Waiting till after getting married (mom)

[Curious.kid]

My mom says she expects me to have sex only after I get married. I know that's a long ways away. I know that's what being a good man would do but I think it will be really hard to wait. I want to be a good catholic and respect my parents but I already want to have sex. It's like my mom doesn't want me to have any fun with things like this. She says I can't have sex and also she hates when I masturbate. I think it's because Im the oldest and it's new to her and my dad. Please help me what should I tell her?

[trackstar15]

Well I'm sure she probably already knows you want to have sex. It's natural, especially for a teen boy. It may seem like she doesn't want you to have fun but she's just doing her job as a mother.I do think you should try to wait as long as possible, but then again we are human, and we have our urges.You should sit down and talk with her about how you feel towards sex. More than likely she will understand because she was also once a teen.

[Connormann]

Well, if all else fails, keep it a secret. My mom knows I have condoms, therefore she knows that I have sex. And all that she had to say was that she was glad I am smart enough to have and use them.

[ksdnfkfr]

Dude no parent likes the idea of their kid having sex and would rather they didn't until married. I mean just picture 100 parents being interviewed and them being asked "how anxious are you for your kid to have sex?".

[nklarke]

At what age did your mum get married?

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

Personally, I think the whole "save your virginity until marriage" idea is bullshit. However, on the other hand, losing your virginity should be at least kind of special with someone you're likely to talk to again.
Your mom is probably just trying to protect you from making a bad decision, because no parent wants to see their teen son or daughter having children.

[jelly3000]

I know it's hard, but I think at our age it's important to detach our parents expectations with our own. They might not like it - but we are no longer their little 5 year old that they still see us as.

It's a hard thing to do - but it might be worth starting to show your mother that you understand her ideas but do not agree with them. Making a claim to wait as long as possible (whatever that means) shows that you are willing to meet her half way.

Some people use religion through guilt, even when there are no explicit references in the bible (such as masturbation). There are other things which I can say about catholicism (protection such as condoms and the pill) but I'll digress.

[green white]

I think you must follow your mom. Because your mom have many experient about life. She have be teen and now she addult. She must more know about the dangerous sex before married.

[ugaboy]

I am not sure I will wait to have sex - with a girl, or if I even want to - have sex with one. Still too confused about the whole sexuality thing. But me and some friends have pledged to each other that we will not do it with a girl until we are 16 or older. I am sure my mom would want me to wait until marriage, if that were to ever happen.

[jessie3]

Your mom is just trying to be a good mother, she want's to protect you from having sex to early, but it's not really her choice, if you really think you are ready to have it then have it, but be careful on you do it with, make sure that person is the one for you.

[hockeyfan]

Although I don't normally recommend u lie I would have sex and not tell her. If she asks b honest.

[Jack russell dad]

I think you must follow your mom. Because your mom have many experient about life. She have be teen and now she addult. She must more know about the dangerous sex before married.

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! His mom was a female, and does not have a male sex drive and can control herself better. Have sex, wait until AFTER YOUR READY!!! Do not do it now, wait till your atleast 16. As for sex before marriage, i used to believe in only sex after marriage, but gays cant legally marry in all 50 so:/ sex is NOT dangerous before marriage IF YOU USE CONDOMS!!! Their made for a reason. And their is no set age to buy them. You dont have to wait till your married to have sex, and god WILL forgive you. Just be safe. And after 18 you can do ANYTHING you want because your a legal adult. If you are that desperate, 18 is your age(time flies:( )
anyhow, cheers!!!!:)

[green white]

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! His mom was a female, and does not have a male sex drive and can control herself better. Have sex, wait until AFTER YOUR READY!!! Do not do it now, wait till your atleast 16. As for sex before marriage, i used to believe in only sex after marriage, but gays cant legally marry in all 50 so:/ sex is NOT dangerous before marriage IF YOU USE CONDOMS!!! Their made for a reason. And their is no set age to buy them. You dont have to wait till your married to have sex, and god WILL forgive you. Just be safe. And after 18 you can do ANYTHING you want because your a legal adult. If you are that desperate, 18 is your age(time flies:( )
anyhow, cheers!!!!:)

I'm sorry. I forget, we live in different place. In my place, if you sex before married you like a whore. And if other people know about it, you and your big family definite shy.

[Jack russell dad]

ahhh. my apologies

[Jack russell dad]

I'm sorry. I forget, we live in different place. In my place, if you sex before married you like a whore. And if other people know about it, you and your big family definite shy.

My apologies. Im sorry to jump the gun.

[Bull]

I am a 17 yo virgin and plan to stay that way. I am no prude, I enjoy being sexy and have done hj and bj with male and female partners. But have not had intercourse. My choice, my life, my future. Your decision will be influenced, as it should, by your religion and your parents, but ultimately it will be yours. You are 13, why the rush to intercourse? For me intercourse is the ultimate commitment by two people, not just something "fun" to do. Good luck as you progress through puberty. And, if you decide to have intercourse do so safely.

[Cheesydog567]

I think that if we were truly destined to not have sex until after we married we biologically wouldn't be able to. Plus I think marriage is a generally bad idea, because you are leaving yourself open to a non amicable end to the relationship

[nick_1999]

Personally, I think the whole "save your virginity until marriage" idea is bullshit. However, on the other hand, losing your virginity should be at least kind of special with someone you're likely to talk to again.
Your mom is probably just trying to protect you from making a bad decision, because no parent wants to see their teen son or daughter having children.

I'm not going to state my opinion (cause I don't have one yet), but I will say this. I go to a Catholic high school, and this is what they've taught us: sex was created to be between a married couple (male and female). DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE LAST PART. JUST SAYING WHAT THEY SAY. The Bible, Church teaching, and the Magisterium have said this. Sex is a bond of total love and devotion to that person. So, people should wait till after marriage to have sex. Again, please, no hate. I'm just re-stating what I've been taught. I'm not going to state my own opinion.

