help - can both genders read? i'd like both views.

[missedcall]

hello.

i really hope i am writing this in the correct category. as females, we're taught to worry about marriage and children and our futures. my friends love to talk about that stuff and they can't wait for the day they find their "love of their lives", they explain it with such excitement - it kinda makes me want to laugh at them.

they're always asking me about that stuff, and when i say "i don't want to marry or have kids" they find it extremely shocking. i mean, do i have to have kids and get married to be a female?

it's strange, but i believe my reasons are valid. i don't want children because, if our generation is so fucked up some of our parents can't control us - what the fuck makes us think in 20 years time when we give birth to a bunch of babies, we're going to be able to control them with the society that they're going to grow up in? our surroundings are getting worse, so i wouldn't want to give birth to children who i might pity and regret bringing alive. i feel selfish to even think about brining life into such a cruel world.

furthermore, the marriage. disclaimer: my parents are happily married so this has nothing got to do with them. i hate the thought of being committed, i feel so fucking bored after. i sound so rude and terrible, but i'm being extremely honest. i don't like the thought of promising somebody you'll love them "forever" then something really shitty happens and somebody dies or you get a divorce or some shit like that - a lot of people are having divorce nowadays. so why be in a relationship - or marriage - where everything will soon end before it even begins?

my question here would be: am i the only human being who ever thinks like this? girl or boy, is anyone out there who read all the above and thought "wow, i literally think the same?" being i'm fucking tired of people looking at me like i've lost the plot when i tell them i don't want kids or to get married.

thank you for reading that.

[CosmicNoodle]

I don't want to be married or have kids ether, it's a normal view to have

[Blood]

There's nothing wrong with your views. I don't want to get married or have children either.

[conniption]

I think it's perfectly normal to hold these opinions. I find it ridiculous when my friends obsess over finding their "true love" because it just sounds like a boatload of bullshit. Relationships aren't for me. Married life seems dull and soul sucking. Children are too much work.

[TheN3rdyOutcast]

I don't really plan on having any sort of offspring, but I do want to find my true love. Maybe even get married.
My reason for getting married would have to be just to have someone to share my life with, for love, for sex, for a lifetime of companionship with a man that I love and who loves me back.
However, if you don't want to get married that's fine. And no, being married and having children is not a requirement of being a woman.

[RavleIncarnate]

Hey. I dont worry about these things now on; Im focusing on living like I want to while I still can. Heres To Never Growing Up is my life work theme song. But, I dread the day I marry. Of course, its probably nice to have someone to love and cherish, but hot damn, forever IS a long time! And I probably wanna have ONE kid someday. Less is more, but I would like somene to have a moral obligation to serve me in my (hopefulle not too) old age. I would like o think that I share your views, but only partially. However, I do understand the way you think.

[Melodic]

Well I mean, how I feel right now I wouldn't have kids because of my family genes, it's really a toss and turn on how that kid would turn up. But again, I could always put my experiences to teach my future child a lesson and help them through a lot more.

But I don't think it should be odd or weird not to want commitment or a child. As long as the commitment issues isn't hurting another person in the long run.

[CrazyPerson101]

I plan on getting married & having a couple kids but later in life, I don't want to be a young dad cause I wouldn't be able to financially afford it, It would be alot of stress and its just not worth getting into it at such a young age. I may start thinking about kids when Im 25-30 somewhere through there, that way Ill have a decent job ( if the country doesn't tank ) Id be more muture and It would all work out in the long run. If you discipline your kids, they'll grow up right. Most people find spanking abusive and just not cool ,well im sorry but taking away a 5 year olds phone won't do much, spanking gets through to a person that they're not supposed to do whatever they're doing. Now as they get older, punishment changes ( again don't be abusive ) but be stern ( if you decide to have kids ) That's what I will do. If you don't want to get married and or have kids thats fine, its YOUR life. Noone can live it for you but you. You are in charge of what you do and if someone has a problem with it, they can go sit on a stick for all I ( you or anyone else ) cares. It's not their place to tell you that you have to be marrieda nd have to have children. I hope this helped

[Dalcourt]

I think like you, too...I don't want kids not just because the world is cruel but also cuz I'm afraid that they could inherit some genetic based mental illness from my family.
And even if I found someone that could be my true love...why should I make this commitment? I mean you can also love each other and stay together without some ceremonies.

[Lottie]

I don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting marriage or kids.

Its your life so you should be able to do what you want.

I dont want kids either, but then I'm only 14 atm so who knows?

[Apollo.]

