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View Full Version : heyy, a little help here?


flaaffy
July 3rd, 2014, 07:16 PM
I just want some opinions on what I should do and how a couple guys are acting; I figure people on the internet are going to be a lil more honest than people I actually know (:
sorry if this is sort of long, just any advice would be really helpful.


1) I only have one ex, and I'm his only ex as well. we dated for a little more than a month a year ago, but he liked me for around half a year before that and we were close friends for at least a couple of months before we dated. he was one of my best friends, and he was the one that chased me. he was ridiculously into me, like "I stay up till 2 AM every night thinking about you", "I'll always love you, even if you break up with me", and we talked on skype for hours and hours every day, stuff like that. he suddenly started getting really distant, and he claimed that he was just nervous, but nothing I did helped.. so I was the one who broke up with him; it was actually over text, I was scared of breaking up in person, yeah I know that's bad, I wouldn't do it now. anyway, he said he still really liked me but if that's what I wanted, then that was what he wanted. he also asked if we'd ever go out again, and said he'd be a better boyfriend if he did. I was sure we'd stay friends, but he's been ignoring me for over a year now. he sees me every day at school. we've been in situations where he should've been forced to talk to me. he won't. he won't talk to anyone else about me, either. and whenever I pass him in the hall or something, he goes completely silent and pointedly looks away. it's ridiculously obvious that he's trying not to look at me. even so, I catch him stealing glances sometimes when he thinks I'm not looking. he's a super loud and outgoing person. I've texted him maybe twice, once right after we broke up and once earlier this year, trying to apologize and asking to be friends again..no such luck, he ignores it. it's really not like him, and I miss his friendship a lot. any ideas why he's acting this way or what I should do? I'm thinking of just leaving him alone for good, but we have a ton of mutual friends and we take a lot of the same classes so it's awkward.. :S

2) I've never gone out with this other guy, but I've liked him for like 4 years on and off. I didn't tell him for a couple of years, but I think he knew. after that, he randomly broke up with his 'girlfriend' (it was middle school, they hardly touched ever) because he liked me. he was the first guy to call me beautiful, yada yada yada, and I got even more attached to him. we texted constantly, and he flirted with me all the time in school. suddenly, he started ignoring me, even though he still stared and flirted a bit. kind of awkward. then he repeated the process a year later. he's done the I-like-you-then-ignore thing no less than 4 or 5 times now. I have no idea what to do about it, so I just kind of sit around and wait for him to come back around because I really do like him and I've known him for forever..he doesn't even talk to any other girls, really. I'm the only one he does this with. the last couple times, he's just made excuses about how he doesn't want a girlfriend 'yet'. i'm 16 and he's 15..? any help or ideas on what he's trying to do?

thanks so much!!

UndeadLittleRed
July 4th, 2014, 02:39 AM
I have some advice for 1. Confront him in person and tell him what you need to tell him. OR give a note that says everything you need to say to him on it to a mutual friend to give to him without them saying its from you. Thats all i got :P hope this kinda helps. and hope everything works out!

JamesSuperBoy
July 4th, 2014, 04:34 AM
You only dated for a month and you broke with him by text - sorry but what do you expect.

I think rather than trying to flirt and sit about and wait you either give up on this and learn from the experience or tell him in person how you feel and see what happens.

Hope this works out well for you both.

Microcosm
July 4th, 2014, 07:47 AM
1) I think he is just nervous every time he sees you. It sounds like he really really liked you and he couldn't be friends with you because those feelings don't go away that easy.

2) I guess just tell him how you feel and see how he responds. That's all I can really say for him.

SillyShyGuy
July 4th, 2014, 11:45 AM
This is about the first story: I think that he was not ready to handle a relationship. If he liked you so much then he should not have grown distant from you. In addition, if he is acting like a kid after the break-up then you should not give him a second chance. If he is going to continue to ignore you then you should not honor him with your friendship. He should not be acting like he is better than you when he has feelings for you. At this point, you should stop trying if he does not appreciate your efforts.

flaaffy
July 4th, 2014, 11:47 AM
thanks guys (-: I honestly didn't think anyone would read that haha

@UndeadLittleRed- yeahh I would do that, but I already said everything I wanted to over text..I know he read it because of read receipts, he just never replied. also, if I walk in his general direction when he's alone, he walks away. :p

@James-
1) well, yeah, that's kinda what I meant by this..we only dated for a month and it wasn't all that serious, so why is he ignoring me if I was one of his best friends?
2) hmmn, I might tell him in person.. it'll be hard for me cause I'm shy, but neither of us has done that before actually, so might be interesting

@Rainbow Dash-
1) yeah, the nervous thing would fit..like a couple of days after I broke up with him I did offer to get back together, though. and he ignored it. and apparently even now when his friends remind him of dating me, he's like "oh god don't remind me" and changes the subject
so really I have no idea

2) he already knows, I've done that..whenever he tells me, pretty much. :p

@SillyShyGuy- I think you're right..thank you (-: I'll probably just keep my distance.

SillyShyGuy
July 4th, 2014, 11:56 AM
You are welcome. If he truly cared about you then why would he be treating you like this? You deserve better than him. You deserve someone who will not ignore you and will be there for you.

flaaffy
July 4th, 2014, 12:23 PM
wellll I know he did at one point..when we first started dating, he kinda went insane trying to prove how much he cared. like, he'd randomly draw me pictures of things I liked that took him hours, even though he couldn't draw a straight line, he bragged about me to everyone in his family, he said things like "honestly, I'd do anything for you" and that he wanted me to be the girl he married (??), he'd skype call me all the time and then over and over again if I didn't answer..once it was literally 40 times, which was really creepy. so yeah, he did care, I think? he just started ignoring me altogether once I stopped picking up as many of his calls, and he never stopped. and his video game addiction flared up again, so league of legends suddenly took precedence over me. lol. but yeah, I have no idea how he stopped caring so quickly. didn't know that was possible :/
yeahh I know. I wouldn't date him again, I just want to be friends. but I can see that's not going to happen, so I'll just leave it..I've got plenty of other friends. thanks again!

liptonlee
July 4th, 2014, 12:48 PM
For 1), it seems you haven't addressed your ex's sudden change -- not that you didn't try, but it never got to make him feel better. Coupled with ur hurtful breakup, most likely he has locked all feelings for you deep in his heart and greatly hurting his ego. I think he still loves you, but he might be afraid of being hurt more from digging up his feelings for you.

Direct conversation should help, but make sure its private. It avoids awkwardness and he might feel better to express himself directly to you.

All the best!

flaaffy
July 4th, 2014, 08:51 PM
hmmn yeah, that seems possible. I'm not sure what I'd say though; I already apologized, and it's been over a year..might be too late to fix that. also, he flirts with a lot of other girls, like he's known to be a big flirt, so I doubt that he's still into me. thanks for the help (-:

anyone have any idea about the other guy..?