[Brightwolf]

My mom says she expects me to have sex only after I get married. I know that's a long ways away. I know that's what being a good man would do but I think it will be really hard to wait. I want to be a good catholic and respect my parents but I already want to have sex. It's like my mom doesn't want me to have any fun with things like this. She says I can't have sex and also she hates when I masturbate. I think it's because Im the oldest and it's new to her and my dad. Please help me what should I tell her?

Wait. Don't lose your virginity the first chance you get. Honor your parents, find a person you like when you want to get married, then you can do it however long/much you want! But seriously, until then just masturbate. Every guy does it, and there's nothing wrong with doing it (there is nothing in the Bible…I've checked).

[Horatio Nelson]

I would also like to wait until marriage. That may be no easy feat, but I will do my best to wait until then.

I see it this way, how can you commit your body to someone and not your life?

[Ricky.h]

My mom says she expects me to have sex only after I get married. I know that's a long ways away. I know that's what being a good man would do but I think it will be really hard to wait. I want to be a good catholic and respect my parents but I already want to have sex. It's like my mom doesn't want me to have any fun with things like this. She says I can't have sex and also she hates when I masturbate. I think it's because Im the oldest and it's new to her and my dad. Please help me what should I tell her?


Respect your parents, and honor them, but hey you're a male with a dick that'll get hard over anything so if you are in the situation and you have sex it's life it'll be alright....with religion you aren't supposed to have sex before marriage, so from a religion point of view try to abstain. But people mess up, and that's why God forgives us for our sins.

So basically I'm telling you to tell your parents that the choice is yours, because in reality it is, be smart and be safe.

And I'm not telling you to go out and have sex, but in my opinion I don't think a guy should be a virgin after 21.

[ChaseDakoda]

My mom told me if i get a girl pregnant she would cut it off

[Hermes]

It seems to me there are several components to this:

1. The view parents, especially mothers, have of their children's maturity tends to lag behind reality. As such as such parents find adjusting to their child becoming a sexual being, and that much closer to adulthood, takes time. In the mean time there can be friction.

2. The Catholic church have a hopelessly unrealistic attitude to sex. With an anti-masturnation, anti-contracpetion and no sex before marriage stance they are stuck in the dark ages. What are people supposed to do with the sex drive between puberty and marriage? Telling people they need to control such a basic instinct, not to channel it into something harmless, but to surpress it completely has been proved not to work. What happens when the Catholic church asks priests to be celibate and not take a wife? The priesthood then attracts people for whom that is no sacrifice because they prefer the choir boys. For a humerous take on the Catholic Church's stance check out the song "Every Sperm is Sacred (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk)" by Monty Python.

3. There is a historical and pracical significance to the idea of "no sex before marriage". For the man it was intended to make sure when a child was born it was his, i.e. so he would not be tricked into supporting another man's child. For the woman it would mean that if a child was born the man who presumably fathered it is committed to her to support it. All this is based on the idea that if a man and woman have sex, sooner of later a child will result, i.e. it pre-dates effective contraception. Needless to say it is not a good idea to have sex that results in a child being conceived when you are not in a position to offer that child a stable, loving home adequately provided for. Whether you avoid that situation by abstinence or contraception is personal choice.

4. People attach emotions to sex. The emotions are, to my mind, not intrinsic to the act but they do accompany it for many people, girls especially such that people often see a benefit in having sex for the first time with someone they love. Obviously it is up to you whether you fuck the first girl who agrees to it or whether you wait to make love with someone you have fallen in love with but if you do the former you can't then blame someone else if, later on, you wish you had done the latter. If you do decided to wait for someone you love it is also up to you where you draw the line between what you wait for and what you don't. You could content yourself with masturbation until you find someone you love or you could do everything except vaginal penetraion or something in between those two.

[Mikey13]

I have a purity ring. Mabe you should just tell her that you think its a personal decision

[CrazyPerson101]

It depends on different people & reasons. It could be religious , or it could be the thought of having children/grandchildren at a early age or many other things. No parent likes the idea of their child having sex. Certain religious parents want their kids to wait till they're married before they have sex, but being a teenager with lots of different things ( peer pressure, hormones , the urge , etc. ) can be hard not to have it. Honestly, you NEVER know if you'll wait or not, I plan on finding someone one day ( If I don't die alone ) and if we get married then great if not then idk but Idk if Ill wait till im married before I have my first time cause Life is life and life will throw situations at you that you just can't get out of or pass up ( well you can but it'll be really hard ). I guess what Im trying to say is : If you do choose to have sex before you're married, be prepared for whatever may happen. You could wind up with a kid or with a STD or whatever, if your parents found out, you'd need to be able to face whatever they may do ( like punishment or lecture or whatever ).

[Your Captain]

What she doesn't know can't hurt her

[The captain]

I wanna wait until marriage..I can wank until that

[xTropicDomx]

My mom says she expects me to have sex only after I get married. I know that's a long ways away. I know that's what being a good man would do but I think it will be really hard to wait. I want to be a good catholic and respect my parents but I already want to have sex. It's like my mom doesn't want me to have any fun with things like this. She says I can't have sex and also she hates when I masturbate. I think it's because Im the oldest and it's new to her and my dad. Please help me what should I tell her?
I wouldn't tell her much lol; It's your decision in the long run so do what you want to, not what your parents want you to do. As you get older and start going out more, you'll find you can stay out long enough to have sex but just don't tell your family, sounds evil but ya know.. >:-D mwa hahahaha