Each to their own, there's nothing wrong with your choice and opinion. Personally I want the marriage and kids (adopted or whatever other way possible) but thats just me. Out of curiosity have you ever been in a relationship? Im not saying your opinion will or should change but once you meet someone really special it might.

[Karkat]

Ok I would not like to have kids in TWENTY years anyways, because I'll be a little old to JUST be starting.

Back to the topic at hand, it's totally normal, especially as a teen. You may feel different later, you may not. Who knows? You shouldn't feel pressured into going along with what everyone else wants.

I personally think I want to get married and have kids, but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea.

[Stronk Serb]

My parents secretly think I should be castrated so that I can't contaminate the rest of the world. I don't care. I will find someone with whom I will have children and if we separate... The children will matter the most.

[riverboy]

Right now I don't plan to get married for at least 10 yrs and have no kids. I want to go on to school and see the world.

[Karagor]

I am desperate to find a girl who loves me as much as I love her, marry her, and have children together and a house and pets...

You are absolutely right to think the way you do, and no-one should tell you otherwise.

[handle with care]

your views are perfectly normal. i know many people who don't want to get married or have kids i want to get married but i'm currently terrified of having kids even though i am great with kids.

[Pulp501]

I'm a guy, and I do want to get married and have kids, but it's fine that not everyone does.

[unknownuser]

Gosh, a lot of you guys just sound like a bunch of boring pessimists... if you don't want to have kids/get married, what do you plan on doing your whole lives; slaving away working?
But to each their own. :)

I do want to get married and have kids, but obviously not now... once I'm done with school and hopefully have an ok job that can help support a family. Even though it may be hard and stressful both physically and mentally, it's a challenge I'd be open to accept. I'm sure it's rewarding. The only thing I'd really worry about is having teenage-aged kids. :P

[Wyatt 13]

My parents secretly think I should be castrated so that I can't contaminate the rest of the world. I don't care. I will find someone with whom I will have children and if we separate... The children will matter the most.


You are kidding right? About what your parents think right?

[Stronk Serb]

You are kidding right? About what your parents think right?

Mom doesn't as far as I know. but dad said that a few times, sometimes in a joking manner and sometimes seriously.

[chess123]

I've always said that I don't want kids but overtime I say it I just gt this feeling deep down inside that I want kids. And the more I think about it I want to be married have kids by the time I'm 25. But thats just me.

[Ethe14]

To each his own, I see why you wouldn't want to have kids. It's a normal thought to have. Me personally I do want to have kids when I'm 30 or so. But it's always a matter of wether you can be able to take care of them emotionally and financially.

[Left Now]

As far as I am more concerned about my education,I prefer to stay alone and improve myself;but I love having children too!Specially having daughter children!

[terrydactyl]

hello.

i really hope i am writing this in the correct category. as females, we're taught to worry about marriage and children and our futures. my friends love to talk about that stuff and they can't wait for the day they find their "love of their lives", they explain it with such excitement - it kinda makes me want to laugh at them.

they're always asking me about that stuff, and when i say "i don't want to marry or have kids" they find it extremely shocking. i mean, do i have to have kids and get married to be a female?

it's strange, but i believe my reasons are valid. i don't want children because, if our generation is so fucked up some of our parents can't control us - what the fuck makes us think in 20 years time when we give birth to a bunch of babies, we're going to be able to control them with the society that they're going to grow up in? our surroundings are getting worse, so i wouldn't want to give birth to children who i might pity and regret bringing alive. i feel selfish to even think about brining life into such a cruel world.

furthermore, the marriage. disclaimer: my parents are happily married so this has nothing got to do with them. i hate the thought of being committed, i feel so fucking bored after. i sound so rude and terrible, but i'm being extremely honest. i don't like the thought of promising somebody you'll love them "forever" then something really shitty happens and somebody dies or you get a divorce or some shit like that - a lot of people are having divorce nowadays. so why be in a relationship - or marriage - where everything will soon end before it even begins?

my question here would be: am i the only human being who ever thinks like this? girl or boy, is anyone out there who read all the above and thought "wow, i literally think the same?" being i'm fucking tired of people looking at me like i've lost the plot when i tell them i don't want kids or to get married.

thank you for reading that.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I don't particularly want kids myself, and I can't see myself getting married either. It's perfectly fine.

[TheRedViper]

While I want to both get married and have children, I understand your reasoning and respect it. There is no rule that says you must get married or have children, so you're perfectly fine to make your own decisions. As to the whole 'true love' thing, I think it's complete bullshit. There is no such thing as someone's 'true love,' just someone they like being around more than others. Call my cynical and unsentimental, but even though I want to get married someday, that doesn't mean I believe in true love at all.

[cjto]

a lot of people feel the same