I'm at a disadvantage

[PerpetualImperfexion]

People my age who are like me at my age always worry that they've never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I'm at a greater disadvantage. I've been a loner most of my life and only recently have I really let someone in.

This person is my first real friend. The first person and in some cases the only person that I've told so many things. The first one who i've cared about and who cared about me.

I know people talk about being with someone for a few years and then losing the spark. Well I'm running into the platonic version of that (only the currency is months). We've run out of secrets to tell and dreams to share. It really doesn't help that we share very few common interests and communicate online more than in person. We go to the same school, it's just, again, I'm only just now getting out of my shell.

But again, I'm at a disadvantage even more so because this person has more than just me, and I admittedly get friend jealous. I just wish I could get closer to this person, but even if I started doing some of the same things, they'll always have someone closer to them than me.

[xlBitterSweetlx]

I think you shouldn't compare your friendship with this person with their other relationships. I mean, it seems like what you have is something really precious and I know that person has come closer than anyone before, so you want to hang on to them. I understand what you're feeling, but try to focus on your own friendship, there are always topics to expand your mutual view on things - although differences are actually a nice thing. Try to go to some kind of event together, or maybe try coming along with their friends - you may find someone new and get to know them.
I know the feeling when there is that comfortable friend silence, but you still feel that little pressure to figure out something else to say, to get closer. But really, you shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself. :) After all, it should be a nice experience, not a stressful one.
I hope I helped ♥