was alcohol involved, she didn't seem to care and found it funny that we kissed. She said she wasn't shocked because he'd had a crush on me "since he first met you last summer" which completely threw me, he had liked me when he first met me months before he told me, she also said that I was the first guy he ever thought about and that I "turned him" as it was put.
I fell out with her massively for other reasons, after not liking her much for months mainly because of her lying and how she treated people, I was still friends with her boyfriend though but we were talking less and less again.
I was in school and my best friend came up to me and said "Did [girls] boyfriend and you toss eachother off? She just told me and [person] that he said you did?!" and I didn't know what the hell to do. Luckily I managed to pin it all on her, she had tried spreading rumours before and thank god people hated her more than they hated me. My close friends (like 5 people) knew about me and him but not that we had done anything so I ended up telling them, his girlfriend also told some people and eventually I told out friend group (the people we went to gigs with) and all hell broke loose.
For some miraculous reason almost everyone sided with me, and hated her for somehow being a massive b!tch and the friend group broke apart slightly. By this point I had stopped talking to him again and people weren't mentioning it.
A week or so later me and some friends were going to a fair and he turned up with them, but for their sake I was acting happy and okay an not at all depressed and me and him ended up laughing about and being friendly which made me happy ngl, his girlfriend then turned up and was acting like I was still her friend. I decided I'd had enough of the rollercoaster he had me on and told him never to speak to me again and not to turn up anywhere and not to even so much as think of me. For about a week I was fine but then I couldn't stop thinking about him, I still liked him and I couldn't cope. I went 3 months but eventually gave in to all the sh!t I was feeling and messaged him, he was so happy to hear from me and missed me, saying it was hard to have to get by without me and stuff like that, we arranged to meet up a week later, with one of our friends there too, it was nice, laughing and being friendly again, he kept looking at me and we were hugging and eventually out conversations online got back to winky faces and slightly flirtatious comments, I was having a party that weekend and invited him along with all our friends, all of which knew about the secret relationshipthing we had had and they made some jokes but we both laughed and everyone laughed and it was a good night.
Me and him hadn't had a one-to-one talk properly so we went and sat on my trampoline and talked about everything, he told me how much he cared for me and that he wasn't with his girlfriend anymore and didn't know what he wanted anymore, he said there was a chance we could be more than friends again, we talked about a lot of stuff and were both nearly in tears at points. He spent about 10 minutes trying to get me to believe that him and girlfriend had broken up for good (they constantly had week long break ups, with their longest breakup being 11 days when she found out he cheated with me) and eventually I believed him. We went back inside and kept talking most of the night, we ended up lying on my bed and we turned and found ourselves face to face, he said "I didn't plan on anything happening tonight, but if something did happen that I wouldn't stop it" so I went to kiss him but it was just a peck, I didn't want to get too attached incase it ended badly, we ended up spooning all night in a room with about 10 people in.
Within 2 days he was back with his girlfriend and she was staying at his, he tried to lie and say they weren't but everyone knew the truth, he apologise for lying and said he wouldn't again, but I didn't trust him, an rightly so because within a week they were sleeping together again and everyone knew it. He said that they were broken up, but they they slept together again and now he wasn't sure. His best friend who is also a good friend of mine told me that they weren't a happy couple and that he was just in it for the sex because he didn't like her. I believe that, I know he doesn't like her but it doesn't surprise me that he would use her.
I ignored this and kept talking to him as a friend, he's started flirting again and I'm flirting back. He's in London for a week so won't be talking to anyone (family time) and I've decided that now is when I decide that to do, part of me wants to kill him for throwing me aside when he felt guilty, but part of me loves him and just wants to be with him.
This is way longer that I thought it would be and I doubt anyone even read this, but I just want to know, what would you do? Thanks:/